Please Stick to the Rivers and the Lakes That You're Used To - 
by J-Unit
This week's Smallville was very highly anticipated because it featured the appearance of Aquaman. I am not a huge fan of these cameo episodes, because the characters usually come and go in one episode, and you never see them again. Yes, that is really what a cameo is all about, but I think doing it that way really tends to break up the central story lines and leads to more confusion throughout the season. Even two or three episode arcs would make more sense. The fans love them, however, and it is kind of fun to see how often the writers try to fit in references to the comic books. And let's be honest, anything that gives us a chance to see our favorite hotties in their swimwear can't be that bad.
Even though it's almost November in the real world, it's still summertime in Smallville, and with all of that oppressive Midwestern heat and humidity, it's only natural for the kids of the area to spend some time on the beach of Crater Lake. It's really too bad that frolicking beach movies have really started to go by the wayside. Yeah, there was Real World: Cancun, but then there was From Justin to Kelly, and neither of them hold a candle to something like Weekend at Bernie's or Summer Rental. And what about summer camp movies? Admit it, you would pay to see Meatballs 5 in the theater, and probably Police Academy 8 while you're at it.
You know what I would pay to see? Lana Lang in a two-piece. Unfortunately, despite her newfound willingness to get naked with Clark, we are still waiting for something equal to that pool scene back in season two. Luckily for us, Lois has decided to come back to Smallville, and her bikini made up for the lack of skin displayed by both Lana and Chloe. I do love Lois, not just because Erica Durance is hot (for more pics, try Egotastic), but because whenever she is around, Clark turns into a bumbling idiot. And not only is she back, but Martha Kent invited her to move back into the farmhouse. Clark had a problem living with Lois before, but it's hard enough to find time to have sex when your parents are around, so the last thing you need is somebody else living in the house that has a bedtime past 10 PM. Lois is not naive, so she assures him that she is a heavy sleeper, and they can do what they like.
But really, since we've heard it all before and I am sure we will hear it again, why not concentrate on something productive, like how Lois looks as she dives off of the dock and into the lake. Even if she ends up looking like Margot Kidder in thirty years, you kind of understand why Clark was obsessed as an adult. Lois tries to do a back flip off of the dock, but hits her head and falls into the water. It isn't long before Chloe notices she hasn't been up in a long time, and Clark races in to save her. He is just about to rescue her from drowning, but another guy gets there first. Yes, somebody else can swim faster than Clark, and this random guy carries Lois out of the water and performs some CPR on her.
Lois wakes up, looks like she intends to punch out the guy who just had his hands on her chest, but when she sees her savior, she notices that he's really jacked and kind of cute. Clearly she is smitten, but in her Lois Lane style, she tells "Bobby Baywatch" that she appreciated the help, but that's as far as it is going to go. We do learn his name though, and it's Arthur Curry, or as his friends call him, AC.
Just because Clark decided to stay in Smallville doesn't mean he isn't interested in higher education. He is enrolled at Central Kansas A&M and his first class is history with Professor Milton Fine. Professor Fine is played by James Marsters, and for all of us that are used to him as Spike, it's quite a shock to hear him speaking without the British accent we have all come to expect. Imagine seeing Michael Jordan without his head shaved or Jack Nicholson with a woman his age and you can begin to imagine just how out of the ordinary it is to hear non-Limey James.
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