Really, Really Not Like A Virgin - 
by Amanda
Whew - the performance show of So You Think You Can Dance is only an hour again. Cat tells us that next week's show, with the final four, will be the very last performance show. I was wondering about that. And with that, our final six dance on in. Heidi, for some reason, looks like a total spaz. I think she's trying to be ... down, or something. Travis sticks with his old reliable - namely, his masterful spins. Natalie is wearing a hideous yellow jacket and black gloves. Benji wiggles his butt in the most adorable way. Donyelle is wearing the coolest camo vest and long, full skirt. And Ivan looks exactly the same as every other week - that is, thoroughly outclassed.
Just a word of response to those who defended Ivan last week. I absolutely agree that he is fun to watch. I pulled for him for quite a while, and I still like him. I just think that Benji and Travis, and the three girls, are all miles ahead of him in versatility. My personal turning point with Ivan was when he wore the wheely shoes to do his solo. That made me think that he's mainly trying to get by on personality, at this point. I still think he's a great dancer; I just don't think he belongs up there with the others, and especially not with Ryan and Dmitry having been eliminated ahead of him. Your mileage may, of course, vary.
Hey, does anybody know who the guy is who voices over, "This is So You Think You Can Dance. Here's your host, Cat Deeley"? To my knowledge, we've never seen this guy, and he doesn't do anything else. What an easy job. By the way, Natalie's knee is very heavily braced. The device goes a good ways up and down her leg. Wow, I hope she's okay - it will be interesting to see how this affects her.
Cat is wearing - oh, dear God. The dress is fairly harmless; it's much baggier than her usual, so let the pregnancy rumors begin. But the problem is her hair. I really can't diagnose it to my satisfaction. It's up, yet also poofy and stiff and almost frizzy. From far away, it looks like she chopped off all of her hair and got a really bad perm, like Steve Sanders. Up close, it looks much better, but it has kind of a Marie Antoinette powdered-wig vibe. It's also slightly asymmetrical, with most of the bulk pushed to the left side of the back of her head. Oh, Cat.
See? Bad perm.
Let them eat cake.
Cat introduces the judges. Yay! This is my dream panel: Nigel, Mary, and Mia Michaels. This should be a rowdy night of judging. I guess the downside is that we won't get to see any weirdo Mia Michaels routines, but I think it's worth it. To my disappointment, there is nothing noteworthy about Mary's outfit; her necklace is a little much, but not in any obscene way. Mia, on the other hand, looks like an insane clown. Pink and purple vertical stripes, and it's stiff and shiny, and her makeup really tops it off. Thank goodness Mia is picking up the slack, on a night when Cat and Mary are both dressed relatively boringly.
Insane Clown Bossy.
We jump right in, and Ivan draws his partner for the night. He draws Natalie, and then they draw contemporary and jive. Natalie immediately plasters herself all over Ivan, so she's back to her partner-whoring ways. It really was just Ryan that she didn't like - odd. For some reason, jive is up first, even though contemporary appeared first on the card they drew. The choreographers are Ron and Karla Montez. Much is made in rehearsal of the fact that Natalie is not a morning person and came in tired. Yup, she looks like crap (for her, that is). Squinty eyes and everything. The choreographers express a lot of doubt about Natalie and Ivan, but we don't really see them doing anything.
If this is the worst you've ever looked, you're doing all right.
They dance their jive. It's a fifties rock-and-roll-type routine, with a ton of energy. If Natalie's knee is bothering her, I sure can't tell. Natalie has great stage presence, and the two of them are good as a pair. But it's a very short dance, and not too complicated. Nigel tells Ivan that "the G.I.s used to do that sort of routine." This makes no sense, so I play it back to see if that's really what he said, and it is. Really? So - soldiers used to have professional-quality jive training? I mean, what do I know, I wasn't there, but to me this seems like a dance that soldiers would do in a movie, not in real life.
Anyhow, Nigel thinks that Ivan fizzled throughout the course of the routine and came across as more of a Boy Scout than a G.I. Ouch, that is a really forced metaphor. I didn't notice Ivan losing energy during the routine, but I did notice that Natalie really draws the eye much more than he does. Nigel says that Natalie appeared to be doing a solo, and had no chemistry with Ivan. Hm - I thought they had chemistry, but I also thought that Ivan came across as a non-entity, so I guess what I thought makes very little sense. Natalie soothes Ivan when he gets criticized, once again reminding us that last week with Ryan was the only time that she didn't fawn over her partner this way. Instead, she seemed to project agreement with the judges, like, "Yeah, Ryan sucked."
Suck it, Ryan.
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