Asked how he felt to see his mother, Rafe simply blurted out, "I can't believe she's standing in front of a Mayan temple!" Yeah, and neither can EVERY SINGLE ARCHEOLOGIST. Well, with the fam all there, it was time to bid. Who would get to see their loved ones? Even though Lydia hadn't seen her brother in two years, Steph asked the friendly fishmonger for money so she could see her goofy boyfriend. Amazingly, Lydia happily forked over the rest of her cash in a move that was either a) a strategic display of friendship; or b) a passive-aggressive attack on her brother. Yeah, there's a reason why they haven't talked for so long. It's because Lydia HATES him!

Unfortunately for Steph, even though she had a bunch of money, Cindy gave her money over to Judd who ultimately won the prize with $880. "Kristen, go give him some love," Probst said, ushering the husband and wife back together. And with nipples fully erect, Kristen bounded over to her hairy man and embraced him with the love of a thousand beers. But wait! There was a twist! Judd could now invite two other loved ones to join his wife at the camp that night. Cue the Steph begging in 3, 2, 1... now!

Yup, as usual, Steph cradled her head in her hands, quietly mouthing "Please please please please please" over and over again. And guess what? It worked. Again. Judd selected Cindy's sister and Steph's boyfriend back, causing Rafe to bawl and Lydia to smile with her usual concealed anguish. Lydia, you might as well stop expecting rewards. No one's ever gonna invite you along. Sorry sista.

Feel free to pet the Lydia!

Anyway, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia were sent back to the old Yaxha campsite while the other three spent the night with their loved ones. "My wife was pretty shocked, man, at my camping skills," Judd told us. "She was digging it. Thought it was pretty hot. She thought I was a sexy camper." Yes, sexy in that dirty, piggish sort of way. Meanwhile, Cindy and Mindy (or as I like to call them, Cmindy) expressed their happiness to us, with Mindy gushing, "I'm excited to be here because this is what I grew up doing. Playing 'wilderness people' is our favorite thing to play!" Funny, I've never played "Wilderness People." Or heard of it. Is it just me? Or is "Wilderness People" some divine creation of the Cmindy brain trust?

Twang x 2

As for Steph, she was absolutely thrilled to see her Mikey-Wikey. "I owe Judd big time because this is the second time he's given me a sweet reward and shared a sweet reward with me." Well, I'm sure Steph will repay him somehow. She'll never stab him in the back, I'm sure. Right? Judd even told his wife that Steph's gonna take him to the final two if all goes well. This caused Kristen to pat him on the cheeks excitedly. Looks like it's all gonna work out for Judd! But wait! That monkey in the tree sure looks shifty. Does he know something we don't know? The monkeys know all.

Meanwhile, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia returned to their old campsite, and as the three wandered around, the dizzying thought of a brand new alliance danced in my head. Could it happen? Lydia and Danni were already somewhat bound to each other. Could they bring Rafe with them? Well, all signs pointed to yes. You see, Rafe was not a big Judd fan, but couldn't exactly vote against him lest he destroy his alliance with Stephenie. There was only one move for Rafe. "We need to catch Judd in some kind of lie so that we can show Steph because right now, she really, really trusts him," he said. Uh, didn't they already catch Judd in a lie? You know, at Tribal Council? The immunity idol fiasco? Anyone? Anyone?

Nevertheless, Rafe finally concluded, "You can't trust a person like Judd. But you can trust that you can't trust him." He then added, "Also, you can't trust that you can't trust that you can trust that you can't trust him. And you can trust that you can't trust that you can't trust that you can't trust that you can trust..." It went on for about two hours.

Normally, I'd say all this Rafe and Danni talk was just massive Mark Burnett misdirection, but back at the other camp, Judd's wife proudly announced, "It looks like you guys will really be the final four." Hmmm... those sort of heady proclamations never seem to work out. The only thing more certain of backfiring is when one person tells us point-blank who will be voted out next. And of course, that's exactly what Judd then did. He revealed that Danni was next to go, and if she somehow won immunity, it would be Lydia. "I'm so glad this worked out this way," he added, full of hubris. Well, I guess this means Danni and Lydia are staying. Sweet!

The next morning, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia returned to camp, and as the loved-ones headed off, Judd waxed poetically about seeing his wife: "It's like eatin' twenty-five White Castle cheeseburgers, man." He then added, "I can't wait to see my daughter. That'll be like three bags of Cheetohs, a burrito, and some onion rings."

Posted by B-side on December 3, 2005 3:39 AM