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Getting In The Box Can Be So Hard - TVgasm

by B-side

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At the challenge, both teams arrived with their knotted up trunks. Probst told them they'd have twenty additional minutes to swim out to see and fetch three bundles of wood to further fortify the trunk. After the time was up, teams would switch sides and begin the task of getting into their trunks and retrieving their flags. Jeff started the challenge, and immediately, Koror sent three people out to the water. One person, meanwhile, stayed back and added more knots to the chest. Things at Ulong were a little different though. Stephenie and Bobby Jon swam out while Ibrehem waded halfway to the wood. I guess the plan was to pass the wood to him and then he'd take it to the chest while Steph and BJ swim out for more. It wasn't the most efficient, but whatever. James, meanwhile, stood by the chest and spent minute after minute trying to alter his toga. YOU IDIOT. Tie more knots!

Well, even though only two people from Ulong swam all the way out in the water, they still managed to get a good lead on Koror, building a massive woodpile very quickly. Meanwhile, we received quiet play-by-play from Coby who sat on the sidelines and said things like "This is so nerve-wrecking." He should be present for every challenge. Maybe his face just shows up in a bubble in the corner of the screen as we listen to his color commentary. Hell, it doesn't have to be Survivor only. Stick him on the Amazing Race. Or Big Brother. Or heck, Monday Night Football. It would just be amusing, dammit.

Anyway, things seemed to be going Ulong's way for once. The teams switched sides, and Koror faced immediate setbacks pulling apart their woodpile, allowing their chronically suffering opponents to take a significant lead. All seemed to be going well for Ulong as they cleared the wood away and attacked the knots. Unfortunately, Koror had managed to safeguard their box by, you know, tying extra knots instead of tending to their clothing. This meant that Ian, Janu, Jen, and Katie soon caught up, and before we knew it, both teams were unravelling the rope. Unfortunately, James's super-knot turned out to be as resilient as a bowl of spaghetti and within minutes, Koror was able to surpass their competition easily. Sure enough, Ulong lost the immunity, all thanks to James's lame ass knot. Who would have thought?

Back at camp, despite his terrible performance track record, James felt pretty sure that he was safe. "Bobby Jon won't vote for me," he told Stephenie. Of course, we all know what happens to people with such large amounts of hubris (they tend to get voted off. But who knows? Maybe this time will be different). Turns out Bobby Jon was planning on voting off James, simply because he thought James had voted for him in the previous Tribal Council. Granted, he had no hard evidence, but Bobby Jon did bring up a salient point: whoever wrote his name down, "it was male handwriting." Somebody call CSI! We've got a new detective!

Actually, that male handwriting was none other than Stephenie's (does that make her a lesbian now?). She had voted for Bobby J, but knowing that he was out for revenge, she wasn't going to volunteer that information. Instead, she lied and said she had voted for Angie. Bobby Jon believed it and brokered a deal with his masculine-scrawl buddy. If they vote off James this week, next week, they'll take out Ibrehem. Unfortunately for James, he had no idea this scheming was taking place. For all he knew, it was goodbye Ibrehem. "Ibrehem's outstayed his welcome," noted James. "He was meant to go last time, and by the grace of Allah he didn't go. Well, my god says he is today!" How charming. Bringing the guy's religious background into it. Gotta love the "us vs. them" mentality. It's really so helpful in keeping this world full of the idiotic dipshits we so love.

I tend to think Jeff Probst overheard this comment in the dailies because he was not happy with James at Tribal Council. "I'll tell you what," said James as he prepared to launch into some monologue.

"Tell me something!" snapped Probst, clearly lacking any respect for the resident hillbilly. Probst then lambasted the entire tribe for its weak performance, mocking Ibrehem's lazy performance during the immunity challenge. Probst then returned his rage onto James, saying "You sat back messin' with your skirt!" I don't really know why Jeff is so mad, but I did enjoy the emasculating use of "skirt". Probst then asked Bobby Jon if he trusted his tribe.

"If you can't trust 'em, you shouldn't be in a tribe with 'em. You can't have a tribe if you don't trust people," he said, adding "Tribes of trust are for people who trust tribes, and if you can't trust people in tribes, then tribes are trusts and not trust for people. Tribes tribes tribes trust people tribes trust."

When Bobby Jon was finished creating his very own proverb, the group finally wrote down their votes, and surprise surprise, it was a tie. Two votes for James; two votes for Ibrehem. Ah yes. Our second tied Tribal Council in a row. That always makes me happy. However, the gridlock soon ended as Stephenie flipped her vote and sent James home. Later, in the exit-interview, James complained, "It wasn't my time to go." Oh yeah? Where's your god now, country boy??? James then resigned to say, "My gut failed me." Again. Let's not forget the other times your gut failed you: you know, like every other EPISODE. James, here's a tip. Do like Homer Simpson. Whenever your gut tells you something, do the exact opposite. That might start with taking down the Confederate flag.


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Anyone see the ripped up jeans James wore to his "Early Show" interview? They were fucking haggard! This guy is more of a redneck than Chris and Twila combined, Twila still has the bigger cock though.

James is crazy. He is moving to LA with his family. He was funny on "Suvivor Live" even when a lady called in and bitched at him. How were the members of Ulong not piss-ass drunk after the boat ride? I mean, these people have not really had anything to eat in a while except a can of pringles, and they are drinking large drinks. The jellyfish were cool, but I wish just one had still been able to sting one of the Survivors.

Katie is such a stupid, lazy extra mouth to feed. I wish Koror would lose once just so they could kick that bitch off.

I thought Stephanie had been playing a smart game up unitl this episode. Why the heck waste her vote on James? She knew it would end up in a tie. She knew she would have to switch her vote and James would go. So now she's on a tribe with Bobby Jon and now Bobby Jon knows he can't trust her. That was just stupid on her part.

The same day as this episode Animal Planet had a segment on Jelly Fish Lake in Palau. Maybe Mark Burnett controls the universe.

amen re: burnett's decision not to merge the floundering ulong into koror, b-side--not only does it allow for that slight bit of extra suspense, but it also will likely increase the tension of the endgame. it may be the case that the folks on koror are basically mature and decent and capable of recognizing that, when you're playing a no-holds-barred game for a million bucks, you can't take things personally. but no tribe in survivor has cohered so well before, and they've yet to really feel the tension of constant scheming or the pressure of tribal council. sure, they had to boot willard, but he more or less offered himself up, and no one stayed sad for too long, since they had a cauldron of beef stew and the humiliation of ulong to look forward to.

greg and coby have started looking down the road a little, but tom and ian aren't idiots--ian is an eagle scout, which means that he spent at least one night a week and half the weekends of his childhood competing in the same kinds of games mark burnett stole from his days in the british paratroopers to invent survivor. and given their all-around superior competence, ian and tom will be favorites for individual immunity challenges. these guys have to be aware that they are the primary targets, and so are not likely going to wait to be blindsided.

part of the fun of this season has been watching a team of pretty cool people just wipe the floor with a team of so-so lame-asses (exceptions for steph-diesel and bobby-jesus). but the real fun is going to be watching the inevitable implosion of koror, which could be even uglier than normal since they've not really had to adapt to the throat-slitting aspect of the game. prediction: beware the bitchy queen. coby's been underestimated thus far, and, whether he knows it or not, he's got greg by the balls. he could bring janu to go with greg and jen against batman and robin, OR he could out greg and jen to the ambiguously gay duo and their fag-hag katie as traitors, make them the prime target, and then flip back against tom and ian by bringing along karen, the surviving ulongs, and/or katie(!) who may just get carried to the final 4 since she's the easiest person left to beat.

I really think that Stephanie is going to be the last Ulong left, and without a merge she'll be alone at her camp. I truly think that Ulong will lose again and Ibrehem will be gone, and in a battle between Bobby Jon and Steph, I think she has a better chance. It will be interesting to see what happens if I'm right, because with so few people left for Ulong, the challenges are getting ridiculous--Koror is sitting almost everyone each time.

I'm thinking that exchange between Janu and Tom -- where Tom basically pandered to her by saying something like, "I think you'll be on the jury deciding who wins, or maybe we'll be on the jury deciding if you get the money" -- was somehow significant. Burnett & Co. don't usually just include clips like that unless they foreshadow something.

On a completely separate note, it wasn't until this episode that I felt certain that Betty -- err, I mean James -- had developed a bit of a crush on Stephenie. He answered one of Probst's questions by saying he would vote based on this or that and who he had "personal feelings" for. And I don't think he was talking about his "personal feelings" for Bobby Jon, wink wink nudge nudge.

Too bad Steph and BJ will ultimately be going home -- perhaps it's their underdog status at this point, but I'd really like to see them go further in this game. Them anyday over the likes of Katie and Caryn.

Why don't they do a 'corporate reshuffle' a la Trump and move 3 members of Koror to Ulong. That would even the teams up and create more suspense for the immunities / votes. It would also force some people to create new alliances, and give stephanie, BJ, and Ibrehim a better chance of making it to the end. Honestly, I like those three better than most Koror members (I mean Janu?? Caryn?? Come on with these pukes!)

Also, why did Stephanie vote for ibrehim after telling BJ that she would vote for james - when she KNEW it would create a tie. What kind of stupid strategy is that? He now knows that she betrayed him. If she was going to change her vote anyway, why do that? She's screwed herself - its now BJ and Ib vs. Her instead of BJ and Her vs. Ib.

boh: i also wondered what persuaded steph to change her vote at the last minute. she seems too smart to lose bobby john's trust over james, especially since the only possible outcome was a tie. all i can figure is that steph wanted to let james down easy by pretending that she had no choice but to vote him off to break the tie, but it's sort of a meaningless gesture, since james isn't on the jury. maybe, however, she told bobby john about this plan ahead of time to preserve the partnership. either way, i don't see bobby john siding with ib against steph, who has been dominant in challenges and who should likely be koror's first target after the merge.

My guess is that she and BJ had talked about the votes and he knew that she was voting for Ib the first time around, he didn't look surprised at all when it was a tie. Now James on the other hand couldn't believe that it was tied, and did you see the look on his face after the second vote? He obviously thought it was going to be a tie again after his name was read on the first vote. I wonder how long it'll take him to figure out that Steph actually voted for Ib, and BJ voted for him. Do you think he even realizes it after watching the show? He probably still thinks BJ voted to keep him and somehow that vote changed in the box.

Rick D.

What happens when Ulong gets down to just 2 (presumably Steph and BJ)? Do we get to see a battle to the death? Will they have to hunt each other down in the jungle, armed only with a fish spear?

"Gotta love the "us vs. them" mentality. It's really so helpful in keeping this world full of the idiotic dipshits we so love."


Is that the same mentality that imagined James had a confederate flag in this episode??? I surely didn't see one.

Since they didn't actually show us who voted for who the first time around, has it occurred to anyone that maybe Bobby Jon voted for Ib the first time to test Steph's loyalty? Steph should acquaint herself with a little saying that goes "Me thinks thou doth protest too much." That was her-"Oh no I definitely voted for Angie; It was her time to go; I swear to God I voted for her." Since that is technically half true-maybe she isn't going to hell. But Bobby Jon says "I believe you." And she keeps going on about it. Also, did anyone notice that after Bobby Jon's handwriting comment, Steph changed her writing. Last week, Angie and Steph had the so-called masculine handwriting and James and Bobby Jon had the feminine handwriting. If they had just voted off James instead of Angie, maybe they'd still be in this thing. Why Bobby Jon was even considered last week over James is beyond me.

Since they didn't actually show us who voted for who the first time around, has it occurred to anyone that maybe Bobby Jon voted for Ib the first time to test Steph's loyalty? Steph should acquaint herself with a little saying that goes "Me thinks thou doth protest too much." That was her-"Oh no I definitely voted for Angie; It was her time to go; I swear to God I voted for her." Since that is technically half true-maybe she isn't going to hell. But Bobby Jon says "I believe you." And she keeps going on about it. Also, did anyone notice that after Bobby Jon's handwriting comment, Steph changed her writing. Last week, Angie and Steph had the so-called masculine handwriting and James and Bobby Jon had the feminine handwriting. If they had just voted off James instead of Angie, maybe they'd still be in this thing. Why Bobby Jon was even considered last week over James is beyond me.

I am only watching this installment of Survivor until Stephenie is eliminated. She is the only reason to watch Pulau. What an ass-kicking uber-babe. I love a hot chick that can and will kick ass on a whim. She puts all the rest of her teammates to shame, SHAME!(not that James didn't already shame himself with the sheet-dress he's been sporting). Maaaan, I just hope she makes it to the final- what a stone cold fox--- meow!

I feel like I am the only one who watched the show. When Steph went to BJ and they had their discussion about who they were going to vote for in the end Stepf said okay, I'll vote for Ib and you vote for James. Steph was smart to do this. Even though Hillbilly Harry isn't going to be on the traditional jury, you never know when kicked off players are coming back. Seriously, am I the only onw who caught this conversation?

Smithie, I also think Steph and Bobby Jon knew what they were doing.

I don't foresee anyone from Ulong making it much longer, but I definitely see Steph making it the longest of Ulong (although BJ has a chance to beat her if they have to go head-to-head somehow.) They got stuck with a loser tribe and didn't impose some decisionmaking and leadership quick enough to save the tribe, but they aren't total idiots. I would like to see Steph and BJ swap with Janu, Caryn, or Katie to put all the better players together, since this thing is so lopsided anyway. But I have a feeling we will be seeing a survivor first--a 1-man or 1-woman tribe.

FYI- "see" = "sea"

LOVE THIS!!!!

"If you can't trust 'em, you shouldn't be in a tribe with 'em. You can't have a tribe if you don't trust people," he said, adding "Tribes of trust are for people who trust tribes, and if you can't trust people in tribes, then tribes are trusts and not trust for people. Tribes tribes tribes trust people tribes trust."

GENIUS!

Don't forget the two freaks that left on the first show, they're definitely coming back in some capacity. Maybe they'll be a restructuring and beloved Stephanie can stick around.

Here's a possible scenario that could keep Steph and BJ in the game (or any combination of one of those two and Ibrehem, I guess):

The two remaining Ulong merge with Koror. Greg and Jen decide to stick with Tom, Ian and Katie. This pisses Coby off so he pulls the Ulongers over with him, Janu and Caryn and those five go head to head with Tom and gang. Long shot, I realize, but it could happen.

Thank God the redneck is gone. He was driving me nuts. Besides being annoying and sexist, he had the biggest nostrils I'd ever seen.

I still miss Angie!

""Gotta love the "us vs. them" mentality. It's really so helpful in keeping this world full of the idiotic dipshits we so love."

Is that the same mentality that imagined James had a confederate flag in this episode??? I surely didn't see one."

Great point...

has ANYONE seen SURVIVOR PRINGLES in ANY store or chain store?

I hiked the chilkoot trail in Alaska with Ian back in 2002. He is going to get far because people believe the bullcrap attitude he puts on... He will suck up till the end.... and people will love him so much that he will get the win.

I have Ron. We have those and the Incredibles Pringles too. Oh and we had the trivial pursuit ones when the novetly pringles first came out.