The show began on the cold, dark Casaya beach. As usual, Courtney and Shane were bickering, this time over beddings and whatnot. Basically, Courtney wanted more blanket, and Shane didn't want to give it to her. This led to assorted pissy comments, with Courtney ultimately turning away and trying to sleep -- visions of beached tortoises filling her dreams.

The next morning, Courtney complained to any person and/or hermit crab in a five yard radius about how cold and wet she was the night before. I did feel badly for her. It was bad enough that she had to sleep in the cold and rain, but then to have be nestled next to Shane and his man-stank? I don't wish that on anyone. Courtney then explained how everyone was huddled together, but when she tried to join in, Shane just kept elbowing her away. To be fair, he thought she was a giant tarantula trying to steal his thinking stump. Did I mention that Shane's crazy?

Later, we found Bruce cleaning up his zen garden, much to the amusement of Aras. You'd think a yoga instructor would have more respect for Bruce's spirituality, but then again, you'd also think a yoga instructor would, you know, do yoga once in a while too.

Meanwhile, over on Exile Island, Sally was still chilling out, waiting to be reunited with someone, anyone. She passed the time by sunning on top of that skull structure and occasionally digging holes in the ground. You'd think she was looking for the immunity idol (which Terry had already found), but little known fact: when bored, Sally actually digs holes for fun. Okay, I made that up, but I could totally imagine it.

Over at La Mina, the guys looked like they all might just keel over and die. Well, at least Austin and Nick. Terry was doing fine, as always. Their morning of malaise was soon broken up by a mysterious message that urged them to search the island for some luxury item. This excited the men greatly, with Austin proclaiming, "Marvin Gaye said it best, 'Let's get it on up in this piece!'" Not sure if those are authentic lyrics, what with the whole "up in this piece" bit there, but yes, I'm sure Marvin Gaye was referring to a treasure hunt in Panama when he wrote that song. I'm surprised Austin didn't then say, "Well, time to start searching. Or to quote the legendary 50 Cent, 'We'll be up in dis bitch 'till we break daylight.'"

Well, the guys roamed around, eventually finding a boat moored on the beach. On this little vessel was some firewood and a crate which couldn't be opened until La Mina merged with Casaya. Did you hear that? Merge! Well, since La Mina had become so La Worthless, the guys had to hop in the boat and paddle all the way to their rivals' beach. The guys packed everything up and immediately began talking strategy. Basically, they needed to switch someone over from Casaya -- and seeing how fractured Casaya was, this shouldn't be difficult. If La Mina couldn't shake things up, they were all a bunch of idiots. Ace in the hole, right? Right?

Anyway, the guys decided they would prey on Shane and Bruce. Terry, meanwhile, had his own strategies to deal with. He had to figure out what role his hidden immunity idol would play. You see, he didn't want to use it until he reached the final four, but he noted, "if I need to use that thing strategically, then I'll do it." Uh, what other way is there to use it? As a shovel? A night charm?

Finally, the La Mina guys left camp -- all to the sound of soaring, triumphant music. With all the fanfare, I thought Astronaut Dan might be returning for a second, but no. His pale figure did not emerge from the bush. The men then rowed across the sea, and as they approached Casaya, Austin commented, "I'm ready to meet some new personalities, get in there, start bobbing and weaving like Sugar Ray Leonard." Seriously, he's really going for the forced black celebrity analogies today, isn't he?

Over at Casaya, the camp was in a state of total boredom. Their afternoon soon sparked to life as La Mina appeared on the horizon. Well, new guests coming to camp -- what to do? "All of us just chowed the rice 'cause, 'cause we're heathens, and we didn't want to share," Aras laughed. Gotta love that Survivor spirit! Shane then called the group together and made a quick pep talk about sticking together. Yeah, we'll see how he feels five minutes from now when he's hungry again.

Anyway, Terry, Nick, and Austin all arrived at the camp and were greeted with phony hugs and smiles. "They just welcomed us into their home!" Nick happily (read: naively) observed. Poor Nick. He's just entered the innermost circle of hell. Moments later, another vessel showed up at the beaches, and our flaxen gal Sally hopped off, also joining the tribe. Wow! Everyone was together! This was the best Brady reunion ever!

Posted by B-side on March 31, 2006 2:52 PM