Meat Market? I'm Sold! - 
by J-Unit
We all expected the people from the Austin cast were going to suck, and they did not disappoint. Wes is talking about how much he loves Johanna. I wish that he had instead taken a look at his website and perhaps fallen in love with some grammar and common sense. But what about Melinda? We can always count on her to say something moving and profound, like "It's like I'm on a vacation with Danny." Let's see, you fly to a foreign country with your significant other and are being paid to be there. I know Theo called it his job, but for the rest of us, that is EXACTLY what a vacation is. I could have used a vacation myself, perhaps from Danny and his stupid hats.
You were probably as THRILLED as I was to hear that the people from the Austin cast were being targeted early in the game. It was hilarious to watch Wes and Danny act like they own the place, but it was even better to watch a professional get it done. Danny read the first clue out loud, and he finished it off by saying you had to stand tall withy our partner, but since he is from Boston and hardcore, it sounded more like paahhhhhtnuh. Immediately, Coral called him out for having such a stupid accent.
You see, this is also the first Challenge for everybody from the Austin cast, and the rest of the Alums weren't going to let them into the inner circle any quicker than the so-called "Fresh Meat". So when Wes, who showed up with a mohawk that really enhances both his pasty complexion and his intellect, tells his partner Casey that she should stay away from "anybody you saw in middle school", it's great to see that he is saying it without realizing the wonderful irony in that statement. I might have thought Ev was naive for saying things like "this isn't the smartest bunch of people", "I'll be calling the shots", and "things will work out the way I want them to", but Wes was just BEGGING for a reality check.
So the first challenge came up, and it was OK, but the drama really doesn't come with who finishes first, but rather who has to worry about going home. The challenge took place on the "tallest residential building in the world", although a simple Google search tells me that I didn't have to use quotes around that statement. Each team would be strapped to each other, back to back, walk 25 ft on a wooden platform off the side of the building, do a 360-degree turn, and then come back. The team with the fastest time would be immune from "Exile", which is like the Inferno or Gauntlet.
For some reason, this challenge reminded me of The Amazing Race
Although they tried to make this task seem really scary with people talking about how they "feared for their lives" or "couldn't imagine doing this with somebody they have just met and don't trust", not to mention Casey who said she might pee herself, the big drama was with the order in which the teams had to complete their task. Despite what some people say, having strategy is a big part of this game, but seeing as most of the people on this challenge couldn't find their own asses using both hands, the only real strategy you see is "try not to be first and watch what everybody else is doing".
Coral and Evan won the luck of the draw and got to pick first for this game. Since everybody wants the Austin kids to suffer, Coral and Evan put Danny, Wes, Johanna, and Melinda near the front. There wasn't a lot of wind and the platform was pretty wide, so a lot of teams appeared to have really quick runs.
In the end, it was Coral and Evan who came out on top. Evan really is a beast and he will be tough to beat physically, especially when Coral is playing the mental game. As winners, they got to pick the first team sent into Exile, and they chose Wes and Casey. It was a real blow to Wes, but he had a master plan. The rest of the teams would be voting for the second team to go into Exile, and as long as Wes was going up against somebody weaker than him, he would have a good shot.
Time for some strategery, don't you think?
Wes' master plan was to go against Shane because, you know, gay people are weaker and guys with mohawks can never be wrong. But picking on Shane because his wrist was a little limp was not going to be enough for Wes, even if he got all of his friends to vote for Shane and Linnette, he was going to need a few more votes to protect himself. He needs to make a deal with somebody trustworthy and won't go behind his back. Hmmm. Who could that be? Of course!
TONYA!
Stupid Wes, he made a deal with Tonya. He told her to vote Shane or else they would come after her. She gave her word, but even Danny was smart enough to know that a promise from Tonya isn't worth that crisp one dollar bill Johnny Fairplay uses to do lines off of her cooter. Wes slaps his head in disgust, and moments later, Tonya is letting everybody know about his master plan.
I felt bad for Tonya for like two minutes when she started talking about how she doesn't want the game to be about manipulation and lying. She probably thought that with new partners and a whole bunch of new characters she might actually have a chance at getting off to a new start. But this is the Challenge, and we don't pay to see fair, so I am not sure who she is kidding.
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