You could make the argument that I should root for Tonya because she was also hated by her team, and especially the three evil lesbians - Rachel, Veronica, and Tina. The level to which they despise Tonya is pretty high. Not content to make fun of her during the challenges for her poor performance, they decided that they had to mock her away from the competitions as well. Their latest complaint? They were upset because they thought Tonya masturbated too much and it was keeping them from sleeping.

I don't think they were upset about the masturbating as much as they were upset that Tonya might be imagining a man is touching her, and not the sapphic caresses of another woman. But think about that for a minute: if you were a lesbian and the only single woman around was Tina, wouldn't you look to alternatives? Shit, if you were a guy and Tina was the only single woman around you would look for alternatives, unless you're a pasty white whale, and then you can count on Darrell having a boner for you.

Anyway, Tonya denied it all, and Veronica said she would videotape her sleeping if that's what it took. Tonya called that an invasion of her privacy, and there was a little bit of a shouting match before she decided to just leave the room altogether and try alternative sleeping arrangements. But no, it was still not good enough for team TVR, which stands for Tina, Veronica and Rachel, or Totally Vacuous Rugmunchers, whichever is easiest. They followed her into the other bedroom and continued to harass her. What was particularly annoying was when Rachel said that it only looked like they were ganging up on Tonya, and that she brought it upon herself. In the following chapter of her tome "Groups That Bring Punishment Upon Themselves," Rachel discusses slaves, gays, and the Jews. Seriously though, Tonya is annoying, and she knows how to pick a fight, but for Rachel to try and pass their behavior off as anything besides the childish, pre-school antics that they really are only makes them seem like idiots. Or bigger idiots, in this case. And what's the big deal with her diddling herself? She was probably thinking it was better than catching an STD or five from one of her castmates.

Watch out for those hairy palms Tonya...

I thought this week's challenge was very unique. It was entitled "Heart Rate Bungee" and it involved your heart rate and a, uh, bungee. Teams would go in pairs of their choice, and be suspended 125 ft. in the air. When both of their heart rates fell below 100, they would be dropped from the platform. The team with the quickest average time to drop would win, and the player with the lowest recorded heart rate on their team would win the life shield. Because both teams had odd numbers of players, one person would have to go twice, and only the heart rate from their first attempt would count in the life shield standings.

Since there was going to be an Inferno without any separate reward competition, the teams were forced into choosing the inferno participants before the competition. The Good Guys basically left it up to the two girls who were left, and Shavonda and Jamie both wanted to go up against Tonya. Both of them felt much more confident competing against her.

The Bad Asses had to have huge drama, of course. TVR wants to send Shavonda in because they know Jamie is a better competitor. The guys, however, are starting to think strategy. Now that they are all assured of a place in the final competition, they are starting to think "maybe it would be easier if we took out their best girl," which is Jamie, and "if we lose a person, that just means we split the prize with fewer people." This upset the girls, because they knew the guys had nothing to lose, but could be the deciding factor, especially since it looked like Tonya might be the swing vote. Of course, this led to a big argument, which was bound to rage on before Abe called a truce and said he would support the girls' decision with Shavonda, but not because they actually cared about their teammates. No, they were just worried the girls would give up in the final challenge if they weren't kept happy, because, you know, the girls would spite the guys that way and lose out on a chance at 35 or 40 thousand dollars.

The truce worked, and the Bad Asses nominated Shavonda, who promptly nominated Tonya, who promptly noticed that her team didn't look at all bothered that the other team tried to take her out. As for Shavonda, she said that it would be OK with her if she went to the Inferno. She was the team's weakest player, and she didn't want Jamie to go if it would mean her team would lose next week. God, this whole "team" thing works sometimes. Look what you can do if you work together.

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Posted by J-Unit on June 14, 2005 1:02 AM