Now that Clark isn't busy taking photographs, he is able to get back to doing what has always come natural, namely messing up a good relationship with Lana. He visits her on campus, and with Chloe nowhere in sight for this episode, they could have crazy sex all day and the only one complaining would be the downstairs neighbors. Problem is, Clark is a little wary of the, uh, "full court press" so to speak. When she jabs herself accidentally on a protractor (what does an amateurtractor look like?), he is worried he had hurt her, and backs off. Lana notices this, and starts to wonder what happen. Does Clark not find her attractive anymore? Because they haven't "been together" since she was at Metropolis University. This all leads to yet another Clark and Lana discussion about being honest with each other, and not hiding things from each other, and blaming each other for not being closer. Will they ever make up? Will we ever care?

Back to the campaign, Jonathan is trying to finish up some work, notices something out in the barn, and when he goes to investigate, a few of those Central Kansas Students for Lex Luthor beat him up. It's that plucky blonde and her ambiguously gay accomplices she totes around. Earlier she got into a little thing with Lois at Central Kansas over some campaign posters. Lois had told her off, and I guess she decided that she was going to make her message more direct. Earlier, Jonathan had received a threatening phone call, and so this seems to explain that whole situation pretty well.

His father may have been beaten up, but Clark is still worried about Lana. He decides to ask one of his friends, and since his only friends besides Lana are Chloe and Lois, and Lois is kind of busy, that means he is going to ask Chloe for relationship advice. As anybody who has ever had a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex that you at one time (or perhaps still do) wanted to get with, these moments tend to be a little awkward. You really need help, but don't want to get too graphic, and your friend wants to help you, but doesn't really need the details.

All of the above was going on between Chloe and Clark, and since Clark has superpowers, it adds a new twist. See, he is worried about adjusting his abilities to new situations, and no, he is not wondering where to put his feet during a 69. When Clark and Lana[not Lois, thanks Kerry] had sex, he was still human, and he is worried that in the heat of the moment (damn, I thought only his eyes could burn a hole in you!) something might happen. Chloe assured him that he does have control of his abilities. He doesn't break people's hands when he goes to give them a shake, and he doesn't incinerate everything he looks at, so maybe the situation isn't as bad as he thinks. Maybe Chloe just thinks that Clark needs to practice. I am sure she would volunteer, but maybe he'll just have to go back to his loft in the barn and choke the chicken. Ha! Farm animal masturbation innuendoes are the best, especially when the person actually lives on a farm.

Clark may want to go practice, but he won't be able to in the barn, at least not until he gets his dad down. Those crazy kids that beat him up also, strung him up upside down, with a note to get out of the race. Jonathan is rushed to the hospital, but he is not going to let this latest setback do him in. We know it wasn't Lex, but Jonathan doesn't, and the thought that somebody would think he would give up to intimidation is more irritating than the actual beating. Lex actually visits Jonathan, but Clark gets in the way. Lex pulled the good old "denounce the attack and offer a reward" trick that works so well for the rich and guilty. It's almost enough for Clark to believe he is guilty, and he wonders what will ever make Lex stop. What if Lex doesn't have enough power in the state senate, what's next? "There's always the white house," Lex says, and while that is scary proposition, it actually happens in one of the comic book series.

You know the interesting thing about Jonathan's attack? His attitude through this whole thing really propelled him in the polls, and that is exactly the opposite of what Samantha wanted to happen. Meeting back at Central Kansas, she starts to lay out her grand plan before Rod and Todd. There is one thing that they can do to make sure that Jonathan never bounces back. Now, these two guys may have joined to see how horny she gets during victory, but murder was a little too much for them. They want to turn themselves in before people start to believe Lex had planned it. Samantha won't let that happen, and shoots them both, and in a scene that is part Taxi Driver, part Silence of the Lambs, and part Crying Game, Samantha looks at herself in the mirror, and then begins to shave her head. She's going to be exactly like Lex if it kills her, or even if it kills him. Oh, and I know that you should be prepared for anything in a campaign, but how did they happen to have hair clippers lying around? Doesn't that seem a little strange in itself? What else do they have behind there? An Antonio Banderas blowup doll?

Posted by J-Unit on January 15, 2006 9:46 AM