This week brought the first drop out - Anthony, who realizes that he has no chance at winning and just wants to go home. Here comes producer Nigel to make him feel bad about it. Nigel lectures Anthony, "One thing about a dancer, you can never give up!" Oh really? Heart surgeons can give up, but not dancers. Then Nigel adds. "You've let yourself down." But thankfully, he's made the audience so much happier. Instead of letting Anthony off, we see a replacement dancer show up to enter the competition. He's one of the dancers who was cut last show (he was already in Hollywood, no need to fly anyone in) whose partner and fiancé had made it – big reunion moment. But they didn't let this celebration last too long, because by the end of the show, this guy was going home again. Gotta love the way they give somebody hope only to knock them back down again.

It’s time for the weekly fatty update. The fatsos left in the competition are Brandon and Allan (“Big Papa”). The show spends an inordinate amount of time on Allan, show him all queeny and upset when his roommate Blake smuggles his small rat/dog into the hotel, only to sh*t all over the floor. In fairness to Allan, he wakes up and steps on a pile, which wouldn’t please me at all either. We catch a glimpse of Brandon shoving pizza down his throat at dinner. Apparently, he’s not interested in slimming down for this competition. In salsa class, the women create a “window” with the arms for their partner to climb through. Allan has to step back for a moment, because he knows he’s not fitting his fat ass through that little window. I’m putting Erin, the 6 foot tall Irish dancer into the fatty category tonight. Although she’s just tall, not fat, it’s clear that her body is just not going to allow her to make it in the competition. While choreographing “the snake” in salsa class, she breaks just about every male dancer’s back as they try to throw her around their backs. In fact, tricky choreography sends her crying to the bathroom. She’s an emotional basket case and I love it.

Finally, it’s time for the eliminations. But first, if anyone was starting to doze off, Nigel arrives in a godawful navy blazer with red and white stripes. What was he thinking? Tonight, we’re going from 50 people down to 24, on our way to the final 16. For the most part, there are no surprises. We do see some bickering between the judges about Allan. Even though the ballroom and the salsa judges think he sucks, he makes it through to the next round. This is like Bob Guiney making it to the final four on the Bachelorette when Trista gave him a rose. You knew there was no chance that fatty was making the final cut, but you couldn’t help rooting for him a little bit.

Although we’ve heard her voice the entire show, surprisingly, we don’t see Lauren Sanchez and her boobs until after the choreographers have made their final decisions. She’s waiting outside the door in an off the shoulder black number. Also taking a page from the Bachelor, she lets us know during the previews that next week will be the “most dramatic episode yet.” Really? We’re only had three episodes now, and I certainly hope they get more dramatic, because frankly, up until this point, I haven’t really cared one way or another who makes the cut. I’m looking forward to Dan taking Blake down another notch for telling Lauren during the interview that he doesn’t care what Dan thinks, because he dances better. Not so smooth Blake, Dan sees the tape! That should make for some good shit next week, which would be the first week of good shit this show has had.

Posted by on August 6, 2005 2:07 PM