The show began with the all too common sight of Randy and Kina talking sweetly to each other. These two have rapidly become one of the more annoying couples to emerge from the Real World/Road Rules pantheon, mostly because they don't seem to do anything except coo in each other's ears and cuddle. Anyway, Randy praised his girlfriend, saying, "You're doing a great job as a leader." And by "great job," he surely was referencing the Burn Cara At The Stakes Witch Hunt she stirred up a few weeks ago. Honestly, I wasn't exactly sure how anyone in the Captain position could really be classified as a great leader. It's not like the captains do much beyond complain at the top of every show, "My ass is on the line!"

Sure enough, that's exactly what Kina did as she once again noted how she had to fight for her Gauntlet life and didn't want to be separated from Randy and how she'd come so far and blah blah blah SHUT UP. I really was hoping a random frying pan might fall on her head, but alas, Kina remained unscathed. "Wouldn't it be horrible if I had to go home? The last girl Gauntlet," she marveled. I don't think it would be horrible. I think it'd be hilarious.

Preparing for a worst case scenario, Randy and Kina analyzed all the Gauntlet options should she be forced to go back in. On the one hand, there was Jillian, who'd be no trouble for Kina in an event like Reverse Tug O' War. On the other hand, there was Ibis who might pose a significant challenge. Why? "Because of the weight," Kina said.

"And 'cause you're friends," Randy added. Ha! Kina pulled the fat card before the friend card. Some friend YOU are, KINA!

While Randy and Kina continued to exchange eskimo kisses and general nauseating behavior, we headed down to the kitchen where Julie was reading TJ's clue to the next challenge. "This picture perfect challenge will blindside you," Julie read. Hmmm... What could that mean? Were the producers going to singe all the kids' eyes out and then take Polaroids? That's just cruel, MTV. (But we won't stop you.)

The next morning, the teams filed into their usual spot at the Port of Trinidad where they found those staples of the Challenge: hanging platforms and metal rafters. Surely this was a bad omen, especially for Ibis, who's never been known for her high altitude prowess:

Anyway, the teams soon became acquainted with "Blind Trust," this week's overly elaborate, highly convoluted exercise. Basically, each member of the team had to cross a balance beam, grabbing two hanging photos along the way. One catch: whoever was on the balance beam would be blindfolded. Oh, actually, second catch: the balance beam had all sorts of little obstacles on it (blocks, ramps etc.). If that wasn't hard enough, each person had ten minutes to cross, grab the photos, and stick them onto a little wall. If the person proved to have poor equilibrium and fell off the beam (I'm looking at you, Ibis), then the turn would be over and that contestant would be charged the full ten minutes of their turn. There were some other nitty gritty details, but honestly, does anyone even care? I didn't think so (funny how I ask that question every week).

Up first for the Rookies was Ibis, who fortunately was allowed to cross the beam sans blindfold (the first person for each team had that luxury). Even without any visual impairments, I still expected Ibis to plummet to a watery elimination, but she actually did a fine job, completing her task in just over a minute. On top of that, she did a pretty good job guiding a blindfolded Randy across the beam too. Maybe there was hope yet for Ibby. Eh, probably not.

After Randy was done crossing, he became the "coach," and he led wee Jillian to the photos she needed to pluck from the ropes. Sadly, because Jillian seems to have no arm muscles whatsoever, she could barely remove the photos from their attachments. Just pull, dammit. Jillian did eventually harness the inner power to remove the pictures, and by the grace of the Challenge gods, made to the destination platform in one piece. You'd think those photo snafus would be Jillian's low point of the day, but no, she had more ineptitude to share. Alton was up next, and even though I thought he'd just scamper across the beam in about .03 seconds, he actually had difficulties. That was because Jillian's directions seemed to be something like "Um. Uh." followed by long stretches of silence. This prompted Superman to repeatedly say, "Talk to me, Jill. Talk to me, Jill." You'd think his simple request would be one that she could answer, but no, Jillian was a veritable mute. "Talk to me, Jill. Talk to me, Jill."

"Talk to me, Jill. Talk to me, Jill."

"Talk to me, Jill. Talk to me, Jill."

For crying out loud, TALK TO HIM, JILL!!

Posted by B-side on March 15, 2006 11:57 AM