I am going to skip the formalities and go right to what's important. That is, of course, the issues the girls have simply coexisting in the same domicile. True happiness begins in the home. When you achieve peace in the home, you can then achieve peace in life, or at least have a better chance at winning free shit on a reality show. The men have a nice, boring, existence, where the pecking order is well known. Performance is what keeps you in the game. Well, your performance, and whether or not you choose to spend the episodes with a jump rope tied around your head. As Sophia describe the women "it's not what you do, but how many people are on your side".

Actually, it's not so much how many people you have on your side as how many people named Coral you have on your side. If you are in Coral's clique, you have a pretty good shot at sticking around, if not, the odds are against you. How do you get in Coral's clique? Well, I have no information to back it up, but I am guessing that you must live in LA and prove your loyalty in various rituals such as blood letting and virgin sacrifice. Currently, Coral's main crew consists of Tonya and Veronica, with Rachel ceremoniously shown the door in an earlier episode. Apparently, Sophia is trying to stay on Coral's good side, because Coral spends the first few minutes of the show explaining how Sophia likes to kiss her ass. Later, she went on to talk about how Ruthie likes to talk when she is drunk, and how she gets all spiritual and tells Coral how much power she has. Conveniently (thanks camera man!), Ruthie is awake and walks in on Coral telling the story to Veronica and Tonya. She then tries to save herself by saying that when she was talking behind Ruthie's back, she was making a compliment. Oh, that's right.

We finally get our first shot of Santa Fe(other than the one club everybody goes to at night), and frankly, it kind of sucks. But then again, any time your population seems fifty percent washed up reality stars, things are going to look bad. That's why I don't go to the Saddle Ranch on Sunset. Some of our contestants were interrupted from their day on the town to learn that they had to be prepared for their next mission - they were going to need socks for insulation. No, they weren't going to be subjecting themselves to extreme temperatures, they were preparing to be shocked! Shocked, I tell you.

Although perhaps the easiest word they could have had to make up a funny title, the name of the challenge was simply Electroshock. It required each team balance an aluminum pole through a up and down zig zag pattern on a huge board. The poles were heavy, and the teams had to be a minimum distance from board. The space to slide the pole was only a couple of inches wider than the pole itself, meaning it would take great precision to make it through. To make things interesting, if the side of the pole touched an edge of the pattern, the team would be subjected to a shock of 1000 VOLTS!!! OK, they tried to make it seem really scary, but 1000 volts is not a lot folks. Typical stun guns come in at about 150,000 volts, and they aren't lethal. Although I was laughed at mercilessly by madeyoulaugh and B-side for bringing it up, I am proud to say I remember my AP Physics. The amperage is what's dangerous, not the volts. It's the current stupid!

Posted by J-Unit on December 7, 2004 11:30 AM