Conversation Tivo: what is this curfew Wes spoke of? Did the powers that be at BMP force the kiddos back to the house at a certain time? A fog of curiosity has descended upon TVgasm.

Anyway, back to Leo and Johanna. "Leo really, really, really likes Johanna," Rachel told us, adding, "Almost as much as I like ice cream in the mail and making numerous iMovies." Sure enough, back at the house, Leo and Johanna found a big comfy chair to curl up and make out in. And because no scandal goes unnoticed by the house's resident Liz Smith, Lacey watched remotely from the phone room where she could spy through the house TV monitor. "I always flip the channels on our TV to watch the rooms while various people are there," she explained. This girl is the most intrepid Real World gossip collector of all time.

Meanwhile, as Jo and Leo hooked up and Lacey watched voyeuristically on TV, poor Wes was left all alone with neither a friend nor a fat groupie in sight. Alas, he was the only living boy in Austin that night. Whither Wren? Whither Megan? Whither your right hand?

And just in case the plight of Wes didn't call for enough indie/emo music, we then cut to commercial where we saw Death Cab for Cutie on "the drop." Thanks Seth Cohen! Adam Brody LOVED Tuesday's 10 Spot!

Coming back from the break, Johanna was embarrassed because clearly someone had been watching her on the TV the night before. Oh, and guess who else was watching? All of America! Nevertheless, this didn't stop our Spicy Latina from going all Peruvian on Leo's ass as she made out with him more at the Dizzy Rooster again that night. She claimed she liked his wild side; although, from what we could see, Leo's wild side seemed to be nothing more than giving a marginally less fey smile than usual and shrugging. As for Wes, he was still jealous and alone. Kind of odd. You'd think someone with such self-professed good looks would be pulling in the girls left and right.

Nevertheless, Wes wasn't going to take this sitting down. We then saw footage of him at home throwing plastic water bottles, then papers, then pencils, and then other Katamari Damacy-ish objects. He had so many lightweight trinkets to toss, the producers actually sped up his spree with a fast-motion effect. Man, I know how he felt. There are some times when I get so mad, all I want to do is throw a penny or a stamp booklet. Oh, but then he moved onto the big stuff. Wes actually picked up a plastic chair and threw it into the pool! Uh oh spaghetti-o! Luckily, pool cam caught all the action from under the water. For the record, I didn't even know there was a pool cam. It's sort of sad that it's big premiere moment happened with this inauspicious event (as opposed to a more welcomed pool humping). Also for the record, the description for this week's episode on Tivo included the sentence, "Wes trashes the house." And I have to say, I've seen a lot of house trashing, but this, with its scattered bottle caps and chair in the pool, was beyond anything I'd ever seen before in my life. Rockstars in hotel rooms have got nothing on Wes.

Pool Cam!

When everyone came home from a fun night out in Austin, mild shock resonated through the house. After all, their domicile was now mildly more messy than it had been before. Oh, and here's something I bet you didn't know. When Wes was on his "rampage," he pulled Melinda's sheets off her bed. Now THAT is out of control! Her retaliation? She pulled HIS sheets off and threw them in the pool with the plastic chair. Well, surely no good deed goes unpunished. Wes then chased Melinda around with a pool noodle, surely upsetting Lacey, who we all remember is the High Priestess of the Pool Noodle Kingdom:

Later, Leo came to the house and brought a box of treats with him. What could it be? Donuts perhaps? Nope. Just a bunch of bratwursts. You see, according to Lacey, every time Johanna gets drunk, she "stops at the bratwurst stand and sits at the curb and shove it down her throat." Fellatio/curbside 'ho jokes unnecessary.

Johanna just loves sausage.

Well, Leo and Jo Jo cuddled on the couch with a cup of water and a brat. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: Leo's really gotta tame that wild side. To be fair, things did get a bit randy between the two. She spilled water on him. He then spit water back at her. She spilled more water on him, and Wes came running out of nowhere with a pool noodle. Okay, that last thing didn't happen, but after this "wild" exchange, the two slipped into bed together, and even though she said she didn't want to be their audience, Lacey stayed in the room as the Joleo consummated their relationship. If you're like me, you half-expected the credits to flash on screen, but then suddenly the realization hit that there were still a good ten minutes left to watch. Great.

So the next day, things became all weird with Johanna and Leo. You see, she wanted to get a pedicure, and he wanted to... sit in her bed. Despite Johanna continually saying, "Okay, I have to go," Leo made no effort to do a patented, "Yeah, I should probably go too," and so finally she simply gave him an awkward goodbye (no hug) and went off with Melinda. Things went from bad to worse as later that day, Johanna claimed to have called Leo many times, but alas, he never called back. Cue the angry Enon guitars! Something's rotten in the state of Texas!

Posted by B-side on September 29, 2005 3:38 PM