At this point, the reunion special had been decent, if not a bit yawn-worthy. But then things sparked to life when the roommies were faced with the inevitable Lacey gossip montage -- which, by the way, is the best sort of montage. What's so awesome about it (aside from the built-in awkwardness afterwards) is that pretty much everything Lacey says is on-point. And let's be honest. It's not like the other roommates don't gossip. That's all they have to do. It's more like they just gossip in less ostentatious ways. Nevertheless, when Suzie put the blabbermouth on the spot for all her back-talk, Lacey insisted that she's said the same things to people's faces as behind their backs. Plus, Lacey also had a nifty point that she never really made fun of superficial things like physical appearance. It was more like she was simply reacting to the situation behind her. Mmmm... I love rational thought on The Real World. It's like finding a rare diamond. Nehemiah then randomly came to Lacey's defense, saying that she kept it real the whole time. Yeah, that's all fine and good, Neh, but Danny was not about to have it. As the toothy tanned one revved up for a wicked awesome rant, Lacey concluded her defense by saying that everyone's sensitive and no one likes to hear the truth about themselves. WHAT? Danny LOVES hearing the truth about himself! I mean, he took it so well every time Melinda confronted him about anything. You are loco, Lacey!

Anyway, Danny finally lashed out with his patented style of asking dumb, hostile questions: "So is it true that I don't know what real work is? Is that true?" he asked, referring to the clip of Lacey saying that Danny's never had a real job before since he's always worked for his dad.

Danny continued his third-degree of Mystic Tan interrogation by asking, "I don't know what it's like to be out at 13 below zero like on the top of the roof, banging nails while you're sweeping hair?" Oooh! Wicked good point! Way to one-up her without actually addressing the issue! Finally, Danny summed up his case by saying that Lacey has crapped all over him (figuratively -- I hope).

"Then why am I friends with everyone here except you and Melinda? Why?" Lacey asked. Ouch! She got you Danny. Bummah!

"Why should I call you when--" Danny started, but was cut off by the rampaging Lacey:

"You don't call me. You don't call any of us."

Okay Danny. What do you have to say?

"Seriously, what is wrong with you?" he asked, clearly running out of moronic things to say. Eventually, Danny got back on track and accused Lacey of being phony and nice to him in the house, to which Lacey replied that just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you have to be rude to them. Wait? It doesn't? What sort of non-black and white thinking is that? Whatever, Lacey. You're a total idiot. Clearly.

And by the way, I was totally loving this argument.

Danny then said he thought he was really good friends with Lacey, but she balked, "We never talked!" Yes, you did! You said hello and goodbye. Sometimes. Well, Danny would have none of it. "Oh, that's crap, Lacey. Stop playing that card, seriously." Card? What card? The "you walked away from me when I tried to talk to you" card? Huh -- Danny does have a point. Just because he walked away during every conversation doesn't mean that she should act like they weren't best buds.

Way to take the label off, jerk.

With the argument having meandered into all sorts of different areas, Lacey brought everything back to the original accusation, saying that in the clip, she merely meant that Danny working for his dad is not necessarily the same as working for a bad, non-related boss. "Okay, go work for my dad. He'll kick the shit out of you, trust me," Danny sneered, causing the audience to react with shocked "Whoas!" Actually, I don't think the audience did that, but it was nice of MTV to let us think they did.

"Lacey, stop lying," Danny then said at one point.

"Stop being so insecure and yelling at everyone because you can't handle what people say," she replied. Boo-ya!

Just as Danny was about to lay into Lacey again (insecurely, natch), Suzie suddenly spoke up and announced that it was time to go to commercial. "OF COURSE!" snapped an angry Danny, and for once, I was with him on that. What the hell, Suze? This is like the best stuff to happen on this show for weeks, and you gotta stick your curly head into the middle? La La would never have done that!

Sadly, when we returned, the conversation had completely strayed back into stupid boring things like the dumb groupie drawer. Yawn. Nehemiah piped up that the producers never showed him having sex when in fact, he did get lots of booty. As a result, Nehemiah claimed the show made him look like a homosexual. So... do homosexuals not have sex?

Later we learned something interesting from Wes: "Rachel hooked up with every single girl that I hooked up with." Wow, just goes to prove that Wes's girls really do have low standards. To be fair to Rachel though, it's not like she wanted to hook up with all those girls. Wes just had the unfortunate habit of slathering them all in cotton candy ice cream.

Oh, and in other uninteresting news, Wes and Johanna are currently dating. Fantastic.

Posted by B-side on December 3, 2005 8:44 PM