And speaking of the clink, this episode began with the ominous sight of police flashers coloring the Austin cityscape. Let's not forget, mind you, that when we left off last week, future Academy Award honoree Nehemiah had been thrown in the clink for some unknown reason. What, prey tell, had the Austin PD caught him doing? Another dreaded floral burglary? Or had Neh simply absconded with a mundane potted plant. Perhaps he'd sheared off a healthy and unlawful portion of a hedge. The possibilities were endless!

Well, Wes tried to accept Nehemiah's collect-call from prison, but wouldn't you know it? They got disconnected before they could even talk. Damn phone! Or perhaps I should say, "Damn highly visible Vonage-sponsored phone!" Anyway, Wes was able to find out some info, and explained to us, "I'm thinking that Nehemiah didn't just steal a rose like Johanna did." He's right. It could have been a tulip. Or a daffodil.

Oh but I kid! (Flower comedy is always a sure-thing.) Whatever it was that Nehemiah had done, it was serious, and so Danny headed down to the Travis County Jail to see what he and his short brimmed cap could do. Turns out he couldn't really do anything, but at least he didn't show up piss-drunk like the time he went to rescue "Joey" from "the slammah!" The next day, Danny returned from jail (did he get lost?) and announced that it would cost $5,000 to bail Nehemiah out. How will they get him out??? I wonder if there's some profitable cable network out there with deep pockets. Maybe they could help out. Nah...

As the roommies reeled from this news, Rachel then noted, "I kind of hate to bring it up, but, um, we kind of have a premiere in less than a week." She then added, "And this may be bad timing too, but, um, I kind of got melted cotton candy ice cream on the Avid. It's broken now. Sorry."

Okay, Rachel didn't actually spill any nasty Priority Mail ice cream on the editing system, but she did raise an important point: Nehemiah was the go-to man for this doc, and with him in jail, the roomies were screwed. Tragedy hits the Austin Film Society!!!

Well, there was only one thing to do: get Nehemiah out of jail. After realizing that rolling doubles wasn't going to do the trick, Danny came up with the idea of using his Get Out Of Jail Free card -- a.k.a. the producers. Yes, he was hoping that "production" would front him some money to save Nehemiah's ass (literally, his ass), and while we waited to hear whether or not this would happen, our newest detainee called up. Now the moment of truth. What had Neh-Neh done? "Got into a fight, dude. They tried to fight me, but then they took me in," Nehemiah said. A fight? That's so... average. C'mon, this is The Real World! It's got to be either really exciting or really dumb. Were any skulls broken? What about flowers? Was there any sort of improper trellis use?

We didn't get much more information with this phone call, but the good news for Nehemiah was that production was going to bail him out and deduct the expenses from his paycheck. "It really sucks because this happened to Nehemiah, especially because he's so broke," Johanna said. Suddenly, Danny piped up with a surly, "You know what? He has a really hot head, and he knows about it." Whoa! Impressive use of logic. Granted, Danny would be the first one asking for pity had the same thing happened to him, but nevertheless, his sudden interest in concept of "responsibility" was mildly refreshing.

"He chose the wrong thing, and he's gonna pay for it," Danny said, later following up with, "You know what, maybe this is a reality check for Nehemiah. You just can't go around hitting people and expect to get away with it. To me, it's kind of irresponsible." Wow, I don't know what's up with this newfangled Danny Logic, but I'm sure it won't be around for long. You know how people have "brain farts?" Well, I guess with Danny, his brain farts actually make him smarter. Go figure.

Meanwhile, over in the editing suite, Rachel was learning about personal responsibility also. "Just another lesson in life. Do not trust other people to get the job done," she said as she sidled up to the Avid system. Wow, what's up with all these vaguely mature comments? Real Worlders aren't supposed to be thinking like that! I guess Rachel gets a free pass though. It's not like she's proven herself to be exceptionally irresponsible with anything (except apparently when it comes to not flinging herself into basketball machines).

While Rachel and Lacey worked tirelessly on Nehemiah's masterpiece, their "I couldn't look more like a film student if I tried" advisor David came by to check in on things. He happily reminded the girls that there were only three days left before the big premiere, and furthermore, he wasn't sure they'd be able to complete the task in time. He then added, "Also, you'll all lead miserable lives filled with anguish and despair before dying alone and sad and full of regret."

Posted by B-side on November 19, 2005 4:34 PM