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Lights, Candles, Action - TVgasm

by J-Unit

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Clark walks in with a suitcase and tells Lee that the serum is inside. Now unless I missed something, there is no way he was able to get the serum from the Luthorcorp lab. Was he planning on filling a few vials with ecto cooler or some Midori and hope that the guys don't notice when the only feeling they get afterwards was the urge to pee? Lee opens the suitcase, and it explodes. Part of the arsenal Chloe had in her car was a flash bomb given to her by Lois. The bomb goes off, distracting Lee, giving Clark time to shut the power off, so Lee didn't have the chance to use his ability on anyone. Without Lee's protection, the force field twins are helpless, and they had wanted to cut their losses and split earlier, so they give up.

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Once again, Clark saves the day, even without his powers, with a major assist from his friends. The sheriff was so impressed with the plan that she said Clark should look into law enforcement. Chloe, however, had something that Clark should hear. When she was analyzing the security signals, she found a carrier that was transmitting video. Somebody was watching them, and if somebody was watching them while they were inside Luthorcorp, it had to be Lex. Clark heads to his mansion, punches Lex in the face, and accuses Lex of setting the whole thing up. He didn't just allow the experiments to go on, but he released Lee knowing that the criminal would want to get the serum from the secret lab. One of the reasons why security was so lax at Luthorcorp was that Lex wanted to make it easy for them to get inside so he could record anything extraordinary Clark might do. In order to get insight into Clark, Lex put all of the Kents, plus Lana, in danger. Clark punches Lex again, Lex punches Clark, and Clark starts to bleed. If there is anything to convince somebody that another person is not a superhuman alien, it is the sight of blood after the limp-wristed swing of Lex Luthor.

Well, well, Clark and Lex may never be friends again. I am sure that they will have some back and forth talk soon about putting things in the past. Lex will admit his mistakes, try to make up for it by revealing some piece of information about himself or Luthorcorp that will make Clark re-evaluate everything. But you have to wonder if he is going to give Lex another chance, especially since Lana is so obviously against that friendship, and Chloe is scared of Lex as well.

While Clark is thinking about that, he visits Lana in her apartment. They begin where they left off in the barn. After Lana patches Clark up a little bit because of the punch he took, they light some candles, set the mood with a little business, and get down to what so many people have been waiting for so long. In other words, they can now tell Chloe how much fun sex is with each other, just in case she wasn't feeling like an outside already. Nothing really to report on the scene, except Lana won't have to worry about the super sperm blasting a hole through the back of her head since Clark is now mortal.

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Are you happy now that Clark and Lana are together? Will the first time be the last time or will they go it at all over the place like Buffy and Spike? And just how long is it going to be before Clark gets his powers back?


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Posted by J-Unit on October 12, 2005 1:32 PM

Comments

Lana a virgin??? She must give a good beej b/c Jason hung in there a bit too long!

Posted by: Krista | October 12, 2005 2:06 PM(#1 of 13)

WHile I can beleive Lana is the big V since shes such a cold bitch, I know Clark aint no virgin. He banged that crazy teleporter chick he married last year when he was all whcked out on red Kryptomite.

Man, I know way too much about this show.

Posted by: EdHill | October 12, 2005 2:18 PM(#2 of 13)

Ed,

Actually, in the episode where Alicia takes Clark to vegas, they stop right before they have sex. She wanted to make sure the real Clark wanted her, and not hopped up Clark. she took off the bracelet and he went back to his non-fornicating self.

Posted by: J-Unit | October 12, 2005 2:30 PM(#3 of 13)

Nerd fight! Nerd fight!

Posted by: sg-dub | October 12, 2005 3:07 PM(#4 of 13)

i love the review and its still hard to believe lana is a virgin her and jason were together for a while its hard to believe he didnt tap that

Posted by: lupe | October 12, 2005 3:44 PM(#5 of 13)

Clark and Chloe forever!

Posted by: Victoria | October 12, 2005 8:23 PM(#6 of 13)

It was shocking at first but I love how Clark took advantage of his mortality to really vent on Lex instead of just yelling at him.

Posted by: Lady J | October 13, 2005 8:06 AM(#7 of 13)

Clark can have Lana. I'll take Chloe's perky boobs and quick wit anyday.

Posted by: MODULUS | October 13, 2005 8:45 AM(#8 of 13)

Do you remember that sex scene with Alicia? That was HOT! I went right out and bought a white garter belt and thong. This one was pretty lame. I just think Lana's too much of a bore, and I don't see a lot of chemistry between the two of them. I bet Chloe would do some kinky sh*t for Clark if she had the chance. Oh right, I forgot this is a WB show, not porn.

Posted by: flymotha | October 13, 2005 9:30 AM(#9 of 13)

DUde you know Chloe would give it up fast. And she'd be into anything. Cincinnati bowtie, angry pirate, you name it. Lana just actslike her shit don't stink. I heard in real life shes a stuck up bitch on the set too.

Posted by: EdHill | October 13, 2005 8:19 PM(#10 of 13)

Clark had sex when he went all Red Kryptonite and took off to Metropolis for the summer. Robbing ATM's, partying at bars all hours, his sweet bachelor pad etc..

Posted by: JMAN | October 15, 2005 10:34 PM(#11 of 13)

Yeah, Lana definitely was a virgin but her mouth ain't; considering jason, Adam, and Whitney as her ex'es.

Posted by: DIRTYSANCHEZ | October 18, 2005 8:42 AM(#12 of 13)

lmao edhill, where exactly did you hear that kristin kreuk is a stuck up bitch on set too? the same place you hear that clark and alicia banged?

Posted by: disguy | October 22, 2005 12:08 AM(#13 of 13)