Panic Room - 
by J-Unit
As campaigns go, Lex Luthor vs. Jonathan Kent is quite the spectacle. And again, maybe I am losing my flair for the dramatic, but I don't really see how Lex's election in Kansas signals the coming of the apocalypse. Yes, I know that in one of the comic books he actually becomes President, but in the world of Smallville, Lex isn't all that sinister. I mean, he is destined on accumulating as much power as possible, but is kind of lacking on the destruction of his enemies front. I mean, it's not like he isn't trying, but anytime he tries to put his enemies out of business, he gets the bad end of the deal just as often as they do. If he doesn't improve on his nemesis efficiency rating, he'll go down in history as more of a nuisance and not an evil mastermind. You are kind of just waiting for his older brother to order his death while fishing on lake Tahoe, if only to put us out of our misery. Lex does have money, and since money buys you everything in this country, he has always got a shot.
Last week, a Lex superfan decided that she wasn't doing enough for Lex by offering up her naked, bald-headed, barely legal body to him and decided to try and kill Jonathan Kent. She failed, and it only served to help Jonathan in the polls. Combined with a hot cash injection from Lionel Luthor, his campaign is clicking on all cylinders. As for Lex, without Griff he has been unable to find the dirt on Jonathan Kent. The problem is that Jonathan is as far from being a dirty politician as Drew Barrymore is from a bra at an award show.
Just when you think things can't get worse, two officers from the Smallville sheriff office come buy and report that there is a bomb threat at the Luthor mansion. But wait, it does get worse. The officers aren't there for a bomb threat; they are there to take Lex hostage. The campaign manager decides that he won't settle for this, and throws the book at them, literally. This method works on an episode of Law and Order, but when you are throwing books to defend yourself against people with guns, usually you are going to have to be one great shot, and hope that you have something more than a paperback. Although his campaign manager was shot to death in the drama that ensued, Lex made it to the safety of his, uh, safe, and we are set for a little bit of a showdown.
Now, I absolutely loved the movie Panic Room. It combines two things that are marvelous: Jodie Foster and Jared Leto being shot in the head. Oh, and who could not like the sledgehammer?! So, the officers have some demands, namely a big, metallic object that came from outer space. No, it's not Skylab or the Hubble telescope, but the black spaceship that nearly fell on Lana. One of the officers actually survived the two Disciples of Zod who emerged from the thing and laid waste to the response team that arrived at the landing. While this officer lay nearly dead, he watched as Lex's team removed the ship without the slightest worry that some survivors may be around some place. Lex's security is tied up in the basement, has cut the hard lines used for communication, and is scrambling the wireless signals. But hey, Lex can wait things out, so why worry?
You know who else is good at waiting things out? Lana Lang. She liked sex with her strapping young country boy, but Clark didn't seem like he was all that interested. We know that he is worried his super hormones might break her pelvis during intercourse, and, well, there is no telling what the super money shot might do to anybody, so he is avoiding contact altogether. Then again, I am sure Clark has decided to clean the pipes every now and then. What better way to get all that nervous energy out of the way before a big football game or make sure you don't pitch a tent on the dance floor at the prom? Lana doesn't think it should be complicated, and when Clark has a hard time kissing her with any more feeling than if he was her cousin, she decides to leave.
When she is leaving the barn, she accidentally drops her notes on the research project she was working on with Lex. Clark sees the spaceship and Luthorcorp, and immediately wonders why Lana hasn't been truthful with him. As we have come to expect, this leads Clark and Lana down the "honesty works both ways" argument, but Lana has another issue. Clark wants Lana to act like the spaceship is not a big deal, even though it nearly killed her. Her reason for working on this with Lex? Lex is searching for the truth, while Clark is trying to avoid the truth like Drew Barrymore avoids a bra at an awards show. What? I already used that joke. Sorry, I guess I'm having trouble getting that image out of my head.
Clark talks with his mom, but Martha is not so sympathetic to Clark. She loves her son, and she actually agrees that he hasn't been very truthful. This is sort of a change of heart from how she used to be about Clark telling people his secret, but now that both Pete and Chloe know, and they accepted Clark for whom he was, she believes he should tell Lana. If Lana truly is the one who was meant for Clark, she will understand. If she can't handle knowing the truth, maybe the two of them shouldn't be together.
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