Lights, Candles, Action - 
by J-Unit
OK, so maybe Clark isn't as scared of responsibility as he is enjoying his time without powers because he feels it will give him the chance to be close to Lana, and let's be honest, Lana is one person that anybody would want to get close to. There are lots of times when Kristin Kreuk is looking positively delightful in her Lana get-ups. I must hearken back to the time when she smelled the crazy flower and decided to go swimming in her skivvies. While Lana proves that one can never get tired of a great-looking girl in a good pair of jeans, she really stepped it up a notch this episode. Jeans, simple tank top, and a tool belt! I don't know why it's so hot to watch her walk around with a hammer loop, but the sight of her in that getup makes me wonder how she would look with nothing but a set of metric wrenches to keep her decent. Oooh, and maybe a level or a some vise grips. The possibilities are endless, and if I continue this for very long, I am going to need a glass of water....and some tissues.
I started doing some math when I watched this scene. One boy + one girl + parents miles away + empty barn with accessible loft = afternoon delight? They start to make out, but before they get too far, Lana says that she has done some things. Well, she could have done a lot, but honestly, take a look at her, unless "doing a lot" means I often spend summers in Thailand on internships in Phuket, there isn't that much that is going to taint Lana, especially when you consider how bad Clark wants her. He says that he wants to take his time, and when Lana tells him that they have been taking it slow and they should just rip off their clothes and go, Clark says that he wants his first time to be as special as she is. Lana has a look on her face that says "well, I hope he never finds that sex tape I made with Jason" but is really shocked to hear that nothing happened between him and Alicia (oh how I loved Alicia). She then tells Clark that she and Jason never did anything either.
It's not a huge surprise that Lana is a virgin because we learned in the first episode where she is possessed by her slutty witch ancestor that she was a virgin, but you would think that Jason would have tapped that by this point. She is hot, but if you were in college, would you get a job at the same school as your girlfriend if you still had to settle for an HJ every now and then and a beej on special occasions? Would you go to China if you weren't testing out each other's flexibility each week? Not at all.
Now that those awkward moments have come and gone, it is time to GET. IT. ON! It's funny how things come full circle. Just four years ago, Clark was looking at Lana through his telescope, wishing he was a guy named Whitney. And nobody would wish themselves to own a girlie firstie like that unless there was a good reason. That good reason was he was dating Lana, and Clark wanted to be that girlie firstie so very bad. Now he had the girl of his dreams, and they were about to boink on the couch mere feet away from that same telescope.
Before things get too hot and heavy, they hear a noise. Doh! You knew that that parental units would start to worry when the nails took a lot longer to get there than planned. They would head home and try and find the nails themselves. As they hurriedly put their clothes on during this coitus interruptus - or heavypetting interruptus, as it were - they soon find out that it's not Mr. and Mrs. Kent that were interrupting, but Lee, and his two freaky friends who look like Powder's long lost cousins.
During Lan and Clark's little escapade, Chloe must have been bored without her friends and decided to head to the cave where she was first transported. Perhaps she was looking for her cell phone that she left behind while tracking Clark to his fortress of solitude. Lex happens to be right behind her in the cave, which I would call creepy, but he is there all the time, so the coincidence is not so great. He wants to ask her questions like why she was found in a hospital in the Yukon, and some other things he probably could have asked during their six-hour flight back home. Lex tries to break Chloe and get her to admit that she knows what is going on with Clark. At first he tries reason, but Chloe is loyal, so he tries to play on the jealousy that you know she still must harbor and says that "it must be hard to be a third wheel." Chloe doesn't take the bait and counters by saying that any real friend would be glad that they are happy. Lex is persistent of course, but finally stops when she tells Lex that if he starts asking questions, she'll start asking some of her own, like what happened to that spaceship in Landers Field.
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