Garbage In, Garbage Out - 
by EdHIll
First Let me thank sg-dub for filling in for last week's Project Runway recap on short notice. Ever since I heard they canceled One Ocean View, I've been on a week-long bender, and I've only just come out of it. As for his personal slights against my character and my, as Angela would say, quote unquote, pimping myself out for my female readers, I shall not dignify it with an answer. But seriously ladies, how are your cooters?
Now that our resident stoner Bradley has gone down, we have entered what I call the "golden corridor" of any elimination-based reality show season. It's that magical time when the number of contestants has thinned out so not only are all the least talented contestants gone, but the number of people left has gotten down to a manageable size so you know who everyone is and can really get into the show a lot more. The golden corridor however only lasts a certain time, as once we get down to the final 3, it loses its edge, and you're stuck with only the few personalities left, who you may not even like (For an example see the final weeks of Big Brother 6 when it was Ivette, Maggie, April and a morose Janelle who slept all day in her room).
And of course this week, TVgasm also revealed our new Project Runway contest. And if I do say so myself, it's the biggest contest we've ever had.
The show starts as it always does the day after the last runway challenge. Michael is still basking in his win from the last challenge. A win that was long overdue. Michael you see, has been my pick since his coffee filter dress from episode one, so I'm glad to see him get the recognition he deserves. He tells us he is thrilled that he made it this far and especially that he finally won a challenge.
Seriously?
Over at the other apartment however Crazy eyed Vincent is bemoaning the loss of his "boy" Bradley. How else is Vincent gonna score some percocet for the rest of the season? Vincent then once again reminds us that he cashed in his 401K and quit his job to do the show. Yah, yah. Whaddya want a medal? No one told you to bet your life savings on a reality show. It's not like wander around the streets bragging that I gave up my life savings and the love of my family to bid on a can of beans on The Price is Right. Although I'd do it. In a heartbeat. $1.39! $1.39!
Later the contestants all meet Heidi up on the runway. And Heidi's dress this week is quite the disappointment. It looks like something Santino would design. And turquoise blue? It makes her crotch look INSANE! Anyways, Michael is given the choice of the double chinned Katie and the fierce Nazri who helped him win the last challenge. It's no shock who he keeps and Katie is left to fend for herself. She probably ran to the closest White Castle. I kid, I kid, she was skinny, she just had a slightly chubby face is all.
Heidi says that she thinks they all have had it a little too easy so far. When she says this Angela, not understanding the concept of a "rhetorical statement" pipes in "No we haven't!" Heidi does not tolerate insubordination. "Oh yeah, compared to last season. You've had it easy." She tells them with a sly look on their face. Thy will find out how tough their new challenge is tomorrow morning.
The next morning at 5 AM, a dapper Tim Gunn (seriously, I think the man has the power to repel all wrinkles) knocks on their door and tells them to get ready for a field trip. He also warns them "no open toed footwear". Uh oh, what could this mean? Making a dress from a construction site? Or maybe Tim just isn't in the mood to look at toes today? We'll find out soon enough.
Vince Titty
Downstairs they are all shuffled into a van and driven to that place. The one whose name we dare not speak for it strikes fear in the heart of all who utter its name. Northern New Jersey. Alison says she spent the entire time humming the Sopranos song, which is followed by an actual Sopranos like song playing. Only it's not so close to the actual Sopranos song that anyone has to pay anyone else royalties. The van stops in front of a huge warehouse where Tim leads them to a loading dock in front of a giant garage door. Then Tim utters a sentence I never thought I'd here him say "We are in Newark New Jersey..". Tim doesn't strike me as a Newark kind of guy. Hoboken maybe, but Newark? No way.
Then the door slowly opens and we see... garbage. Well. Recyclable material really. Their job, Tim explains, while wearing a yellow hard hat, yellow vest and safety goggles (you never know when a giant piece of recycled paper will attack), that their next challenge will be to make an outfit from the recycled materials. They have thirty minutes and it starts now. This would have been so much better if it was real garbage. I want to see what crazy Vincent would do with a pile of used condoms, besides eating them that is. Robert complains that he doesn't "work with garbage" while Kayne is thrilled saying he grew up white trash and was used to dumpster diving. The first cracks in their relationship? Vincent meanwhile gets that creepy "I'm so inspired" tone of voice. "Because this is trash. I want to make something contradictory to trash. I'm going to make art" Brilliant plan! You see, unlike all those other idiots, Vincent is going to try and make the garbage NOT look like garbage on the model. Oh my dear Vincent you are crazy. Crazy like a fox!
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