Did I say hedonistic? Because this latest episode was all about work, not play. Sure, the producers managed to fit in drunken girls dancing atop bars, but hey, when it comes to the Real World, that's like capturing footage of people breathing: you can't avoid it. Anyway, the show began with Paul Steckler and his posse coming over to check out the documentary. Wait, what? Documentary? Oh, that's right! It's that job the kids have worked on for about five minutes this season. Well, before Steck could even check out the footage, there was some product placement to be had. He conveniently bestowed the roommies with a brand new T-Mobile Sidekick (pause to hold up Sidekick, smile at the camera) with the understanding that they could use it to keep in touch with their advisors. Yeah, okay, whatever. It's a product placement, Steck. They could have used a land line.

Steckler then gathered 'round the boys and girls and asked them what their favorite moments of the filming were, and guess what? Everyone liked a different band. Wes in particular made an impassioned plea for what may have been the seminal moment in filmmaking as a profession: "I was holding the camera up, and he was singing over me; he sweats all this water, and it falls down onto the camera lens... It's sick." Wow, sounds more impressive than the opening shot from Goodfellas.

Well, as ardent followers of this season may remember, the roommates had to put together a rough cut of their doc, otherwise they wouldn't get to have an STA Travel-sponsored vacation. That meant they had to present their work to none other than the Austin Film Society -- something Rachel was fairly eager to do. "This is to show the Austin Film Society what we've done and that we deserve a little vacation," she said. Seriously, they really deserve a vacation. Sometimes, when all you do is party day in and day out, you really need to take a break and party elsewhere. Besides, let's not forget about the demands of that documentary. I mean, people, they've put almost fifty hours of work into their job over three months. That's like thirty-two minutes a day!

Anyway, because of his alleged expertise in filmmaking and videography, Nehemiah stepped up to oversee the assembly edit of the doc while other roommates sat on the side and occasionally served as Avid cheerleaders. "I like it," declared Wes after seeing one cut. WELL! If Wes likes it, we might as well hand the Oscar over now! To be fair, Lacey said she liked it too, so hey, looks like we're heading to the People's Choice Awards also.

Nevertheless, while Nehemiah toiled on the Avid system, Wes explained his role in the editing process: "For the most part, I'm going to stay out of that editing suite unless I'm taking a girl in there." So.... basically, you're staying out.

As Nehemiah neared completion of the rough cut, Wes -- the Pauline Kael of The Real World house -- weighed in with his official opinion yet again: "Genius!" Consider it Netflixed!

Well, as long as Nehemiah seemed to be on top of this editing mess, it meant there was only one thing for Wes and Danny to do: hit up the Dizzy Rooster! We then cut to the two guys lapping up beer that had trickled off the wet t-shirts of two fairly ugly girls dancing on the bar top. Seriously, these guys really do need a vacation.

But wait! All was not well in documentary land! Lacey, who had previously signed off on the assembly edit, had now changed her mind. "They're good, but they're music videos," she balked. Yes, apparently Nehemiah, in his undying ambition to be the next Spike Jonze, kind of forgot that key element to a strong doc: substance. Instead of editing in all those interviews and soundbytes, he had simply spliced together the three bands singing their songs. And you just know there were three or four star-wipes in there too. Well, Rachel and Lacey were not happy about this, and they spent an entire cab ride bitching and moaning about it. Hey girls, I've got an idea. Just step up and make the changes yourself! After all, Rachel has made numerous iMovies. I'm sure her filmmaking skills rival Quentin Tarantino at this point.

The next day, it was time for a pre-screening screening for Paul Steckler, his assistant Jen, and his frumpy writing colleague, Sherry. Once everyone was comfortable, Nehemiah pressed play and let the magic begin. Did I say "magic?" I meant "boredom." Yes, even though Paul has a general look of ennui about him, he seemed even more bored watching this cut than usual. And oh no, androgynous Cheryl Swoops fan Jen looked bored too. I don't even want to see what Sherry's thinking. Oh no! She's bored too! But I thought this was supposed to be genius! Wes said so!

Posted by B-side on November 1, 2005 2:40 PM