Everybody Dance the Running Man! - 
by Umnata
DuckFace finally makes a reasonable argument, even more shocking because she's a lawyer, when she asks Steadman what he's gonna do? Kill me? (yes.) Shoot me? (please.) There's no one coming to the house, he'll be stuck with her dead rotting corpse. Sure the argument has holes in it - what about his chats with his sister? - but it works on Steadman, mostly because anyone who gets into a situation where they are imprisoned by there sister in a mansion in Montana with no captors in sight, can't be too bright at the offset. He tells her to stop looking at him like the devil. She has no idea what he's been through. He doesn't even have teeth anymore! . DuckFace doesn't care. She calls the police and tells them to come pick her up. I like that the operator on the other end asks her if she's reporting a crime. What is this your own personal taxi service? DuckFace says yes there has been a crime committed! By the President of the United States!
Back at the Animal Hospital, the Vet really doesn't have any idea how to sew a hand back on a guy. I mean, how would he possibly? Now I don't know much about medical procedures or surgery (or anything of importance really), but I've got to imagine that reattaching a hand is a pretty major kind of surgery. Like wouldn't you have to reconnect arteries and veins and what not? T-Bag doesn't care, he wants that hand Luke Skywalkered back on and he wants it Luke Skywalkered back on now! T-Bag makes a pretty funny comment about finding the good Doctor's wife in town, and since they are a nice Indian family in the Midwest, that shouldn't be too hard. The Vet promises nothing, but he'll do it. Again, isn't T-Bag like holding a shiv with one hand and down a few pints of blood? Can't this middle aged Vet take him? The Vet tells T-Bag he'll need to put him under anesthesia, but T-Bag refuses. Nobody can handle this surgery without an anesthetic, but T-Bag informs him "I ain't nobody!" I don't know what it means, but it sounded really convincing coming from the Bagmeister.
Agent Mahone figures out the storage facility as well. I think he's in love with Michael Scofield. Seriously.
Mahone and Bellick make it to Unit 164 at the storage facility at the same time. Bellick tells Mahone to back off. Actually, he barks it at him, because that's what stock characters do. They don't speak, they bark. They open the door to the unit... and... PSYCH! It's empty.
TEE HEE
The guys actually picked up a bunch of shovels and headed over to a cemetery, not the storage unit. They begin digging up a person whose name was tattooed on Michael's body. GENIUS! But, lest we forget, Mahone is also a genius. He figures out that it's probably the name of a grave and pulls up the town census on his PDA, in addition to a half dozen other things I'd never think of. That's why I'm just the recapper.
In the grave, totally dig the name on the headstone by the way, E. Chance Woods, were a few garbage bags that filled with clothes and other on the run essentials, meant to last Linc and Michael a week, but are going to be shared amongst the 5 guys. The guys complain about the lack of variety in their wardrobes: "You want variety, go to Target." Imagine The Fox River 5 hiding out in Target? Awesome. On the side, Michael gives Lincoln his new passport (Finneus McClintock), and tells him about the car Michael's got stashed close by. A car for 2 or a car for 5, Lincoln wonders? Car for 2, Michael answers, looking at poor, about to be duped and generally all -around nice guy, Sucre.
Just then Agent Mahone shows up, while the guys are in the woods, about to sneak away. Michael kind of can't believe that there is actually someone this close to them. He notices Mahone take a pill, and no doubt logs that information.
SEEMS LIKE A REALLY STRANGE TIME FOR A VIAGRA
He stares longingly at Mahone, and I think that with Tony dead on CTU we have the next great manlove affair on television. Michael Scofield and Agent Mahone are so the new Jack Bauer and Tony Almeda. Michael sticks around a bit too long, and Mahone hears him as he starts running away. But the guys mix into a crowd on the street. After a fake out grab from a kid aggressively wondering what time it is, the boys are to safety.
At The Last House on the Left , DuckFace and Terrence are waiting for the cops to show up. Terrence says he can't go outside, but doesn't he want his life back? DuckFace calls Lincoln to tell him to turn himself in. He's got to stop running. She's found Terrence Steadman! It's all over! But, DuckFace, it's only episode 1 of season 2. The cops arrive while DuckFace is on the phone, looking an awful lot like the murdering psychopaths that both the President and the mysterious "Company" employ. DuckFace is so dense that Lincoln, hundreds of miles away over the phone, can sense the danger she's in before she does. The guy who entered tells Steadman to step away, DuckFace turns around and puts up her hands. But it doesn't matter. She takes two slugs to the chest and one to the head. It's the single greatest moment in Prison Break's young existence. Actually, the best moment is watching DuckFace's body be taken out of the house in two separate body bags. Before he leaves, the agent takes Steadman's gun, and leaves him alone in the house. It seems like Steadman, obviously disturbed over it being Duck Season, might be the anti-hero who grows a conscious over the course of the season. Boo.
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