those pics are soo weird- i wondered why danny looked so made-over last nite (aka he looked like a giant orahge with pearly whites)

Ummm, why would any modeling agency in their right mind have this guy posing with his arm up?? Not just because he look slike a complete and total RETARD with his arm up but there is only so much of his armpit hair I can take.. Someone should tell him to get some new representation, if he wasnt in those god aweful poses he would probably be ok.....DAMN

I was hoping the Nehemiah would "keep it real" and call him out on the new teeth...but no luck.

AND ENOUGH WITH THE LITTLE HATS!!

oh my god. insanity. even in his "modeling" shots he can't get rid of the short brim hat.

oh yeah - and danny definitely has a dangerous addiction to mystic tan and crest whitestrips!

b-side... i can't wait for the recap on the reunion - its gnarly.

This is astounding. It really lifted my spirits. Why did it take me all season to realize that Danny is really the last long lost new kid on the block!!! (oh, right, it took me all season because i stopped watching after Jo got arrested).
danny, they are called HEAD shots, not ARMPIT HAIR shots.

I can't wait for the reunion recap! It was one of the best reunion shows ever. I think someone needs to step in and save Melinda before she becomes the next Katie Holmes.
P.S. The picture of Joe from Miami made me spit water on my keyboard.

omg, i couldnt stand to watch the reunion show without breaks. it was too much!

danny is such a whore and lacey is so awesome!

I just saw the final ten minutes of the reunion show. That shit was awesome.

Danny is such a douchebag.

anyone see Nip/Tuck last night? man, if i slept with danny, i'd make him put a paper bag over that oversized, squinty-eyed head of his..but you SO know that he'd be cool with it as long as you'd let him draw a short-brimmed hat on the front of the bag with a sharpie (by the way, i'm using the Sharpie motif because there was a tacky, puke-worthy Sharpie pen commercial congratulating mel and danny for their engagement after the airing of the reunion today)

^ yes, b-side..danny is the biggest douchebag on that show..those veneehs just kept me staring at his overused mouth..nehimiah and rachel are (well, they're not my heroes, i won't stretch it that far) decent people for calling danny out on his lameness...
BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY IS JOHANNA DATING WES?
she cannot honestly say she's attracted to him--cause i ain't buyin' it!

"This grass is wicked sexy."

I laughed so hard I scared my baby.

...and the producers clearly paid for the ring - nice how the host had to make a mention of who the jewler was!

The Joe picture is A RIOT!!! RE Danny, I predict he has a great future in weekly, regional, free, GLBT pubs. Or on nightclub handouts. Not that there's anything wrong w/ that. & can someone please fill me in on the hat? The only thing I can figure out is that he's using it to hide something, bc you rarely see him w/o some sort of headgear.

I missed last night! ARGH. Not sure why I care b/c I could not freakin' stand that whole cast but... Danny is clearly a good looking guy but he just kills it with his personality, those f*cking hats he wears, and his overall cheesiness.

He looks so awkward in those pictures.

is it just me or does danny's eye still f'd up...it looks crooked to me!!!

"My elbow is wicked sexy, yo.".

LMAO. You are brilliant,
B-Side.

B-Side- You ah wicked funny

This guy reminds me of http://parisfacial.ytmnd.com/ except that he seems to have two facial expressions instead of one. The gangsta pic is sooo homoerotic. Homes should definitely shoot his agent, if only to get some cred. And while I'm at it, could we please dispense with baseball cap brims manually distorted into an inverted V? This has got to stop. I just heard they are bringing back the skinny tie. Enough is enough.

ok this was toooooo funny for me b-side. danny is such a tool and i can't wait until you recap the reunion. my love for nehemiah & lacey went up definitely. someone really should save mel from danny though a-sap. btw, does anyone else think danny's "modeling" pics look like senior pictures because i graduated 2 years ago and that looks like shit guys in my class did...laying in the grass?? posing with a baseball bat?? really? modeling? no

Yes, The Svan cannot wait for the recap either. How pathetic is it that Danny can't even buy his controlled peon a real ring?

I'm so glad Neimiah came out swinging on the reunion. It was as if the producers jammed a Z of yay up his nose, smacked him on the ass, and said "go get them."

My favorite part was when he told Danny he idolized Ben Affleck. If that's true it just goes to show how sad Danny is as a person. If it's just a mere insult then Neimiah is frickin hilarious. Best line since he said "Wes just isn't that attractive."

Either way, the first question out of the host's mouth should have been "Melinda, why aren't you wearing shoes? What the F is wrong with you?"

OH, i forgot to mention dannys most SINFUL OF SINS last night.

at one moment, he scratches his nose and if you look at his suit jacket, THE LABEL IS STILL ON THE CUFF of his left arm. you know that little sewn on label that identifies the material used in the new suit that is supposed to be cut off?

haha, idiot.

Oh my gaw-
B-side you had me busting up with those captions. I can't wait for you to recap the reunion. Danny and Melinda are so lame. He looked like he had jaundice with that fake bake. I kept trying to adjust my tv color because I thought surely he's not that orange. Lacey rules & Nehemiah calling him out was hilarious. I was hoping they would start throwing down yo. That would have been wicked awesome.

J-Balls- he didn't say he idolizes Ben Affleck he said he thinks he is Ben Affleck.
Which I think is funny, because it's Matt Damon who still has a great career and Ben is just getting by by dating pretty women... wait, maybe he is Ben Affleck...
I laughed so hard when the host mentioned the ring was courtesy of some jeweler, what a joke. I can't believe I wasted any empathy on that loser. And seriously any one who has ever mystic tanned before knows to put some of the lotion on your hands, he looked so ridiculous and his bride did too.

Wow, this was too funny, what a great pick-me-up for the end of the work day. Thank you!!!

hey can you guys post before and after shots of danny's teeth? i need a close up of pre- and post- chiclets!

"jackhammah"? i almost peed myself..

Danny sucks ass. I didn't want to post anything ever, but i must say: Danny Sucks Ass. I want him dead. Also, Rachel, dead. Melinda, dead. Wes, dead. Nehemiah and Lacey may live; they might have souls. And then these Visions of Johanna are now all that reamin...

Did anyone notice that Wes became Danny's bitch and was instructing Neimiah to calm down and discuss everything off camera. Wait...mea culpa. I forgot "off-camera" for Wes means drunk and in front of the camera. Like when he told everyone including the potted plants that he did Wren. He probably just wanted Neimiah to down a shot before he continued

He has to wear hats, or comb his bangs down over his forehead, because his forehead is, like, FRANKENSTEIN massive. He looks like a Klingon. And Melinda must have some serious self-hate issues...the crap she took from him during the show, and now getting engaged with a FREE RING. Does she not know that she's a decent, pretty girl?!? Does she now know that there are men with normal foreheads and money of their own?!? I don't get it! And the lit-from-within teeth, and the Mystic Tan-stained knuckles...it was just pathetic!

nice, your engagement was a product placement.

let's all hope they break up soon before mtv hawks their first year of marriage as the next newlyweds.

A landon christmas calendar?! Dear god say it isn't so.

http://www.sethco.us/graphics/landoncalfront.jpg

"I'm wicked dreamy, yo."

I had tears running down my cheeks!

hahahahah i love the picture of joe. do you remember when he and his freakishly tall girlfriend were on the treadmill together? ahahahahaha

"He looks like a Klingon"

Jen .... that was tooooo funny!

you guy's make me sick. why can't you just say i hope they live happyly ever after, and not talk this shit!!

Concarts Danny and melindia, i hope you our forever happy! (:

Anna, The Svan bets you are fat and live your life through these pathetic individuals. Do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Anna - Danny and Melinda suck and I too think you should go fuck yourself.

Danny's 'strike a pose' looks like gay porn my roomie likes to read. I see underwear and dancing on a box at some club.

your roomie reads gay porn?

um does he know about the internets??

and hey ANNA, is your last name LUCIA?

Wow, Danny is the worst model... ever! Just when I thought I could think any less of that douche-bag, I do. Somehow, I'm glad. I hate you, Danny. I hate you.

Call me crazy...but I like Danny. All the Real Worlders are just kids who are put in to a situation that is set up for failure, drama, and to bring out the worst in everyone from day one.
I could only imagine what people would have thought of me at that age and some of the stuff I said and did.
I love the recaps, some of the best writing ever, but I don't like the hatred.

jenna you probably only like danny because you still feel sorry about what happened to him...besides such a tragedy, he is a complete, not even hot, moron. the guy is basically wasting space and i hate his whole im the hot ish attitude.

and bagging melinda was not big accomplishment, that girl would sleep with anyone who said she was pretty.

B-Side, I am so disapointed that you missed the epi last night. I just knew there was a hilarious recap waiting for me when I got home from work.

Danny definitely went to see Jaimie Foxx's dentist for those chicklet, glow in the dark veneers. It looked to me as if Melinda also got some. All I can say is when your man's teeth bling harder than the engagement ring he gives you, common sense says, just say no, and walk away. Of course that is to much expectation for Melinda's dumb ass. If you cracked her head open, instead of a brain you'd find a tic tac floating on a bed of cotton candy. When she is staring blankly at Danny, I think she is hearing, "On the good ship, lollipop" by Shirley Temple.

Oh. My. Fricken. God. Those captions and pics had me ROLLING yo! Wicked funny, B. I cannot wait for your reunion recap...that was ca-razy. It made me like Lacey, see Neh in a new light, feel sorry for Mel, and despise Danny. GAWD the fake tans and bright-white teeth were killing me!!! I had memories of Ross Geller and his teeth-whitening that went awry. LOL!

Oh the HATRED! How tragic that 99.98% of the population dislike the orangina that is Danny. Get over it Jenna. There are far more tragic things to lament over.

Lucy- He definitely has the Ross Geller thing jumping off. I was thinking that too!

Still laughing my ass off at the pics and Angry Bostonian Model captions.

I love the picture of Joe, but do you remember Joe's girfriend, NIC? She was truly an Amazonian beauty. The beauty that you see after a couple of painkillers and a six pack.

By far the most annoying part of the reunion was Wes pleading with Neimiah to talk about this stuff "off camera." He kept saying shit like that too - Wren only wanted to talk off camera. What the fuck is up with that?

Dear Wes. You are on reality TV. You have been granted 15 minutes of fame and in return YOU ARE ON CAMERA ALL THE TIME. You can't just take the pseudo-fame and run. You also have to get into fights and be humiliated on TV. That's the whole freaking point.

Jen,

Yes! The Frankenstein forehead! For weeks now I have been trying to figure out his cro-magnon brow, and you hit the nail on the head. (True, it would have been hard to miss, but that was priceless!)Thank you!

great recap! your picture captions were effin' hilarious, i love tvgasm!

anyways, did anyone else thought how lame all of his comebacks were? esp. about the one 'working for my father'... homie, you just dissed your dad on national tv with no shame.

def. not the brightest in the bunch.

Wow... that was crazy! I wish it would've been 2 hours instead of 1. It just didn't seem long enough. Most of the time on the reunions, it's like, We're all happy now! But this one was crazy! From this crappy, crappy season, I would've NEVER imagined a reunion this exciting!

A donated ring? Guess Danny's father doesn't pay him much. It looked like a lot of bling but almost too much so it looked a little fake. I would've been pissed if I were Jo, Rachel, or Lacey. I mean, Lacey and Rachel were with their boyfriends before the show started, and they're not even engaged. Jo and Wes weren't dating, but they were kinda messing around. Now it's like America's Sweethearts - Melindanny! Gimme a freakin' break!!!

I totally hated that part of the reunion... C'mon - filming the proposal?! How staged is that?

Can't wait for the recap! B-Side, you MUST recap The Gauntlet 2!

I'll try to have the recap up as soon as possible. I have to do the Amazing Race first though...

Jesus Christ, how the hell did he get those jeans on??? Nice "nut huggahs", Danny.

Yea, those captions for the pictures were great. you had me pissin!

It was so funny when Melinda was describing the proposal. "I was so surprised....I would have been happy with just the flowers..blah blah blah." Yea, Im sure the cameras in your face didn't give it away. It was so pathetic that the producers bought her ring and they so obviously announced it.

I cannot wait for the recap! I've been coming on the site every 10 minutes waiting for it, so I was pleasantly surprised that you still posted something as you wait to catch it. You guys are all ruining it for B-Side. It was soooo good. I kept rewinding it! I think Danny is cute, but someone hit the nail on the head, these totally look like hs pics!

There is a rumor flying around on the interweb that Wes was attacked by a kangaroo in Australia while filming a challenge. Ripped his scalp open and such. I will provide a link if there is any interet.

Interest???

Ahhh-hahahahaaaa.

That picture of Joe cracked me up!!!

Is it wrong that the idea of Wes getting attacked by a kangaroo made me laugh?

http://www.planetsocksinteractive.com/dcforum/DCForumID17/325.html

Check it out.

Well Wes, that's what happens when you try to hump wild animals. What a friggin idiot that guy is.

awesome.
nothing else to say.
simply fuckin' awesome.

kudos.

Hey Danny, Andy Capp called. He wants his hat back.

Hey Danny, Andy Capp called. He'd like his hat back now.

what i watched of the reunion was better than all the of the other shows combined, they should have just turned the whole season into a clip show with the reunion following instead of the whole season...it was definitely painful to look at danny any melinda

does he know he is doing soft core gay porn. That's all who buys from that site.

That story about Wes and the Kangaroo is crazy. Ive always hated him but I still feel bad for him now (that is, if the story is true).

What really bothered me about that was the story said something about a rumor Wes and Lacey had something going on for a short time. Hasn't Lacey been in a serious relationship? Isnt she the one who blasted Rachel about her hookups? I just dont believe that one..

can you even imagine the offspring of wes and lacey? poor things!

b-side....you must do a recap od NIP-TUCK...that show is crazy!!!

Please please please write one....or if you have written one, where is it??!?!

b-side....you must do a recap od NIP-TUCK...that show is crazy!!!

Please please please write one....or if you have written one, where is it??!?!

I'll save most of my comments until tomorrow but I have to say that I feel really bad for Melinda. She's obviously got some real self-image issues. Hearing her apologize on-camera for the non-existant things she did to make Danny angry was just plain said. She needs therapy and he needs to be attacked by a kangaroo.

Speaking of kangaroos, it's a little known fact that they can become enraged at the site of bowl haircuts and mongoloid eye flaps.

HAAHHAHAHA "jackhamma" HAHAHAH

Thank you, 7constanza, for bringing up what my boyfriend and i have been pondering all season---what is up with Danny's horrible headwear? Either it's Oliver Twist wee-brim or the crocheted megabrim that is so precious it even makes it to the "portfolio".
WTF??!!

Wait...it just dawned on me...those hats are to cover up his bulging Cro-Magnon brow. Maybe A.F will design him a special Evolution line.

I have to say -- 73 comments of Danny bashing = awesome.

I wonder if he's reading this. Or any of his cast mates.

B-side, hopefully Mel is reading these and she can pull her head out of jackhammah world and realize what a jerk this guy is, complete control freak! Danny would not be able to understand half of these long words in the postings, or maybe he would have a handy-dandy Ben Affleck Dictionary

Sadly, Danny can't even use a computer... and his castmates would probably agree with us about what a bitch he is. At least since that reunion show. Everybody except Melinda (brainwashed??) had a problem with him!!

What's the deal with the two hats in that one picture? Maybe he is afraid Prince William will wonder on to his photo shoot and put on his short brimmed hat when he isn't looking.

Sadly, Danny can't even use a computer...

HAHAHAHA! You are so right stacyrocks, him and calm-pu-tas just don't get along.

if anyone watches Laguna...tantastic Jen and Danny would make quite the couple!
did anyone notice too in the last episode when Wes confronts Rachel, Mel starts to say Wes took a Midol but Danny gives her the hand gestures to be quite and says "no, don't" what a jerk, like she can't speak unless spoken to,

B-Side - I am flipping you over to my A-Side and putting you on repeat!!! I am at work and my co-workers are wondering why I shot my red bull out of my nose...trying to explain about elbows, chicklets and tammy faye baker tans is a little hard with liquid spurting from my nostrils. I could not stop laughing, snickering,giggling guffawing and snorting while I read those captions,and a couple of times I even had to click back to my "work" so that I could calm myself down. I CANNOT wait for the recap!

Re: Danny and Melinda - two boston baked beans in a podlike tanning bed. two chunks of yellow wisconsin cheddar bites trying to turn BriteWhite.
Re: Nehemiah - that dude had so much potential circa episode 1, but blew it for me when he started taking sucker army punches to Rachel.Maybe he should have been checking out the groupie drawer to find alternate ways to relieve his stress. Or maybe he could just slap Rachel again.
Re:Wes...he's just not that good looking and from the sound of it he's pretty small too. No worries Wes, size doesn't matter. That goes for brain size too...Kangaroos don't care!
Re:Lacey- While she might have a soul, she is a little lousy mousy.I guess if you can't live it yourself the next best thing is fishbowl play by play. Maybe she needs some hobbies? Or consider a job as a sportsannouncer!
Re:Jo - Someone give her a liter of vodka and see what happens with Wes. My bets are that she'll quickly become a raging drunkard and try to beat him up then she'll realize that he's just as drunk and crazy as she is. Oh wait...you guys are both fucking lunatics. Hump away. Hope the condom doesn't fall off where Wes falls short.
Re: Rachel- Bratwurst doesn't seem to be enough.

i wonder who took those pictures.. it was a pro photographer who got a hell of a laugh..or maybe reality-tv cast-offs have one designated photographer who's done so many portfolios that he just doesn't give a shit anymore.

can you IMAGINE if melinda took the pics?
Mel: Danny, could you maybe lower your elbow a bit? it looks a little forced.
Danny:(Glares)Waht? Waht's wrong with my pose, melindah? Why aah you always messin' everything up? It's totally youah fault if these pictures don't come out wicked awesome.
melinda: (aside, to the camera) i don't know why i was so selfish. danny just wants to do the best job possible, i..i just don't know what i was thinking to hurt his feelings so much.

omg, b-side you are wicked hillarious.

danny is such a turd. i have to admit, i'd probably be the first in line to buy jackhammuh though. hehe.

omg this was so hilarious. lmaooooo

I have to say the real world reunion was interesting but yet sad.
1. Danny.. Fake but who isn't surprised. I would get all the girls he rejects. "oh so dreamy"
2.Melinda.. Oh so Gullible to fall for Danny
3.Rachel..I would date her, i love the drama
4.Johanna. I would marry her. But that psychotic drunk attitude has to go
5.Lacy...simple burn in hell
6.Wes...WOW what a burner and im filled with envy with him dating johanna. Good job wes

Danny is good but he's no Zoolander.

Danny is a disgrace to Boston. I can't stand him. I think he and Melinda went into this reunion fully planning on attacking Laci. They showed love to everybody else and with Laci, it was a full force attack. I laughed my butt off when they got caught off guard with an attack from Nehemiah!! :)

Danny does have some talent though, he not only got production to pay Nehemiah's bail, but also managed to get the MTV producers to buy an engagement ring for his girl. Let's give the Ben Affleck Wanna Be But Never Gonna Be, a round of applause!!

Poor Danny. I didn't realize that in addition to his other problems, he apparently has arms that are permanently bent at the elbow. It all looks so gay-porn-ish to me -- but I'm a straight woman so what do I know about gay porn?

By golly. Danny looks like Matthew Settle in the 9th picture (with the comment "Modeling really comes so natural for him...").

But Matthew Settle is totally a million times hotter.

LMAO. That Joe guy... ROFL.

i neeeed update!!

just thought i'd mention it so maybe B-Side will include a pic in his recap...

i dunno if anyone else caught this, but towards the beginning of the reunion, somewhere around the introductions, rachel had this really screwy facial expression...

it was as if someone had walked in on her with the shits: her face was contorted in discomfort and pain, and her eyes were bulging in surprise.

when i saw it, i immediately started laughing hysterically; the first thing that came to mind? "i can't wait to see what they say about this on tvgasm!"

Danny takes a dump

Danny ponders the space-time continuum. And then wonders if he can put a little baseball cap on it.

roflmaoooooooo

I think the squint is actually him looking out for rogue kangaroos.

those pics were hilarious ... but seriously guys i think someone should get melinda out of that relationship b4 danny kicks her ass r kills her. he's way 2 controlling .. prince harry .. need i say more

you KNOW melinda probably DID take these pics
"danny, make your bedroom eyes or that sexy pose you do while we're in bed"
which would of course make melinda his beard
i wonder when we'll find out he's really gay

Excuse me all, I missed this episode and am hoping to catch it during one of the 100000 times it will be re-run over the weekend.
SO PLEASE FILL ME IN: DANNY AND MEL ARE ENGAGED? Whhaaat??? Did they capture the proposal on air?

Second of all, Re: G-dawg #58, that article about Wes may have been the highlight of my year. Is it wrong that I am praying this is true and that it will be televised?
"I know that they're calling in a plastic surgeon, because a large amount of the damage was to his face and scalp"....maybe they can reconstruct his face so that he DOESN'T look like a penis anymore...??

^Haha thats funny.

Yes " Wes has a small penis":

Danny and Melinda got engaged on air, it was so cheesy, plus I think they got the producers to buy the ring which is even worse.

I think Danny thinks those hats are his signatuah look.

I don't think the plastic surgeons should have worked to "save his face." He is one ugly mo-fo to begin with. He needed a major brow lift anyway. That kanga did him a FAVOR!

B-side, please, you are killing us.....need recap!

HEY why do you guys talk so meanly about danny? he i think it was very wrong what you wrote to that girl anna!!! why don't you go fuck you self! why do you feel this absesive need to talk so much shit on people! you guys our just like lacey! hey SVAN you are a low life that needs to get a mind of your own you guys have never meet danny and you do not know how melindia feels! I think the modeling acident was in his contracted for the show! hey svan you our a somo and work at mickdonalds! anyway what is you funking problem with people that our happy with love. you could use alittle in your life. you guys all make me sick and how can you say so much mean things about people you don't even know! so svan i hear you our up for the biggest fuck award of the year, ow no wait your gay! (: go fuck yourself you somo loser!

The Svan is not impressed with your 5th grade grammar. Please seek education immediately and you won't have to be a janitor all your life.

^i only read half of your plea because i simply could not get past the incoherent spelling.

why don't you just let people have their fun? it's not physically harming you, is it? IT'S NOT LIKE EVERY TIME DANNY IS BASHED, A SHORT-BRIMMED HAT GETS BURNED..but that would sure be sweet!

how about you stop coming to the site if comical snark upsets you?
ah, and just to let you know...you "calling people gay" is probably just based on your own insecurity..i'm sniffing out a little regret from the CO-STAR of "Jackhammah" (so obvious it's you, buddy).

is poster #99 Danny? grammer, hot temper....someone quick post that Mel is hot and if he really blows, we will know it is him!

"and how can you say so much mean things about people you don't even know!"

that's funny, I didn't know you knew Svan and all the other Danny bashers...
small world, huh?

what the heck is a somo!?!?

It's a homosexual Sumo. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

hey what challenge is wes supposedly attacked by a kangaroo? because if it's the Gauntlet, wes isn't on that one.
no one from real world austin is on it.

Who ever this girl is in this pic making out with Melinda, she better watch her back, if danny sees this , he is going to track her down and punch her in the face.
http://www.mrdudeman.com/media_pages/melinda_from_real_world_austin_25_is_a_bad_bad_girl..php

I think Mel might be doing stripping to pay for that new house her and Jackhammah purchased since the producers wouldn't buy it for them.
http://www.hedonistica.com/archives/2005/08/melinda_from_re.php

Yup, veronica i think she is a stripper. Check these out everyone.

http://forums.sportsphds.com/viewpost.php?postID=27535

The Wes and kangaroo story is fake, he and Johanna were making personal appearances in the States while he was supposedly in the hospital in Australia.

Got this from a website, thought it was funny. but not as funny as b-side of course! Don't be cray-cray!

Every generation needs a hero to rally around—a ray of light to step forward and guide them through their darkest days of despair, confusion, and malaise. Every generation needs someone to look to as their model—someone maybe just a little bit older who has tasted life and sucked the marrow from its bone. Considering MTV’s average viewer is roughly sixteen years old, it’s obvious that their blueprint has finally arrived in the form of a saggy breasted blonde with serious emotional issues. Teen boys and girls of the reality TV generation, I give you the Real World Austin’s Melinda.

Why is Melinda such a perfect role model? Why should their be Melinda non-action figures in stores by Christmas? What does her portrayal on the show and odd popularity tell us? Let’s see . . .

Over the past few weeks of MTV’s Real World she has managed to demonstrate a complete failure to have anything even resembling a personality. Cynics might say this is very easy in today’s reality TV landscape, but clever editing can usually give someone at least the bare bones of a stereotype to work off. Now, while I’m no fan of stereotypes, at least they’re interesting. Too reserved to be the blonde bombshell, too obvious to be the sex kitten, Melinda resides in that liminal space where actually having a personality would require too much effort.

What the Kids Learn: Mega corporations will deem your life worth documenting even if you have the vocabulary of a fifth grader, the reference-base-depth of Cosmopolitan magazines circa the early 90’s, and are so genuinely boring that the cameras can’t even accidentally make you appear interesting. As a role model, Melinda suggests: don’t bother to cultivate personality folks, your fifteen minutes (the only thing that matters) is still guaranteed . . . as long as . . .

See above picture. Yes, gigantic boobs have quickly become Melinda’s main identifying trait on the show. She also spends half of any given episode in her underwear. While a lesser reality star might do this to demonstrate comfort with their body and subsequently themselves, Melinda is shown doing this solely to showcase how obvious and dopey her male roommates act when she is nearly naked in their vicinity. I can’t think of a reality star who’s career path towards Playboy magazine was more guaranteed (mark my words).

What the Kids Learn: Girls learn that men don’t need personality, because their bodies are still more important than anything. Their sexuality is in no way complex or their own, rather, something quite unclever that is there to make equally vapid males drool on themselves. Large breasts continue to be a good career move—see Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid, and maybe now even Ashley Simpson.

Melinda’s “plotline� largely involves her relationship with fellow roommate Danny, who she hooked up with after approximately 2.5 seconds in his presence. Cause Danny is some superstud? No, no, no, my good friends. First of all, he got his face broken in a street brawl which allowed her to instantly play the tired female role of caretaker. Stereotypical sex roles are perfect scripts to follow when you lack any real identity. He also provided a new boyfriend so she would only have to be alone for approximately 0.0 seconds after she broke up with her old boyfriend over the telephone.

What the Kids Learn: Girls again get the short end of the stick. This chick is so clingy she couldn’t even leave Danny alone for a second after he found out his mother died. Girls learn that being without a man is the scariest thing in the world—maybe second only to the state of being alone itself. The never ending call of cell phones, email, instant messages, and freaking Myspace.com only serve to confirm this fear more.

Quick internet searches easily show that Melinda is the most popular member of this Real World cast, even if it’s amongst people who hate her. Her extreme popularity paired with her failure to really be intriguing in any way (she’s not even that cute people; you’ll find twenty or more Melindas in any club in any major city in the U.S.) is really the only intriguing thing about her (and that has nothing to do with her). Have the teens finally given up? Is the struggle to define yourself just too hard in today’s age? Is actual pain and pathos so messy (something had to make Melinda this clingy) that it can be masked with boobs and a smile, and are boys so desperate for vanilla hotness that they’ll ignore the warning signs of soul-sucking-vapidness just to take a shower with a blonde?

Start weeping for the future folks.

posted by Luther Exterior at 3:32 PM

Very cerebral and interesting point. Enough of that. Here's my marketing idea for the photos.....picture this: Remove Danny's head. Replace with gorilla head. Market as a calender just in time for holiday gift giving! Personally I think they would fly off the shelves.

Veronica--

That was an interesting post. Thanks.

oh my, butt acne....Danny would nevah stand for that from his woman! nevah!

LMAO...the hat thing kills me. He's too short anyway.

so when Danny got surgery on his eye socket--did he spring a few extra bucks to have that hat surgically attached to his head??!!???

Ennis, i almost spit out my drink. LOL

YOu people are verrry funny...but I have to say that Danny was the most REAL in throughout the whole show...He obviously spoke the truth, never talked crap about his roomates, and didn't have ANY one night stands throughout the show--he jumped in2 a real relationship right away...I mean how many 22 yr old men do you know that are THAT mature?? Im not defending him or anything but compared to his other roomates (except Lacy)...he's got some morals N Values...

"JACKHAMMA" and "NUT HUGGAS" holy shit I peed my pants. . .
I'm actually from Boston (but my mom is from NY so my potential accent was cancelled out--thank God)," but you'd think I would get used to this shit by now. It just NEVER gets old when it means poking fun at Danny.