Rock Is Like A Box Of Chocolates - 
by copygodd
Am I just crazy, or at end of last week's episode of Rock Star: Supernova didn't the band say that this week the rockers would each be given a new Supernova tune to write lyrics for? Hold on, let me check: no, I'm not crazy. They said it. But for some strange reason, they seem to have forgotten they said it. Still, when you consider their collective partying history, I guess it's not that strange that they forgot it. At this point in their careers, we should just be glad they remember to show up for the tapings every week.
And to wear pants.
Anyway, for whatever reason, we didn't get to hear any new Supernova songs this week. Instead, we got the usual assortment of songs: some good, some bad, and some Zayra.
Brooke welcomes us to the show, and introduces Tommy as "Mr. Hell Yeah!" I know it's been a while since I did any RAW recaps, but wasn't "Hell Yeah!" Stone Cold Steve Austin's catchphrase? What's next? Will TheDave start ending his segment by asking if we can smell what TheDave is cooking?
I hope not, because I have a feeling it would smell like children.
It wouldn't be a proper recap without a weather advisory.
Before we get to tonight's performances, Brooke gives us a look at what happened in the mansion over the past week. Magni received a special delivery from Iceland in the form of his wife and child. At least I think it's his wife. But since the producers never say for certain, we'll just say Magni receives a special visit from his baby mama and baby baby.
Five rockers and a baby.
The rockers are seen working on their songs for this week. Except for Zayra, who's shown working on her wardrobe. "What I wear onstage, I do it more for myself," she tells us. "I want to see excitement, I want to see fantasy." Which is good, because that's exactly what her dreams of being the lead singer for Supernova are: fantasy. "I want to wow myself," she continues. "And if people get wowed by it, perfect." Is it just me, or is this segment starting to sound very pornish? The only thing missing is a pizza delivery guy and a "boom-chicka-bow-wow" soundtrack.
Lukas says that this week he's going to show a different side of his voice: intelligible. Actually, he says more heartfelt and not as angry. But I'd settle for intelligible.
Dilana oversees the song selection process. First up for bid: "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who, with Gilby on guitar. Toby says he thought about going for it, but then started to worry that performing with Gilby might backfire on him. Which kind of goes contrary to the whole point of the show, TOBY! Amazingly, nobody wants to perform with Gilby. Maybe they're afraid that Jill will hump their leg? Dilana asks the group four times if anyone besides her wants the song, and they all say "no". You know TheDave is not going to be happy with their collective lack of testicles.
Josh says it's not always a good thing to jump on the band's songs, citing Patrice's position in the bottom three following her performance with Tommy Lee. The big difference there, however, is that Patrice is Patrice.
Time for this week's shameless-yet-awkward product promotion, as Dilana downloads her song on V-Cast, then gets a special V-Cast message from Gilby on her V-Cast phone. What are the odds? All that mentioning of "V" reminds me of that old series V, about aliens who look like humans but are actually mice-chugging reptiles. Dilana is totally a mouse-chugger.
Guitar-cam!
Remember when I said TheDave was not going to be happy? Yeah, I was wrong. Because TheDave is worse than not happy; he is downright pissed! He can't believe that nobody fought for the song. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" he asks. "You have an opportunity to play a song with Gilby Clark, guitar player for Supernova, the very band you're auditioning for... After what we said to you last week about nobody jumping in to play with Tommy, and nobody wanted this song except Dilana? If it were up to me, and you guys are lucky it's not, if it were up to me, Dilana would win this thing right now!"
Oh how I wish it were up to TheDave. Clearly Dilana is the best singer in this competition. And if they ended it tonight, that would save me from having to recap this show 19 more times. Please give it to Dilana. Pretty please?
BITCHES!!
Incredibly, some of the other rockers just shake their heads at TheDave's anger. (I'm talking to you, STORM!) Odd. Anyway, it's time for Dilana to perform. Overall, I'd say tonight she was a bit underwhelming. But thanks to the help of He Who Must Not Be Named, even Dilana's underwhelming is better than 99% of the other contestants.
TheDave likes it: "That didn't look like an audition. It looked like a rock show!" Yes, Mr. Navarro, but was it awesome? Then he tells the other contestants that could've been them up there. "As if it didn't suck enough to follow Dilana before, now you've got to follow Dilana with Gilby Clarke. That's really gotta suck." Other things TheDave believes gotta suck: my continued use of this picture in every recap.
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