Now that Jose was all take-charge and awesome, Janelle was not happy. She had nothing to harp on! No power trips to take! Sure enough, she was pi-isssed that Jose had gone to the hotels because it totally messed up her master marketing plan, whatever that was. Yes, Jose should have communicated with her, and yes, it does sort of suck to have someone tread on your territory, but seriously, relax bitch. Be happy that you don't have to trek around.

Unfortunately, Janelle wasn't about to drop this without a drama. She announced that she was going to ask "Tasha" about the situation. Who's Tasha? Why, she was the "Key West PR Consultant." I didn't really know what that meant. Did she do PR for the entire island? Or just the Real World cast? Didn't really matter because we never met Tasha nor heard anything about her ever again. And so she shall always remain a mysterious presence -- an ethereal specter that looms over the isle of Key West. If you listen carefully, when the wind blows over the ocean, it says, "Tasha... Tasha..." Or "Lowenstein... Lowenstein..." I forget which.

Anyway, Tasha be damned. Janelle was predicting doom and gloom because of Jose's hapless flyer distribution. "There is a potential for Mystic Tan to be a failure!" she threatened. Well, I'm sure it will be a failure, but not because of the flyers. I like to think of the whole seven-reality-stars-manning-the-shop factor as the biggest setback. You know, maybe if Janelle hadn't tried to co-opt Jose for her marketing team, she wouldn't be dealing with this stupid drama in the first place. Ah, but then that would be no fun.

We then headed back to Tyler and his friends. They were out to dinner, which meant Tyler had a chance to talk about all his roomies (my favorite Tyler hobby). He insisted that Jose was the most level-headed person in the house, and then he cackled at Janelle, saying, "She thought PR meant Personal Relations." Okay, that was pretty funny. Apparently for two or three days, Janelle kept introducing herself to people and saying she was the head of Personal Relations for the salon (cut to me rolling my eyes). Tyler then told us, "Janelle, as pretentious as she is sometimes, she says really stupid things periodically." Wait, so do pretentious people NOT normally say stupid things?

Anyway, after dinner, Tyler and his friends met up with everyone else for a grand ol' night of dancing and drinking and general bacchanalia. Alas, The Real World never shows people just having fun. What sort of reality show would THAT be? We knew this was the setup to some sort of petty drama, and sure enough, we soon found Janelle trying to usher people out of the club and into the car. She kept talking about the gang having to get back to the house -- a production imposed curfew perhaps? -- but since everyone was having so much fun, Janelle seemed unable to gather up the troops. Finally, she got everyone out of the club, and as they walked towards the SUV, Janelle complained, "Do we have to be dramatic 24/7?" Uh, yes, actually. You are on TV.

Well, Svetlana and Jose lagged behind, which gave them the perfect amount of buffer space to talk trash about Janelle. "Janelle: drama center. Instigator. Plain and simple. In-stigator," Svetlana said, again providing another kettle-teapot moment of brilliance.

Nevertheless, with Svetlana and Jose taking entirely too long with their slightly slower pace, Janelle freaked out and yelled, "What the fuck are you guys doing? C'MON!!!" This coming from the girl who was just complaining about 24/7 drama. Well, Jose finally had had enough of Janelle's not-drama, and he barked back, "Can you hold up and wait while we walk at our pace? And that's it, yo. I'm over your shit, yo. Stop. Please." It was quite awesome, but Jose should no better. NOOOBODY (me swiveling my head, finger pointing upwards) yells at JANELLE!

"Don't talk to me like that!" she replied.

"Who do you think you are? You think you run shit?" Jose sassed back. To be fair, Janelle does run shit. She's the head of Personal Relations. Anyway, Jose continued: "Stop! I'll talk the way y'all want to talk! ...You are nobody to me!"

Again, Janelle countered with, "Don't talk to me like that!" To which Jose replied again, "You are nobody; so stop!" The two barked at each other some more, with Janelle getting in Jose's face and pointing her finger, but no matter how hard she tried to give him the "I AM JANELLE, HEAR ME ROAR!" face, Jose just kept on ranting. "We are all equal in the house... but the way you walk around the house with your nose in the air does not mean anything!" I think he was trying to say that she shouldn't act above everyone. Don't worry. I brought my Drunk-To-English translator.

We then went to commercial break, and when we returned, the roommates were all back at the house, trying to pretend that the whole fight had never happened. Actually, it wasn't so much that. It was more like they were just ignoring Janelle and her stupid anger. "Do not try to force any conversation between me and him on because he has burnt a bridge," she seethed. "So tomorrow, when his ass is apologizing, you better believe you're going to see the fuckin' ugliest side of me you've ever fucking seen because I haven't shown you stuck-up yet!" So I take it that glaring attitude you've had all season has merely been "sugar and spice?"

Tyler then chimed in and told us, "Janelle has this mentality that she thinks she is Mariah Carey or Beyoncé without the actual talent." Was he insinuating that Janelle has no talent? But she works at Sephora! Of course she has talent!!

Posted by B-side on May 30, 2006 2:00 PM