Clark and Lana Try to Find Sexual Healing - 
by J-Unit
It's been a little while since I have taken the time to comment on a Smallville episode. Yes, the Tivo missed one and I made an urgent plea to TVgasm readers for help, which they obliged. The main problem though was that the WB has waited quite a long time to air new episodes after the new year. Although some people argue that my infatuation with Kristin Kreuk has clouded my objectivity, and although I might not love Smallville as much if the mannish-chinned Jennifer Garner was in the lead, I still think the formula works quite well. And since one of the admittedly many reasons TVgasm was launched was because I wanted to write about the show, I think everybody owes that fine ass of Kristin Kreuk at least a little bit of gratitude.
I have long lamented how the writers of The OC really have no grasp on how long or short story arcs should be, although since I am only a viewer, maybe I'm the one full of shit. Still, when I see how the writers of Smallville are able to juggle between full season and three or four episode story lines with ease, not to mention bringing back interesting characters at what always seems like a good time, perhaps I am only half full.
As we open the episode, Clark is studying at the Talon. As the star quarterback on a team that won the state championship, Clark not only won himself a scholarship, but also the sudden onset adoration of his classmates, including many that have never seen the school newspaper. So it is only natural to think that when Clark is invited by two hotties to a party and they make special mention of the hot tub that will be at the party, he will be more than happy to oblige them with his super self. (Oh look, more than 5 people in the high school have speaking parts. I hope The OC writers are learning.) But this is Clark Kent, and he is forever to be tortured by love he may never be able to fully experience. As he explains to his mom later, he is interested in other girls, but he doesn't want to get to know them only to be forced to lie to them about his secret. Well, he could have sex with them and then sneak out the next morning, but I guess he'll have to wait until college to try that out. Like he said "A girl must be crazy to go out with me." Oh, now that's a GREAT setup for a segue.
It just so happens that there was one girl that was very crazy and very much into Clark. Her name was Alicia, and for those of you who don't remember, or are just humoring me by reading this article, she not only learned of Clark and his abilities, but had some abilities of her own in the form a nifty little teleporting trick. Alicia (played by Sarah Carter, who makes me rethink my Erica Durance crush) is hot and Clark actually seemed to enjoy spending time with her, that is at least until she became a little too obsessed with having Clark all to herself, to the point where she tried to kill any competition, including Lana.
Alicia was sent to the crazy house, but through the miracles of modern medicine, was completely cured. Her doctors even developed an arm band that would prevent her using her teleporting ability. After her release, she immediately goes to see Clark and apologizes. Now even though we all have a feeling that this is going to turn into some crazy fatal attraction, you can see the kind of attraction Clark and Alicia have for each other. She went as far to say that knowing Clark was on the outside and had feelings for her was one of the things that gave her the strength to get better ("In my darkest moment, you gave me hope"). For Clark, he was impressed that there was one person on this earth that not only knew what it was like to be different from everybody else, but knew about his secret, and didn't reveal it for any reason.
Now Clark's parents aren't so sure that she is cured, and Clark wants to make sure that everything is on the up and up, so he asks Chloe to do a little investigation for him. After hacking into the computer of the mental facility that had stored Alicia, she learns that the she didn't escape, and that her doctors really did believe she was cured.
With this knowledge in hand, Clark decides it would be no problem to see Alicia, you know, since she is cured and all. They have a nice little date at the skating rink, and although Clark has superpowers, it doesn't mean he has any natural balance on the ice. This leads to the obligatory hand hold around the rink, followed by Clark falling and Alicia falling on top of him. Naturally, this would lead to a nice little romantic kiss on the ice, but that was not to happen. Alicia caught a glimpse of her doctor in the skating rink and held back. Apparently the doctor was smart enough to put a locator in the bracelet, so Alicia would never get too far. He tells her that Clark is the object of her obsession and the reason why she was in the hospital in the first place. It is therefore imperative that she never see Clark.
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