The Ryan King - 
by copygodd
I don't know what it's like in the rest of the country, but even though it's still August, here at the foot of Pikes Peak you'd think it were autumn. I know this for two reasons. One, the wife and I went camping over the weekend and woke up to snow on the Peak. (And no, that doesn't mean I'm getting gray pubes.) And two, all the breweries have released their Oktoberfest beers. So tonight's recap is brought to you by the Summit Brewing Company, the Left Hand Brewing Company, and Sam Adams. Hooray beer!
Brooke welcomes us to Fan Selection Night on Rock Star: Supernova, adding that we're just two weeks away from crowning a winner. Six contestants and two weeks? What kind of math is that? That means they'll have to cut two contestants a week to make their deadline. Evs. I'm just happy to learn I only have six more episodes to recap. Hooray Brookanomics!
After her recent kablosion of snappitude, what could Dilana possibly do to top herself on this week's episode of Rock Star? If you guessed read a passage of the Necromancer whilst stabbing a shard of glass into another contestant's head, you're half-right.
If I'm talking about Dilana, it must be time for some mansionanigans. Introing the segment, Brooke reminds us that after Dilana tore into her fellow contestants during last week's mansionanigans segment, she apologized on national TV. But if you think the drama was done then, you don't know your Mark Burnett produced shows very well. Because the fun was just getting started...
Over dinner, Storm tries to make light of the situation, raising a toast to Dilana's first spanking. It's much like the toast Shigaboth raised in Dilana's honor many millennia ago to celebrate her first soulbirthing, but Dilana doesn't want to join in this time. It seems she feels that everything she says is taken the wrong way. I don't know if I buy it, though, as it's pretty hard to misinterpret "Braaaaiiiinnss!" She says she was filled with hurt and anger and sadness and desperation. Other things she was filled with: sugar and spice and maggots and lice. And Braaaaiiiinnss!
Ryan says he has to sleep with himself every night, and that's why he won't talk bad about people. Which makes no sense at all. When I used to have to sleep with myself, that's all I did was talk bad about people. Even now that I'm married I still talk bad about people. Cuz that's how mrs. copygodd likes it.
Dilana tries to explain, saying she was under the impression it was a clinic, and she didn't know if she was supposed to speak her mind or not. "Life is a constant clinic," interrupts Lukas, obviously referring to his troubles with STDs and methadone. Later, Lukas tells us he wishes he could take it back for Dilana, because now she has to live with the consequences. Wait, were those kind words coming from OompaLukas? See, that's the good thing about pipeweed versus alcohol. I've met a lot of angry drunks, but never an angry hobbit.
"Hi, Mom!"
Pointing to her throat, Dilana tells us she could feel her emotions about to explode out of her. It was almost as if she were human again. Later, she's sitting poolside with the guys, when everything catches up to her and she totally loses it. Before you can say "Hail Satan" she's flipped off the camera man, shattered a glass on the ground and stormed off the set. Unfortunately for her (and Magni), one of the pieces of glass shot up and stabbed Magni in the head. I smell lawsuit! But is the sulfur I smell from Dilana or the gaggle of trial lawyers gunning for Magni's business? It would certainly explain his increased number of votes this week.
Lukas immediately runs inside to tell the other rockers what happened, because we know that all hobbits are sneaky little tricksters and live to get others in trouble, they do! Ryan goes to check on Magni, while Storm heads upstairs to comfort Dilana. From the intensity of the hugging going on, it looks like Dilana could use a little shelter from the storm.
Trick or treat!
Later, Toby, Ryan and Lukas are back down at the pool, cleaning up. Toby can't understand Dilana's blow up, saying she's had one of the sweetest rides out of anyone there. Ryan says that some people just can't handle being on top. Yeah, I always pictured Dilana as a doggy-style person myself. "It's like she's self-destructing," he says. Like?
Back to live action. Sort of. It is Dilana the Undead we're talking about. She should just be glad she's talking to TheDave and not TheVlad, as he'd no doubt have impaled her on a stake by now. Again.
TheDave wants to put things to rest, and asks Magni how his head is. "It's just a flesh wound," replies Magni, showing off his knowledge of overused Monty Python quotes. "I've cut myself worse shaving... my balls!" Actually, he doesn't say his balls, but you know he has. Next, TheDave asks Dilana how she's feeling going into tonight's performance. "I feel like I'm gonna rock it," she says. Like a hurricane!
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