And speaking of gaydar, Janelle's was going off like crazy. Once again proving to be little more than a faithful hag, Janelle quickly pointed out that some guy kept on giving Tyler furtive glances from across the room. This man, it turned out, was named Bobby. Ahem, I mean "Bobby, Tyler's admirer." I'm sure that's on all his business cards too. Anyway, Tyler (who seems to be getting shorter and shorter every episode) waltzed up to his potentially amorous suitor and began flirting with him. This amused John to no end, and in a typically loud and brash way, he walked up to both guys and blared out, "Uh oh! Tyler met a nice young female!" Uh oh. Don't tell Paula! Anyway, this effectively killed the budding romance (looks like John was paying the cockblock forward), and next thing we knew, Tyler told us that he had tossed a drink at John. Of course, we didn't get to see this. Instead, we saw the camera zooming into John's face in slow-motion, which I guess was supposed to represent the shock and awe of a flying libation. We then cut to Tyler whose shirt was covered in liquid as well. Don't these guys know anything? If you're going to hurl cocktails, wait until the camera man is back from the toilet! So frustrating.

Anyway, apparently John threw a drink back in retaliation (maturity oozing all over this scene), and then suddenly we found Tyler marching out of the bar, admirably removing himself from the situation before it got violent. Poor guy. He seemed to be having such a fun time with BOBBY, TYLER'S ADMIRER. But it wasn't meant to be. As we cut to commercial, we then observed Tyler quietly waiting for an elevator to scoop him up, and gosh, in the bright light, we could really see how wet he was. Did John empty a pitcher on him? The guy was soaked.

After the break, we returned to West Palm Beach and more images of stormy weather. Oh, so metaphorical. It's almost like a symbolic Hurricane Rita has been brewing amongst the roommates! I finally get it! Somebody give me a gold star! Well, a few hours had passed since the dreaded Drink Toss Olympics, and now the roommates were all returning to the suite. Everyone seemed to be happy and doing well -- everyone but Tyler. Amazingly, he wasn't gearing up for a full scale catfight -- he reserves those for when Svetlana does something really bad (like breathing). Instead, he quietly told Jose, "I'm not going to compete for attention right now." Well, that's a first. But I won't really rag on him because honestly, he had a right to be mad. He was pissed at John, but in an effort to remain mature and rational, he explained that he was more pissed at himself because he had never really set limits about gay jokes and whatnot. You see, he didn't want to be the sensitive gay guy (no reservations about being the prissy gay guy though).

Well, Zach joined the conversation, and ever the mediator, he told Tyler that if he were to confront John, "I'll always have your back." Pun INTENDED! Grrrrowl! Oh, sorry. I forgot -- now's not the time for gay jokes.

Anyhoo, John then entered the room, and since everyone was clearly talking about him, he exasperatedly said that if Tyler had something to say, please tell him. But no, John. This wasn't about you. This was about Tyler. He was mad at himself, remember? And so Tyler said they would talk -- just not right then. Maybe tomorrow. We then cut to the next morning where we found rescue crews clearing away debris on all the streets. Ah, the symbolism -- so rampant! It's as if Mother Nature consulted with the producers. Somebody get her a credit. Surely I thought this would segue into a Very Special Tyler and John scene, but no. We instead found John talking to Zach and Jose, also known as JewFro and Señor Silent. The three discussed the previous night's activities, with John doing the whole "Next thing I know, there's champagne on me" act. Zach tried to explain where Tyler was coming from, but he spent so much time trying to carefully phrase his words that he sounded more like a corporate supervisor than a friend. As you can imagine, little was accomplished.

We then cut to images of dolphins in the ocean, and... no, sorry... I don't know what it represented. I think MTV just showed the dolphins because they were pretty. Hey, not everything can be imbued with meaning. Anyway, that night, John and Tyler finally had their talk, and at the end of the day because they're fairly reasonable people (at least as far as Real World stars go), the two made up with a minimum amount of drama. They hugged, and John immediately joked, "I think Tyler got an erection." Have you learned nothing, John?? You don't make a gay joke after you've JUST finished an argument about gay jokes. Hey, I said he was reasonable, not sharp.

Posted by B-side on April 27, 2006 5:10 PM