While Operation Shitcatcher got underway, we then headed back to that gas station where Sucre was awaiting a call from Maricruz. Unfortunately for him, some police officers just happened to pull up right when the phone began to ring. If I were him, I would have casually walked up to the phone and answered -- mostly because the cops weren't looking, and it probably would have seemed a whole heck of a lot less suspicious than what he was already doing: pressing his back up against the wall, clenching his teeth, and looking agonized in a general sort of way. Alas, Sucre didn't have the balls to simply walk one foot and answer the phone, which meant that once again, he had missed dearest Maricruz.

"I hate my storyline!"

Meanwhile, Sara and Michael were still toiling about their industrial environs, and at long last, Mahone returned, ready to whoop some ass. Or at least shoot some ass with his cocked gun. Would our plucky survivors be able to get out of this jam?

We then went to commercial break, and when we returned, we found Lincoln talking to LJ, saying that "these people" were not to be trusted. They just wanted to use Lincoln to get to his dad. Were his suspicions warranted? Not so much. His dad really did show up, which meant that for at least the time being, it seemed like Lincoln was safe at last.

Back in New Mexico, there was nothing new on the Michael/Sara front. Still trapped. Still avoiding Mahone. Elsewhere, Paul Kellerman spoke with Mr. Kim, who informed him that a new agent was now on the case. Furthermore, he wanted Kellerman to follow Tancredi's trail, starting with her rental car. Wait a second. Did that mean that even after that poor woman was gunned down at the phone booth and her father killed, Sara still rented a car with her credit card? Just another convenient Prison Break twist!

Speaking of Tancredi and convenient twists, over in New Mexico, she saw an opening and ran out of the building and over to Mahone's car. She wanted to drive away, but unfortunately, Mahone hadn't stored a key on top of the visor. I guess that whole "manhunt" thing got in the way of proper key storage. Luckily, the good doctor had a trick up her sleeve: she knew how to hotwire a car. I mean, of course! She was a drug addict! All addicts know how to steal cars!

Inside the building, Michael managed to hurt himself, and even worse, he had boxed himself into a corner. All he could see were locks and propane valves. Hmmm... might there be a plan brewing?

Back at the torture house, T-Bag was experiencing some mild intestinal woe. You know, the sort of happy fun that comes with passing a key through your rectum. Tasty! Well, Bellick's buddy Roy (I finally looked it up) had the unenviable job of poking through T-Bag's feces, and before long, the two guys had their key. They tied T-Bag to a radiator -- oddly choosing to let him keep his right arm free -- and then hightailed it out of there (but not before calling 9-1-1 and tipping them off). As we left the house, we watched T-Bag struggle to get free, pulling intensely against his bonds. Was he going to rip his hand off to get free? That would have been disgusting to say the least. You know, I avoided Saw for a reason, but after watching Prison Break, I may not need to.

Back in New Mexico, Mahone was this close to capturing Michael. At one point, he walked into a corner -- the very same corner that Michael had been in just minutes earlier. Suddenly, there was a clatter as Michael swung a chain link door closed, locking Mahone in. Ah ha! Oh, and Mahone couldn't shoot Michael in defense because Michael had turned those propane valves. One gun shot, and they all go up in a burst of flames. Yay!

Well, as you can imagine, this all turned into an intense scene as the two men mixed it up, saying what they each planned to do and whatnot. Michael said he was innocent, Mahone babbled on about how he didn't have a killer instinct, blah blah blah. At one point, the evil agent mentioned something about Panama, which had Michael (and me) wondering how the heck he knew about Panama. Did he have a mole? Who could it be? C-NOTE??

Nevertheless, Michael and Sara drove off in her car (which she had fetched in the meantime), and over at the Kansas bus depot, tweedle dee and tweedle dum found T-Bag's million dollar bounty. Yes, it all seemed like everything was perfect for these two, but one can never underestimate the power of greed. Even though they were right in the open, Roy took out that kitchen mallet and demanded that Brad hand over the bag. GOOD GOD! HE HAD A MALLET! It was almost as horrific as T-Bag's screwdriver of doom!

Well, Bellick laughed it off, causing Roy to unleash a mallet fury on his head. The angry sidekick quickly felled his friend and ran off with the money, saying, "Next time, you look through the crap!" And just like that, Roy ran off with the money, hopping on the nearest bus and disappearing into oblivion. Meanwhile, how did no one not just see the mallet bludgeoning? It's not like they were hidden from view. I guess these things happen all the time in Kansas. Another day, another mallet-ing.

Posted by B-Side on November 11, 2006 12:58 PM