The Ryan King - 
by copygodd
After the break, we learn that tickets are now available for Supernova's upcoming world tour. If you buy them before midnight, you'll automatically be entered for a chance to win a trip for two to their opening night gig at The Joint in the Hard Rock Café in Vegas. So chances are good if you buy tickets tonight, you'll also win the trip.
Up next is Ryan, singing "Clocks" by Coldplay. While he's been killing it the last few weeks, tonight isn't one of his better performances. I don't think it's all his fault. Chris Martin has a hard voice to copy, as his falsetto is a direct result of being emasculated by Gwyneth. Ryan starts off playing the piano, but quickly jumps on top of it. From there, it's down onto the stage and then back to the piano and then back on top. His stage antics were like a mashup of Michelle Pfeiffer's turn in The Fabulous Baker Boys and Chicken George's recent stint as a pollen fluffer. Tommy is impressed by Ryan's ebony and ivory humpees, but not as impressed as he'd been had Ryan played the foot pedals with his schlong.
Storm is doing a song that's already been performed twice this season: "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence. Once by Jill, and once by Zayra. May she rest in peace. Storm doesn't know the song and she doesn't know the lyrics. Which means her performance should still be better than Zayra's. Tonight, she's asked Toby to sing backup vocals for her. Evidently she doesn't know how to pick a backing singer either.
TheDave thinks Storm's performance was "all right," but Toby was "awesome!" Gilby says he still remembers when Jill did this song. But not Zayra?! Heretic! He says he has a feeling he's not going to remember Storm's version. Jason says that effort means a lot, and she gave it a good effort tonight, which is good enough for him. What the hell, Jason! You're not judging Rock Star: Special Olympics. Okay, not technically.
Toby says it's safe to say that he's the joker in the house. He always has some cake to shove in Ryan's face. (Cake. Australian for Thingie.) He was the first guy to streak around the pool. And he managed to get Dilana to strip for a song he didn't even want. He thinks his sense of humor will serve him well as the lead singer for Supernova. I wonder if he'll feel the same way the first time he wakes up with T-Bag's crank in his face. Or the fifth.
It's hard out here for a pimp.
Tonight Toby is singing "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol. In Week One, Lukas's version of this song prompted Tommy's first mic drop of the season. Will Toby's version prompt any Tommy droppings? Well, considering he brings a posse of hoochies from the crowd up on stage, I'm guessing the only thing Tommy's dropping tonight is his pants. And when T-Bag tells him to "grab the girls and head back to his dressing room" I know I'm right.
Dilana is the final performer tonight, singing "Mother Mother" by Tracy Bonham. I was pretty hard on Dilana for her behavior last week. As many alert readers pointed out in the comments, she was just acting like a rock star. While that's debatable, tonight she was definitely performing like a rock star, because she was awesome! Sorry. But I while I thought she might have blown her chances last week, she more than made up for it tonight. The only downside to her performance was when she humped the guitarist's head. Not because head-humping is necessarily bad, but because she humped his head with her 3,000 year old cooter.
TheDave says that out of two seasons of Rock Star, this might be his favorite performance of all. Tommy introduces himself as the "King of Mistakes" and says that the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Which is why he's never going to bang Pamela Anderson again.
Before going off the air, Brooke reveals the initial bottom three: Storm, Ryan and Zayra. I mean Lukas. Sorry, force of habit.
THE RESULTS
Brooke starts off by saying the voting has increased every week. But last night the numbers hit an all-time high, more than doubling last week's vote, and the most votes ever in two seasons of Rock Star.
Pregnancy becomes her.
Hey, it's the obligatory recap of last night's ep, which you just read. Pardon me while I skip the insanity...
Back at the mansion, the rockers enjoyed a quiet celebration. Magni says the evening was amazing, because everyone delivered their best. "But at this point, 50% of us are going to the bottom three." Fractions are hot.
Storm says if you're in the bottom three, it doesn't mean you're not good. No, it just means that at least three people are gooder than you are. Lukas says he wouldn't be surprised if he were in the bottom three. "I'd just take it like a man and give it my, give it hell, eh?" Incomprehensible words from a little Hobbit, eh?
In the club, TheDave congratulates the rockers on the best show they've ever had. He adds that while they are the top six, tonight half of them will be singing for their lives. Wait, we're killing contestants now? Dammit, why'd we cut Zayra so fast?!
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