Now that we know that Clark and Lana are going at it, people probably have a lot of questions, and we could spend a lot of time speculating about the sordid details of their coupling. I don't think there is that much to it. This is Kansas after all, what kind of sex ed did you think they were getting in Smallville? I'd say the chances of Clark even knowing what a clitoris was are remote, and I bet Lana didn't spend much time trying to find hers, if her string of boyfriends gives us any clue. In other words, I bet it was boring. I'm sure they have good chemistry, and that is half the battle, but I am sure neither of them have the imagination in the sack of say, Lois, or even Chloe. Then again, we know our dear departed Alicia was a freak, so maybe she taught Clark a few things.

But whatever, Lana and Clark wake up in Clark's bed, quite obviously after a little bit of the good stuff. Boring as she may be, it's still a great thing to wake up next to Lana, and I am sure that Clark is thinking the same thing. They look at each other and share a nice little "hi," which is not a bad morning-after greeting. It's surely better than something like "You're not going to walk straight for a week!" or "Get out of here, my boyfriend could come in at anytime!" They wake up when the alarm goes off at 6:30 in the morning, which doesn't seem like a big deal, except that Clark lives on a farm, so his parents are up early, and his parents don't know what is going on. They try and get their clothes together and begin downstairs.

Clark and Lana aren't the only people getting a head start in Smallville. Chloe is preparing to get the hell out of Smallville. You could argue that things have never been more exciting for her the last few weeks since she knew Clark's secret, but with Clark turning human and his brain thinking about Lana and nothing else, there isn't much to keep her around. Just as she is about to head off down the highway, she gets a phone call from some kid named Gabriel. He tells Chloe that she is the one person that can understand what he has to do, and that she has to get out of Smallville. For her trouble, she'll finally get her big story.

What does all of this mean? Well, earlier in the episode, we saw a kid with a gun holding up some sort of nuclear missile installation. Obviously this kid is Gabriel, as we find out later, and for some reason he wants to launch a nuclear missile. He threatens to shoot the people holding the keys if they don't help him turn the key and start the launch sequence, but after the help, he shoots them anyway. Man, if getting hold of a nuclear weapon was that easy, why did it take Habib Marwan months of elaborate planning and a couple of hundred nuclear reactors to distract CTU long enough so he could get hold of one?

Chloe doesn't know what to think, but she knows that she has to talk to Clark. At the Kent's farmhouse, Lana and Clark made it downstairs without too much trouble. It looks like they are going to make the great escape without the parentals knowing any better. They knock over a candlestick, kind of giggle, and when they make their way for the front door, there are Jonathan and Martha, wondering what the hell happened. It's kind of obvious what has been going on. Lana is wearing one of Clark's shirts, so it's not like she can say she came over early for some coffee. By the way ladies, we love it when you wear our shirts. There is nothing hotter. OK, maybe the tool belt, but you get what I mean.

I was wondering what the big trouble was sneaking around behind Clark's parents. They knew he was in love with Lana, and they were teenagers once, so why get hung up with their kids expressing their love in such a way? Well, it seems like Martha really wasn't that concerned, except that they used protection, which Clark assures him that they do. Jonathan is just a little bit more than pissed. His complaints are that it shouldn't happen under his roof, and that they hadn't had a chance to talk about it first. You know, Clark makes life and death decisions all the time, and even though he is not going to save the world anymore, hasn't he earned a free pass or two?

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Posted by J-Unit on October 19, 2005 12:33 AM