While I'm discussing Rihanna and Nelly Furtado, I must voice my objection to the newfound trendiness of shorts. Shorts are not to be worn for any sort of public appearance or social event, whether one is a celebrity or not, and whether one's legs are cute or not. Shorts are for athletic activities and for lounging around your house or the beach. Oprah told me that, and while I sometimes doubt her wisdom, she was dead-on about the shorts thing.

You say S.O.S., I say N.O.Shorts.

After the commercial, we see clips of the three girls' dances again. On second viewing, Aleks might suck more than Joy. They are both terrible. Aleks's super-white hip-hop routine from last night was a million times better than this weird Martha Graham shit she is doing tonight.

Heidi gets called forward first, and of course, it's so Nigel can tell her that she rocks and she's safe. Wait, then he says Heidi is related to Benji? What does he mean? I'm sure somebody will explain it to me. Joy is called up next and told she needs to broaden her dance horizons, then told to step back.

Then Nigel really lays into Aleks. "Aleksandra, step forward. Aleksandra, I think that was a pitiful performance tonight. Your solo was just angst-ridden; there was no substance to it whatsoever. And when Cat asked you how nervous were you, you couldn't articulate how nervous you were, and that's how your dance felt. It didn't feel as though you articulated anything in your dance, and you didn't even complete it. So we're very disappointed with your performance here tonight. We weren't quite as disappointed last week; we thought you were very good, and we take everything into account, so I would suggest you work on your solo performance for next week, because you're staying."

It's called a HAIRBRUSH. Look into it.

Wow! That was a dirty trick to pull on Joy. He never said she was safe, but once she heard him call Aleks "pitiful," she must have started to feel pretty good about things. I think I agree with everything Nigel just said. Joy handles her ouster well. I am not surprised, considering how well she handled Mia blowing her up last night. She leaves smiling, and she deserves lots of credit for that. Dmitry has got to be so psyched right now.

We see clips of the three guys' dances. Dmitry is called forward first, which makes the crowd cheer wildly, because that means he's safe. Yeah, just wait until a couple of weeks from now when Nigel pulls a Chris Daughtry on somebody. But for now, things look good for Dmitry. Nigel compliments him on the fact that when Cat asked him whether he blamed Joy, he said no and blamed their suckage on a failure by both of them to approach the partnership properly. Well, yeah, he did say that, but only after a time lapse equivalent to several complete revolutions of the Earth around the sun. Personally, I wasn't impressed with his tact, but Nigel says he could be a politician. Dmitry is safe; Mia thinks he was like a Greek god tonight. RESPECT THE DRESS.

Dmitry goes over to hug Heidi and Aleks, because one of these two will be his partner for next week. Ryan is called up next. Nigel says there is a wall between him and the audience. Ryan responds with a facial expression that is sort of like, well, a wall between him and the audience.

Wait, you think I don't invite the audience into my heart?

Now Jason. Nigel says that tonight, Jason showed no personality, and he sends him home. Wow - that is some bad luck. Jason was not very good tonight, but he was good last night; he probably only ended up in the bottom three because Aleks sucked so much. And now she's sticking around, and he isn't. I guess that's what happens when we send home the bottom boy and the bottom girl, rather than just the worst two, who were clearly Aleks and Joy. Jason hugs it out with Cat. Note that during the loser montages, they play a song about "she's a beautiful girl" for the girls, and a song about "it's the end of the road" for the guys. I find that annoying. Why the difference?

So Aleks and Dmitry will be partners next week. Hm. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that if they draw ballroom, they will do amazingly well, but if they draw hip-hop, get your barf buckets ready. Speaking of which, Aleks still looks like she's about to burst into tears. I don't get what's going on with her tonight. She looks like she got some horrible news off-camera. Or maybe it's just dawned on her that she is affiliated with this show.

Losers.


Not losers. Discuss.

See you next week!

Posted by Amanda on June 23, 2006 4:30 PM