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Balance of Power - TVgasm

by B-side

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Anyway, at the team meeting, Kina decided to take Jillian to the Guantlet (a choice that was happily underscored with an ominous thunderclap). Yes, Ibis was spared and therefore guaranteed a spot in the final challenge. Enjoy dragging her uncoordinated ass around Rookies. I found it highly entertaining that after all of Kina's sanctimonious bullshit about doing what's best for the team, she ultimately made a decision on what was best for herself. And let's not overlook the implicit cronyism involved as well. Kind of hypocritical behavior for the girl who railroaded Cara off the show because of her alleged self-interests.

Well, Jillian looked like she was about to cry. I'm sure she hadn't been this upset since the time she realized her one-night stand on Road Rules made her look like a ginormous slut to America. Nevertheless, she bravely kept her composure as TJ spun the wheel of fate, and guess what? We had a new Gauntlet competition. Thank god. If I had to see Name That Coconut or Beach Brawl one more time, I would have flung my TV out on the street (not really. I would never do that to my beloved TV. I'd probably throw a sock instead). Anyway, the new event was "Sticky Situation," something that I'm sure many of these cast members had been in over the past few weeks. I didn't know what this challenge would be, but I just assumed it had to do with syrup and sexual positions.

Actually, "Sticky Situation," was rather tame. Basically, it was a game of speed, agility, and velcro. There was a large hanging wall, and on it were various velcro circles. Players had to stick three little balls to three different circles. But of course, it's never as easy as that. For each round of this game, there'd be an offender (or as TJ called it, "an off-ender") and a defender. The defender had to stay in a specific box -- a crease, if you will -- and the offender had to get by and post her ball. If the two wound up wrestling on the ground for two seconds, TJ would intervene and each player would switch positions. Basically, this was like a really lame version of an American Gladiators event.

As team captain, Kina was allowed to pick which position she wanted first, and unsurprisingly, she opted for off-ender. But that's okay. Jillian was totally psyched about being the defender. "Definitely looking forward to playing defense," she said, "It's one of my specialties." Little known fact: Jillian is actually the defensive captain of the Coral Gables Sticky Situation Varsity team. All-State, Florida.

Defense may have been Jillian's specialty, but that didn't mean she was actually any good at it. Kina quickly steamrolled over her to get an easy point. The girls then switched positions, and Jillian too managed to earn a point; although, Kina did manage to knock her down in the process.

"She's down! She's down!" Kina protested in her typically annoying way, but TJ vetoed her, saying Jillian had to be down for two seconds. Well, Kina then returned to offense where again she powered her way to another point. I suppose this was super exciting for all the spectators because Robin told us, "This Gauntlet's like watching two female gladiators go at it." Yes, well, that's assuming gladiators play with velcro balls.

gauntlet.3-15-06.d

Jillian then tried to earn her second point, but Kina honed her inner Jersey pit bull and tackled the tiny girl, thus ending the turn. Well, you can imagine how this wound up. Jillian continued to be absolutely useless on defense, and Kina easily won her third and final point. Dammit. It's official: Kina's here to stay. After some hugs with TJ, Kina then went down to the ocean where she said she just wanted to cry: "It's been so hard on me! And it's been so hard on Randy!" Oh, be quiet. It's not like you've been toiling around Baghdad. Get over yourself and stop acting like a victim.

As the show came to a close, an unhappy Jillian left the house with a bitter chip on her shoulder. Understandable, really. MJ then told us that he wanted Kina to carry Ibis to the finish line. "I will be one mad redneck if we sit here and lose it because of Ibis." I will be one mad non-redneck if I have to sit here and look at your stupid hair, MJ.

Personally, I'm totally rooting for the Veterans now. I'd been pro-Rookie all season, but now I just want them to fail, and all because of Ibis. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the producers are setting us up for some annoying Ibis/Kina redemption, and if that happens, I'll be really annoyed. Wow, look at how bitter and angry I've become. It's almost like I've turned into the Kina of TVgasm. This can't be good. Think happy thoughts... Think happy thoughts...

What did you think about this episode? Did Kina pick the right person to take into the Gauntlet?


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Posted by B-side on March 15, 2006 11:57 AM

Comments

I honestly don't think Ibis is that bad, maybe not in the same physical shape as the other pixie stick girls, but not that bad.
I still hope the Rookies win, the Veterans are just too boring for me to root for.

Posted by: Ash [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 12:24 PM(#1 of 21)

Kina seemed real cool on road rules. That was long ago. Now she seems like a good candidiate for throbbing vein in forehead while screaming. and scowling. and waving her finger while shaking her head. She's kinda like ana-lucia on Lost.

Posted by: Leah3t [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 1:14 PM(#2 of 21)

I think Ibis is a giant lame-o

and Kina didnt even want to be team captain remember, she got it when crazy jo quit.

i really really hate Kina, and i think for the next challenge they shouldnt have everyone from the same season.

TJ makes me want to run head first into a wall, i like johnny mosely.

Posted by: Court_Love [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 1:20 PM(#3 of 21)

did anyone else notice Robin's shirt falling off while the Veterans were celebrating? hilarious.

Posted by: rebridinghood [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 1:49 PM(#4 of 21)

I'm still rooting for the Rookies but it's not to see Kina get money in her pockets. She is fucking nuts.

*Does anyone remember what's usually in the challenge's timeslot on MTV when it's not ''challenge season''? Was it Laguna Beach or what?

Posted by: stacyrocks [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 1:52 PM(#5 of 21)

MORE f@#king KIna! damn that girl is annoying. i used to like "big rand". i have rethink that. kina is a drag.

Posted by: heehaw [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 1:58 PM(#6 of 21)

TJ does really blow. I bet they have to do many takes for him to get it reasonably correct.

I wanted to reach thru the TV and punch Kina in the face. I did enjoy her meltdown, but it did look staged to me. Kina also looks like she may be transgendered, she looks very masculine to me. I think an analysis is in order...

Ibis is a waste. And don't get my started on that vile dirtbag Julie.

I had no idea who Jillian even was, or if she was on the team to begin with, she didn't get much screen time at all?

KH

Posted by: KatiesHole [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 2:17 PM(#7 of 21)

yeah you know its the captain that say 'my ass is on the line' but its everyone else in every friggen episode(especially brad) who say 'my head is on the chopping block' i dont know why but its sooo obnoxious. and i was hoping that in the end kina and randy would be seperated but then again we always have next week b/c thats the last guys gauntlet. and im pullin for the rookies to win.

Posted by: laceykately [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 2:31 PM(#8 of 21)

Svan

Of course TAR Family Edition was the worst reality show as far as season long challenges - does the big chair ring any bells???

Posted by: auntieboo [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 2:42 PM(#9 of 21)

Oh, Kina, you drama queen! Could you see her working a regular office job? "I'm so annoyed, they sent me the PINK Post-It's instead of the YELLOW! Why would they do that to me? Are they plotting against me? I'm so annoyed I could cry! The horror, the horror!" Hey guess what Kina, this is a game! This still is NOT reality and definitely NOT the real world.

TJ blows, he is the epitome of all dumb jocks. At least I gave him some cred on the whole Beth thing until I read he had to retake that scene 3 times, unless Beth lied about that. (Beth? Lie?)

Before MJ goes off on Ibis, he should at least remember he's blown it a couple of times too, & I'm not talking about Landon. He jumped off the platform a couple of weeks ago & got DQ'd.

I"m surprised Robin's girls haven't popped up more often. So what, are her & MArk together again or just fuck-buddies? Oh God, why do I even care?

Posted by: tvaholic [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 2:46 PM(#10 of 21)

TJ mocking Robin for not knowing her left from her right was the best part of this episode.

Posted by: clashmore [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 5:40 PM(#11 of 21)

Thanks rebridinghood, I was wondering what the blur was for.

Posted by: mo_knows [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 6:30 PM(#12 of 21)

Did anyone catch that 8th and ocean show that was on last night? that was actually pretty entertaining.

Posted by: Leah3t [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 7:01 PM(#13 of 21)

Awww poor Kina. Being a leader is the "bain of my existence." You fucktard.

I noticed the fuzzy booby shot of Robin also.

As boring as they have become, especially Katie whose behavior would make her eligible to join a convent at this point, I gotta root for the Vets. The rookies are just much more boring. The only interesting thing about their whole team is Alton's hot bod.

Posted by: Keyser Soze [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 7:20 PM(#14 of 21)

great recap, frickin hilarious, saying you do not like kina would be understatement. "Anyone have a baseball bat? Or how about some chloroform? We need to knock this bitch out." -best line. i hope the final eps. are good, this season has been a drag and im a huge fan of the challenges. i still like the first gaunlet.

Posted by: sloppyseconds [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 7:25 PM(#15 of 21)

I used to love the challenges. They used to have real shit happen between people as opposed to this nonsensical bullshit people like Kina and Brad come up with to get camera time.

They used to have *almost* dangerous challenges where people would freak out for reals because there was a slim chance they may actually have died.

The challenges this season are just stupid and boring and the red and blue color scheme is driving me up the wall.

The worst part of it all is that they are, or were, constantly drunk, no doubt to stir up trouble. I remember way back when they did a challenge and they were staying at the Playboy mansion for some reason and Montana made a super bitchy comment about how one of the Playmates was surprisingly smart and you could see how she felt insecure about herself around those women and blah blah blah.

To the point, you could see a real issue as opposed to a bunch of drunkards stopping buses because they are yelling nonsense about past flings. MARK. Or just being drunk and yelling at each other for no reason. DEREK and BRAD. Or starting shit for no reason. BETH (although Beth was incredibly fun to watch).

The best bitch ever was Veronica. She really didn't seem to give a shit about screen time, she was just being her bitchy self. She didn't start a lot of nonsense, she just finished it.

Anyway, I hope the Veterans win.

Posted by: PixieGal [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 15, 2006 10:21 PM(#16 of 21)

I hate Kina...in the beginning I too was rooting for the rookies, but now i want the Vets to win or the very least for Randy to go home next challenge just to make Kina sad.

Lea3t: I definatelly watched 8th and Ocean .. i agree very entertaining .. sortoff have a girly boner for Britt (except for that whole models for christ thing) and i think im in love with Vinci (his large ego makes me want him even more)

Posted by: D-Hoffs [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 16, 2006 8:59 AM(#17 of 21)

anyone else notice Kina's boob fall out of her shirt when she was wrestling on the floor w/ jillian?

Posted by: AL [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 16, 2006 9:27 AM(#18 of 21)

haha i did a nice slow-mo over and over again to see how her shirt fell down lol, i thought for sure it would be mentioned, i also watched davids eyes as it was happening lol good times good times... go vets!

Posted by: G [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 16, 2006 10:08 AM(#19 of 21)

Svan,
I'd have to go with that Tommy Hilfiger show...was it "The Cut?"

Posted by: bluesmith [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 16, 2006 10:56 AM(#20 of 21)

Ibis sucks...

Kina is an idiot...she thought she was doing what's best for herself but in all actuality she wasnt...think about it, if she chose Ibis, she wouldve beat her and they'd have a strong team in the final mission...even if Ibis beat her and they won she could share Randy's dough since they are "so in love" lol

She's dumb

Posted by: Yanaja [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 25, 2006 5:09 PM(#21 of 21)