This week's show started on a surprisingly sunny note. Literally. The familiar refrain of "Walking on Sunshine" greeted us, and for a fleeting second, I thought this show might be displaying an ounce of lightheartedness. Oh, how wrong I was. Turns out this Katrina and the Waves classic was merely the anthem to T-Bag's painful torture experience. For those of you who may have forgotten, ex-officer Bellick and his faithful sidekick, Whatshisface, had cornered T-Bag in a house and were now trying to make him 'fess up to the location of all that money. Well, apparently, they'd been going at it all night, playing "Walking on Sunshine" every time they plucked another stitch from T-Bag's wrist. Delightful!

Of course, we knew these corrupt officers would be getting their comeuppance somehow. T-Bag did have a blade of some sort stashed away in his sock. But would he be able to reach it amidst all the pain and slobbering? (Oh yes, there was slobber.) Chances were, he'd probably employ said blade at about the 57 minute mark, right as the show was wrapping up (he's done it before. Why not again?). In the meantime, the torturers found a nifty kitchen mallet, and what better way to spice things up than by  slamming T-Bag's janky wrist with it. Ah, the sweet taste of horrendous pain!

Meanwhile, over at FBI branch headquarters -- or wherever they were -- it was officially announced that Burrows was in custody. This led to cheers all around and that one black lady saying, "Another day, he'd be gone." THANKS, LJ. It's only the twenty-millionth time you've screwed things up for everybody. (For those of you who don't remember, they had to ditch their awesome car when LJ made eye contact with girls at a diner, and then later, when they were on foot, LJ got run over by a vehicle, leading to the arrest of him and his father. Way to go, douche).

We then cut to Agent Kellerman, who was busy being nefarious in a general sort of way. His cell suddenly rang, and immediately he could tell who it was: that pesky Asian man who likes to spend his days smirking and making veiled threats. I was personally amused to see that Mr. Kim, despite his high levels of Evilness, didn't bother to restrict his phone number for caller ID. If Patricia Wettig ever found out he was running such a shabby operation, she would certainly have him drugged and stuffed in the Montana ranch with her toothless brother!

Later on, we headed back to Arizona where LJ and Lincoln somberly rode in the back of a cop car. Yes, just another lazy day in Arizona. Nothing could go wrong. After all, local cops always have such a brilliant track record with keeping suspects in custody on FOX conspiracy shows...

Sure enough, a big, black van appeared out of nowhere and rammed the police car off the road! What's that you say? A car actually gets rammed off the road on Prison Break???? Why, I NEVER!!!

Well, with the squad car knocked down into a forest (for which Arizona is so famous for...), LJ and Link (my least favorite nickname of all time) ran free... for about two seconds. A bunch of people bounded out of the mysterious van, apprehending the two suspects. Leading the pack was a spritely blond woman whom Lincoln happily punched in the mouth before she explained that she was on his side. Even better, she worked for his DAD! Dunh dunh DUNH!

But that wasn't the real kicker. The big pre-credits cliffhanger was that Agent Mahone was now in New Mexico (even though he'd been digging up dead bodies in his backyard about ten minutes prior). Yes, he was ready to bust up this rendez-vous between Michael and Sara, and it wasn't gonna be pretty! Can't wait for William Fichtner to overact through this!

After the opening credits, we found Dr. Sara Tancredi in a motel where she was passing the time suffering from black-and-white flashbacks and general torment. At one point, she stared at herself in the mirror, being reflective, quite literally. She also remembered that she had a special key that Michael had given her, and since now was as good a time as any, she decided to attach it to her keychain. Why she hadn't done this before was beyond me, but hey, better late than never!

Meanwhile, up in Colorado, after a mere five minutes since being captured in Arizona, Lincoln and LJ arrived at a remote house. A random dude opened up Lincoln's door, and when he stepped out of the car, Lincoln brusquely asked, "Who you looking at?" Well, he was clearly looking at you. After all, he was opening your door. What did you expect him to do? Cover his eyes in genuflection?

Posted by B-Side on November 11, 2006 12:58 PM