This week's episode began on a friendly note as all the girls sported wigs as a show of support for Diem, the recovering cancer patient who has wisely decided to spend her post-chemo time wrestling on gangplanks and falling off rope ladders. Even though she looked just fine without a wig, Diem apparently still felt insecure about her appearance, but if there was anyone to lift her from the Samantha Morton doldrums, it was CT. The Boston bonehead happily donned a long, blond wig, which was an improvement over his usual finger-in-socket coif. This slapdash version of Wigstock then came to a rousing climax as everyone gathered together for a picture -- the perfect opportunity for Kina to try out her new Supermodel face. Needless to say, she'd be lucky to get her mug in Teaneck Weekly.

"Oh my gawwwd. I'm a mawdel!"

Kina's still honing the art of the gag photo.

Later, CT suggested that he was getting a wicked hard-on for Diem, especially as he described his intent to raise her spirits. "I try to make her feel like the sexy woman she is," he said, adding, "Maybe someday, we can go to a wicked awesome Red Sawx game and then drive around in my cahh." Luckily for CT, it seemed like the attraction was mutual. A giggling Diem told us that CT resembled a Calvin Klein model, which would make sense if Calvin Klein models had awful, awful hair. But I digress...

Elsewhere in the house, Beth tried to lure Svetlana into the misfit alliance (which already consisted of Beth, Aneesa, Wes, and Nehemiah). The Queen Bee promised Svetty protection in the next pick 'em, saying, "If I won, I vote for Wes, Wes would vote for Aneesa, Aneesa would vote for Nehemiah, since I'm already done, Nehemiah would vote for you!" Oh, so is that how that would work? I thought Nehemiah would pick Beth again! Thank goodness she cleared that up! Nevertheless, it seemed like Svetlana was down with the plan, causing Beth to tell us, "I've got the whole plan down to a science." Yes, but one can never overlook human error and idiocy. I wouldn't put it past Wes to accidentally pick Kina. D'oh!

Speaking of Kina, she was not happy with Beth's latest alliance. "Robin, Jodi, myself, and Diem all basically have flags on our heads," she said, happily misusing the word "myself," let alone "flags." What exactly did she mean by that? Flags? Were they all representing different countries at the United Nations? Of course, I'm sure when she said "flags," she meant "targets" or "bullseyes" or "SERIOUSLY, I AM A HUGE IDIOT."

Anyway, the next day, the gang all headed out to the ocean where a large contraption hung over the water. What could this be? The clue had eluded to heights and jumping, but before we could learn any details, Casey expressed extreme concern that this might be just too much for her, and on that random note, we went to commercial. HEAVENS NO! WHAT EVER WILL CASEY DO???

When we returned, TJ happily told us that there were two platforms suspended over the ocean. Each person would have to jump back and forth between them, grabbing as many flags (which were stuck on nearby posts) as possible in three minutes. However, if a person fell off the platform and wound up in the drink, as it were, he or she would be disqualified. I liked it: simple, direct, and brimming with potential to embarrass many people.

First up were Eric and Brad, and here's the biggest shocker of all: Eric actually managed to jump across the gap. Even more impressively, when he landed, the contraption didn't break off and plummet down into the water below. It was truly a feat of epic proportions -- in all senses of the phrase.

Next were Wes and Nehemiah, who jumped around without incident, and then after them came CT and Evan. It should be noted that most people lunged themselves from one platform to the other, usually landing on their bellies. CT, on the other hand, managed to leap across without a problem, landing on his feet each time. It was pretty impressive, even if his stupid hairdo continued to vex me at all times.

Last and probably least was Derrick, who I prayed would fall off a platform. Up until this point, no male had dropped, and he was not only our final hope, but honestly, I just wanted to see the look of dejection that would come with such a humiliating failure. Sure enough, the Duel gods were listening to me, and next thing we knew, he was dropping down to the ocean below. Ha. IDIOT. Afterwards, he explained to us, "If my body was just a little bit longer, maybe I would have had a chance." Yes. Or maybe if you jumped more than one foot, that would help too.

Posted by B-Side on November 9, 2006 8:05 PM