This week's episode started off with something of a twist. For once we weren't at the Dizzy Rooster. Instead, we opened the show with Danny and Melinda cuddled up together in bed (where else?), whispering sweet nothings to each other. Make that sweet, funny-sounding nothings. Between her midwestern inflections and his Boston accent, the only thing left to totally cause ear hemorrhaging was a cameo appearance by Fran Drescher. That surely would be the unholy troika of American dialects.

Well, as the two romantics opened their hearts to each other, Danny engaged in that traditional Real World practice: my actions are excusable as long as I'm aware of them. "I'm scared of getting hurt again," he told Melinda, as if that were to make any of his bar flirtations any better. On the plus side though, he did take a step towards commitment by officially asking Mel to be his girlfriend. Awww. Maybe now they can go to the sock hop and tell people they're going steady! And then afterwards, they can neck at makeout point! By the way, I won't believe this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing until I see a 75¢ promise ring on Mel's finger. Yeah, that's right Danny. Some of us have standards.

Hey, remember that documentary the kids were supposed to be doing? Well, it was back. South By Southwest was looming which meant we got to see the bands arriving in Austin. This was all great and everything, but c'mon! Where's ENON??? Nevertheless, the roommies headed out to go film, but first they checked in with their advisor Paul Steckler who wanted to know what their strategy was for shooting. "We have a very foggy plan of action for handling the bands this week," Lacey told us. Oh really?? That's a shocker. Normally the Real World kids are always so organized and detailed with their jobs. I'm really at a loss for words.

Well, the three bands the roommies were going to follow around were Halifax, Hellogoodbye, and, wait for it, Enon! Yay Enon! (Not to be confused with Enron.) By the way, if you spell Enon backwards, you get "None." That's one of those points that sounds really cool, but basically has no value. Kinda like how "Tulsa" backwards is "a slut."

Before this big ol' documentary could get underway, Steck had one last thing to point out. The big Real World trip would depend on getting a good rough cut. Dunh dunh DUNH!!! Heavens forbid they don't get to go on their trip! Luckily, we already saw from the season preview many weeks ago that the roomies all wind up in some tropical place; so I think it's safe to say that either a) the kids rose to the occasion; or b) Steck didn't care -- he just said their cut was good to get them out of his hair (his puffy, wooly hair).

Nevertheless, even though we knew there was no way MTV would not allow the cast to go on vacation (also known as the drama gold mine), people like Rachel were still scared that they'd be deprived of some STA Travel-sponsored holiday. "I don't care if I have to do all the work," she told us, "I'm not going to not go on that vacation." And let's be fair: she really deserves a vacation... from her vacation. Well, looks like those iMovie skills will come in handy! We then saw Rachel call up her boyfriend and bark, "We're going full throttle with the documentary. I'm talking 24/7. I need five pints of cotton candy ice cream, STAT!"

Okay, Rachel didn't do that, but she did talk some crazy talk. She suggested that everyone meet at "The Parrish," whatever that was. Listen, Austin is Dizzy Rooster country. You expect me to believe these guys are venturing elsewhere? Please.

Well, after several episodes of this less-than-thrilling job, we finally saw some much needed conflict. You see, everyone headed out to interview Enon, except Melinda and Danny who instead opted to enjoy a lovely lunch at the Spaghetti Warehouse, which is not to be confused with the Spaghetti Factory. What's up with restaurants wanting to marry spaghetti with industrial structures? Should I be anticipating the grand opening of the Spaghetti Hangar? Or the Spaghetti Refinery? (Imagine my best Seinfeld voice: Whaaat's the deeeal?)

Anyway, while the happy couple dined, Lacey, of course, had something to say: "Melinda doesn't like editing. Melinda doesn't like sound. Melinda doesn't like camera. And Melinda doesn't even really like the bands we have." Another Real World shocker. A cast member doesn't like the job. Will this season ever fail to stupefy me? Nevertheless, while Danny and Melinda downed some wine and beer over their warehouse-quality spaghetti, John from Enon called up Lacey. I could pretty much feel her heart go pitter-pat. Lacey LOVES Enon!

Posted by B-side on October 10, 2005 4:48 PM