Inferno 3:16 - 
by J-Unit
OK, so much for all of my talk about being less tardy with the Real World/Road Rules Challenge (although I am really going to try to be better in the coming weeks). It turns out that the Inferno 2 is shaping up to be among the more interesting reunion seasons. So many of these people have turned Bunim/Murray appearances into a career that splitting the cast by sex or by season had become a little too boring. Eventually, the quality of the season will come down to the tasks and competitions, but the Good Guys vs. Bad Asses, while sort of dumb when you hear it, seems to have spawned some newfound rivalry and intensity among our cast, at least in the edited versions we get to see each week. Last week, the Good Guys lost, Mike and Dan were nominated for the Inferno, leaving us all in suspense (don't everybody laugh at once) to see if they could save themselves, or which one of them would be eliminated.
I am no saint, and I think it is pointless to legislate any sort of morality when it comes to alcohol or drug use, but I continue to notice just how much alcohol they provide for these people on the challenges. Yes, I realize that if Bunim/Murray didn't provide them with booze, the first thing they would probably do is buy their own stash, but eventually something big is going to happen. You would think that the promise of thousands of dollars and a free trip to Mexico would be enough to get people to say yes to an invitation to a challenge, but I guess people want more. Money, travel, and reality star celebrity is not enough, you see. There needs to be something else, and that something else is semi-anonymous sex you will be sort of ashamed of afterwards.
But wherever you have a have a bunch of people being promiscuous, you have to have at least a couple of people looking down upon them. We also call these people "married". They would be Julie and Jon, two of the Good Guys. As an added bonus, they also both love Jesus, which means plenty of extra self-righteousness to go around. Jon is also old, so he pulls off an amazing triple-threat of buzz kill. So when you see Landon and Derrick wrestling and acting like idiots, you can rest easy that Jon and Julie are around to represent God and love. They are outnumbered, but they believe.
I believe that last week when the Miz realized he was going into the Inferno, he acted tough and like he was ready for it, but you know that he didn't like the idea of another early exit. He thought he was robbed in Battle of the Sexes 2, lost out on Tough Enough. Without the exposure of the Inferno 2, you wonder if his merchandising would fall off completely. The Mizfits don't like a loser. As for Dan, he is a bad ass and can't be intimidated. If he can save himself, fine, but if not, he and his bad ass pink shirt will take on all challengers.
Mike and Dan had a chance to save themselves in this week's competition, "Juice It Up". No, the object of the game was not to take steroids for years and participate in a home run derby, it was much more elaborate. Each person on the team would have to grab some fruit off of a rope and then fill up a cup. Although they would be competing head to head, the game was being scored on cumulative times. Oh, and did I mention that they had to do all of this on stilts?
Yes, you heard me right. The contestants would strap on stilts, run to grab the fruit, then run back and fill their cups full of juice. Did I mention that they were on stilts? And these stilts are some sort of new stilt technology that I haven't seen before. Granted, I haven't been following all of the advances in stilt technology over the years, but these stilts were pretty advanced. You basically strap them onto your shoes, and you are good to go.
In the early going, it was all Good Guys. They were running back and forth and built up a huge lead against the Bad Asses. Although there were spotters ready to pick anybody up who fell over, it still cost you a lot of time if you weren't able to stay on your feet, or stilts in this case. I thought that this would be a perfect opportunity to make fun of Jon. He is easily the most portly of our current group, and it seemed like I would have an easy set up for some "the bigger they are the harder they fall type jokes". Instead, Jon completely exceeded my expectations by posting the fastest time of anybody after he was done.
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