When we ended the season last year, Clark killed Professor Fine, but his krypton father (Jor-el) told him to kill Lex. Killing Professor fine disabled him from doing damage, but in the meantime, it released General Zod, who was responsible for all the shit that happened on Krytpon. He was able to shutdown all of the electrical systems across the world, causing mass hysteria in Smallville and even causing the Luthorcorp plane to crash with Martha Kent and Lois inside. Clark went to stop Lex-Zod (how many times can people possess other people's bodies on this show before it gets old?), but Lex-Zod sent him to that weird crystal prison thing, which sucks, but what was even worse was that Chloe actually kissed Clark! Shortest love affair ever! We deserve more!

Finally!

I know I was in the middle of a joke, but my friend wanted to go to Robek's to get some smoothies. If you don't know, Robek's is basically like wannabe Jamba Juice. I prefer Jamba Juice, but my friend gets all a twitter over the Acai at Robek’s. I got Strawnana Berry, but this also means I only have another 35 minutes to finish the recap.

Anyway, Metropolis looked like a war zone. The only scenario that can come close would be to see Philadelphia if any of their sports teams were to win a championship. It would be like putting a half off sign in front of the Zankou Chicken in Little Armenia.

Before all of the crazy shit went down, Lana decided that she was going to be with Lex forever and ever, 'til death and all that shit. Lana is probably aware that Lex had a lot of baggage, but she has no clue that Lex-Zod is such a bastard. She thinks that Lex has all this power and he should use it to help people, but Lex-Zod really just wants the world to end.

Meanwhile, what happened to Lois and Martha? Weren't you listening? I said that the plane crashed. They were flying from Kansas to Washington, but somehow found themselves on the side of some snowy mountain? Really, how does that happen? I was thinking to myself "That sucks", because crashing in the arctic is bad enough, but there also happens to be no electricity anywhere on the earth, so you're going to have to wait a long time to be rescued.

I was starting to think that Martha Kent was going to have to create a fire and eat one of Lois' legs to survive. Oh, and this just popped into my head, but if the writers need something funny to write about, how about telling the story of Lois and her breast implants? We can't just pretend that they don't exist can we? Back to the story, Martha didn't have to worry about cannibalism, because she might have landed in the arctic, but the crash placed her within walking distance of the fortress of solitude.

Martha drags Lois to the fortress, and she hears Jor-el's voice. Jor-el breaks it down how Clark fucked up, but basically killing Fine and releasing Zod was not good for the fortress. Jor-El knew that Clark was imprisoned, but gave Martha a way to kill Lex-Zod if she had to. And for his final trick, Zod teleported Lois and Martha back to Smallville.

Lana and Lex-Zod went home to Smallville, and Lex-Zod started talking about destroying the Earth to make it like Krypton. But first, he had to go to the pentagon. Lana decided that she didn't want to sit and do nothing while genocide is going on, unlike, say, the UN, and attempted to hit Lex-Zod over the head with a fire poker. Instead, Lex-Zod poked Lana, straight through the hand, impaling her against the wall and then leaving for Washington.

Posted by J-Unit on September 29, 2006 5:15 PM