The San Diego season of Real World has been a solid entry into the long running series. Granted, anything will seem engaging after the yawn-inducing Paris season, but I won't go into that, lest its blackhole of suckiness ensares this post too. The point is that in what has been already a fairly entertaining season, we were served up an exemplary installment that had the septet heading off to Greece. The ongoing love affair of Bunim-Murray Productions and STA Travel led to what should have been a desperately needed break from the breakneck pace of SD life. After months of living in a sweet pad on the beach and sailing all day, the roomies went to Greece where they stayed in a sweet pad on the beach and went sailing. Should be fun, right? Not for Frankie. The attention-seeking sourpuss was scowling from the moment she stepped off the plane. What's the dealio, Frankie? Maybe she was just discouraged by the state of Olympic preparations. Or maybe a giant boat was sitting next to her on the plane. Actually, Frankie probably realized that if she didn't get in touch with her inner-bitch, the cameras might stray onto decent people like Jamie and Jacquese - assuming that they were to do something other than spy on people making out.

Aside from Frankie's dour disposition, the trip seemed to be going along quite nicely - and apparently uneventfully considering that the first few days were jumbled into a montage of Jamie snapping photos of the Acropolis and Brad smiling and stuff. Frankie chirped in a few times about how she couldn't stand her roommates and how the vacation would be so much better with her boyfriend Dave because Greece is so romantic yada yada yada. Truth is she just wants to complain about the conformity of her roommates... and then dote on that trucker hat she bought Dave a few episodes ago. I shouldn't be so mean. After all, as a member of the punk culture, Frankie in no way tries to assume a preselected value set and fashion sensibility.

The Frankie grumblings were quickly forgotten though when suddenly we found Cameran in an Irish pub (way to soak up the local culture!) getting whipped cream licked off her belly. As usual, she was SOOO embarrassed and omg, how could people do that to her! Like OMG! Mom is going to be so embarrassed!!! Well, this led to a little Brad flirting, and better yet, some steamy hot tub action. As usual, we got some kissy kissy, followed by Cameran inflicting some blue balls on poor Brad by stopping the hookup randomly. This resulted in a wannabe poetic shot of Cameran gazing out of the hot tub with Brad puzzled in the background. Oh Bunim-Murray, how you encapsulate the human condition!

Just when we thought this episode was going to be about the ongoing flirtations of Brad and Cameran, Robin decided to pop in and remind us about the time when we thought she was the biggest drama queen in the house. Turns out that sometime between the Cool Whip and the hot tub, Cameran misplaced the room key. Not acceptable. At least to Robin. Suddenly, the breasty roommate let loose a stream of expletives she surely learned during her two day stint in the clink. Apparently Robin needs her beauty sleep and dammit if Cameran's going to stop her. In a subtle touch of guilt tripping, Robin gently reminded Cameran that she "fuckin' went to jail for you, bitch". I wonder if the editing room floor has footage of Robin then saying "I'm gonna cut you, bitch. I'm gonna cut you!"

Actually, there was a little logic to this whole random outburst. Robin, in her drunken state, could no longer deal with the fact that no matter what Cameran does, she always gets a free pass when it comes to irresponsibility. However, our Coyote Ugly friend gets hellfire and brimstone whenever she makes the smallest of mistakes. It's a pretty valid concern to voice, but Robin doesn't quite understand the value of time and place. Also, cursing doesn't help.

While Cameran awkwardly cried against a wall as if she were going up against a firing squad, Frankie took this opportunity to fan the flames. First she supported Robin, agreeing that Cameran always gets preferential treatment. Then she went to the wall and managed to simultaneously berate Cameran while bashing Robin behind her back. Thankfully Brad, already frustrated by his failed hot tub antics, did what we've been wanting someone to do to Frankie all season: call her out. Frankie denied provoking the incident, saying she just wanted to help. "I'm sorry, I didn't see a mediator" replied Brad in one of his few brilliant lines of the season. After some more verbal harrassment from Brad, Frankie stormed away. Meanwhile, Robin, all crying and hands flopping, tackled Cameran with repentant hugs and insisted on sleeping with her the rest of the night. Jail does strange things to a woman.

Posted by B-side on May 16, 2004 11:57 PM