Hairy Girls and Big Boxes - 
by B-side
After some cutesy winking from Erin and a few more defenses from Angie, Chris suddenly piped up angry as ever. I love how you never see the anger boiling in him. It just is suddenly there. I don't remember what prompted him to say it, but out of nowhere Chris was jamming his index finger into the table and yelling "THAT IS 100% TRUE!" He even had that angry scowl on his face that we've all come to love. You know, the one that looks like a cat defending its territory. Hissssss!
Around this time, Angie tried to make a point, but in her exasperation, she wound up saying "Yes sir, honey." Did she just call Trump "honey"? That's somewhat odd. I suppose it's less inappropriate than Erin's chronic winking problem. Nevertheless, the attention returned to Chris who continued to face wrath for his chewing tobacco problem. You'd think he would have stopped two episodes ago when he first faced scrutiny for it, but no, it turns out the only thing that can tame the beast is a tin of Skoal. Trump grilled Chris with all sorts of questions about his tobacco use. "Do you use a spittoon? You swallow it?" he asked over and over again. The gross discovery here was that Chris actually does swallow his spit if he has no container to dispose of it. Man, that is disgusting. There's a reason why people call it "spit". Even Carolyn had to hang her head in repulsion upon hearing this sordid detail.
Nevertheless, Angie sent Stephanie back up to the suite where she could "look at the moon", as Trump said. He then added "The moon is the fastest growing retailer in the country. Last year, the moon took in $85 billion in profits. It's big, people."
While the candidates waited outside, Carolyn and George both voiced their support for Angie, saying she was the one who carried the team. Later, when everyone had returned to the boardroom, Trump alerted the Project Manager that she most likely would not be fired based on the high vote of confidence from his advisors. Unless she says something really dumb, chances are, she'll be okay. Hmmm... We'll see how that goes. Next, it was time to light a fire under Chris and Erin. "Don't you think Erin's better than you?" asked The Donald instigatingly. True to form, Chris responded with pure hellfire, yelling "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" He then spat venom at the panel and ripped Erin's head off.
Actually, that didn't happen, but Trump got on his tobacco kick once again, saying he doesn't want a guy working for him who chews tobacco. He may have been jokey about it before, but we could tell he was fairly serious this time around. Chris promised to quit, and if he's caught chewing again, he could then be fired. Man, and we thought Chris was irritable BEFORE withdrawal...
Of course, it's not just us bloggers who've noticed Chris's uncontrollable rage. "Don't you have an anger problem?" asked Trump. Chris deflected the question, yelling "NO, I DON'T! I'M VERY AGGRESSIVE SIR!" He then added "I AM QUITE A HAPPY PERSON. ANGER IS A FOREIGN NOTION TO ME. NO ONE COULD BE MORE PLEASANT THAN ME! NO ONE! THAT IS A PROMISE SIR. THAT IS A PROMISE!"
Luckily for Chris, the spotlight soon returned to Angie as Trump questioned the once safe PM as to why she didn't have Erin present in the clinic. Angie tried to defend herself, but Trump came down viciously, and not in his jokey way either. In the background, the music began revving up, and suddenly the unthinkable seemed to happen. Was Angie going to get fired? Was this all brilliant misdirection onto Erin? All that "Erin's as quick as a whip stuff" — was that just misdirection on the misdirection? Trump said that he wasn't very happy with Angie, that she'd made some bad decisions, and yet Carolyn and George say she's great, "and I have to listen to them."
"Do you have to?" asked Erin with a wink and a smile. Smart move, dumbass. Insult Trump's two most trusted advisors. "You're a real wiseguy," replied Trump, prompting Carolyn to chime in with "That was a dumb statement. That was a dumb statement." George merely performed the sidekick role in its basic form, only saying "Yeah." And just like that, Trump fired Erin. Ouch. I guess she wins idiot of the week for successfully redirecting the blame from her onto Angie, and then stupidly bringing it back onto herself again by dissing George and Carolyn. Erin stomped out of the boardroom, but then suddenly paused at the door. I figured she'd something like "Can you please lift up your chair? My hair is caught under it," but instead she continued onwards, revealing that her Rapunzel locks were in fact unencumbered.
Afterwards, in the cab home, Erin tried to make light of the situation by hurling several lame power tool puns our way. I didn't bother to write down the exact quotes because they were so dumb, but needless to say, they had something to do with her lack of knowledge on the subject of power saws cut her off at the knees; getting fired was like a nailgun in the heart. Eventually though, she assured us that "All is well in Erin-land," which is awesome because in about six months from now when she realizes she's not the model she thinks she is, she's probably gonna be depressed, suicidal, or at least shedding her dignity in Playboy. Cheers!
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Comments
ROFLMAO
I don't know if it's my Chocolate Easter Egg high but that was one of the best recaps you've done, B-side!
I'm still laffing about the gumby poncho and the last pic of Erin is priceless!
Posted by: Retroqueen | March 27, 2005 3:04 PM(#1 of 36)
Bren had a great joke about the box having a second use as a coffin for pets. I give Erin 4 months and I'll throw in drug addiction or alcohol abuse.
Posted by: GNARKILL | March 27, 2005 3:06 PM(#2 of 36)
Awe, I want a puppy cart.
Anyways. isn't it funny how Kendra first called the box a "junk trunk" and then her quote in the Home Depot commercial is "The neatest thing ever!"? I wonder why the "junk trunk" quote didn't make the cut.
Also, I think Chris goes crazy in next weeks episode when they make pizza. That should be a good one.
Posted by: Lisa | March 27, 2005 4:21 PM(#3 of 36)
Three best parts: 1) Bren doing the worm with that look of utter joy, 2) Stephanie's Joker-esque mouth when she concurred with something Angie said in the boardroom (seriously, check that stuff out on freeze-frame), and 3) Erin stomping out of the boardroom petulantly, as though her ass suddenly grew three sizes as she tried to stomp out cigarette butts on the ground.
Oh, I love Chris's uncontrollable rages. LOVE IT!
Posted by: Jess | March 27, 2005 4:23 PM(#4 of 36)
I liked when Erin kept making a fuss about Chris' language and said something to Trump like 'You wouldn't EVER do that would you?" and he said he would, and does often.
Posted by: TinkerbellAPixie | March 27, 2005 5:15 PM(#5 of 36)
Let's seriously hope Chris dumps his chewing tobacco habit before the pizza episode, although Chris in withdrawal could be a reality show all in itself.
I also thought Erin's pushoff from the table when they all left the boardroom the first time around was 'interesting'. For once her hair seemed to be tamed by her cleavage.
Posted by: laska | March 27, 2005 5:35 PM(#6 of 36)
Jess - your second and third points are totally true. In fact, I was going to comment on them, but I forgot. Maybe I'll get that still of Stephanie though.
Posted by: b-side | March 27, 2005 5:41 PM(#7 of 36)
so what is the deal with Alex? Is he a big homo or what? And what's with those ears? GET THOSE SHITS PINNED BACK, GIRL! Also, Donald mentioned once that Stephanie's father is a multi-millionaire...so how come she hasn't had that wart removed from the middle of her nose? LANCE THAT SHIT OFF, GIRL! Finally, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish annoying Stacy from last season a Happy Purim. I fantasized last night about her sticking her nose in my ass and sneezing me across the room. It's just something that I like to think about when I'm doing my private thing.
Posted by: the ghost of Ivana | March 27, 2005 6:42 PM(#8 of 36)
I love that Trump made them all wear hardhats at the project site even though Trump and the advisors were all bare-headed. Do you think he tries to make them look as silly as possible every episode?
Great Recap!
Posted by: Becky | March 27, 2005 6:44 PM(#9 of 36)
when they were all wearing the hard hats, some of the women had them put on the backs of their heads, so they wouldn't ruin their hair. they looked so stupid. erin of course and stephanie. it reminded me of graduation caps when those certain girls would wear the cap all the way at the back of their head as not to disturb the bangs....
Posted by: perry | March 27, 2005 8:12 PM(#10 of 36)
My two favorite moments:
1) Erin flashing Trump her cleavage as she stood up from the table after being selected to come back
2) The quick closeup of Angie -- without makeup -- in the suite before the boardroom. I had thought she was holding up all right for 40something, but it turns out that, yikes, the years of smoking have indeed taken a toll; I thought that I was looking at the side of a leather saddlebag...
BTW, how old is Stephanie, really? She looks anywhere between 22-45 depending on the camera angle!
Posted by: dumbanddumber | March 27, 2005 9:34 PM(#11 of 36)
Don't forget about Chris referring to a spittoon as a "splittoon". Class.
Posted by: josh | March 27, 2005 10:16 PM(#12 of 36)
This wasn't a bad episode. You know, every time I have the candidates pegged for possibly winning, or losing out, I end up being wrong.
1. I thought Bren would have been fired within the first 5 weeks for being so old-fashioned. Or they'd get on him due to his looks. Yet, he is up to EVERY task. He even survived that horrid commercial, with ironically, the help of Erin.
2. Tana's switch over to the other team has done nothing but benefit her. Now she be winnin'!
3. Well, there goes any thought of Erin going from barbie doll to being the next Apprentice.
4. Why has Chris lasted this long? He seems to be dodging bullets in the boardroom more often than Angie. Trump just loves to poke fun at his chewing tobacco habit.
5. I thought John(the Tim Curry look-alike) had potential. Guess not.
Posted by: British | March 28, 2005 6:23 AM(#13 of 36)
Perry
I had the same exact thought about the hard hats and graduation caps.
Great re-cap b-side
Posted by: Betsy | March 28, 2005 6:37 AM(#14 of 36)
Heard some good Apprentice gossip on the radio this morning. According to either the NY Times or NY Daily News, the producers found a male contestant snorting coke in the bathroom of the loft, but said it was too late in the game to get rid of him, and they didnt know if other people there were doing it too. It said to watch the next episode (pizza task) and look for the guy who says he isnt hungry. Thought I'd share :)
Good recap, funny as hell as always. Im so glad Erin is gone, I was sick of looking at her awful hair.
Posted by: Katrina | March 28, 2005 7:25 AM(#15 of 36)
Did anyone else think it was very odd that Trump would ask the Home Depot execs their names? B-side, I know you eluded to it in your recap, but it's Trump's show...he should have asked them their names before they started filming that scene!
Posted by: chipdale | March 28, 2005 8:00 AM(#16 of 36)
So Omarosa and her stupid "plaster fell on my head and I'm such a poor victim" routine had an unforeseen positive consequence--now the contestants must wear hardhats and we get to see "barbies" like Erin looking all the more ridiculous for trying to wear the hardhat on the back of the head. Erin was unbelievably dumb. Did she honestly think the winking and insulting George and Carolyn to their faces was going to win her points?
Posted by: SusieQ | March 28, 2005 8:16 AM(#17 of 36)
Coke? Bathroom? Anger? Chris?
BTW, did anyone else, I'm mean, besides my wife, notice that Erin changed shoes from the time she left the boardroom to when whe exited the building? Just wondering?
Posted by: erinshair | March 28, 2005 8:45 AM(#18 of 36)
I saw on one of those VH1 shows -- Inside Reality Shows, or something like that -- that they film everyone walking out of the building into the cabs the first day or something.
That if you look carefully at the cab numbers, there are only like two or three cabs used. They would film the person walking out and getting into the cab, then the next person (using the next cab), then the next person (using the first cab again), etc. That's why you may see discrepencies between what they're wearing as they leave the boardroom and what they're wearing as they get into the cab. The only change must have been last season when Wes and Maria left together. They must have had to scrap the original filming of the single exits and actually get them leaving together.
Posted by: Hayley | March 28, 2005 9:03 AM(#19 of 36)
Erinshair, I believe that they pre-record various exit scenes and edit the right person's in later, which is why in past seasons hairdos and clothing colors have changed between the boardroom and taxi. I would imagine Erin's shoes are the same thing.
Posted by: SusieQ | March 28, 2005 9:31 AM(#20 of 36)
What has always bothered me by the fact that they pre-record the exit scenes is that they always have their coats on (to hide their clothes and prevent continuity errors), yet, when they get into the elevator after the boardroom, they don't have their coats with them. If they want us to believe that the elevator will lead right to the first floor instead of the suite, when do they have time to go and get their coats?
Posted by: Lisa | March 28, 2005 9:51 AM(#21 of 36)
IIRC there's no multi-floor setup between the suite/boardroom etc, so it's probably just a quick jaunt to the suite to get the coat.
Everything is staged when it comes to suites/elevators, etc. That was also in the documentary.
Posted by: British | March 28, 2005 10:42 AM(#22 of 36)
I've heard that, too, British. The boardroom is on the first floor but back in the 1st season, someone thought the "up" versus "down" elevator concept would be a good way to illustrate the difference boardroom survivors versus the loser. But of course the most noticeable and obvious continuity in editing issues come from the Donald voice-overs during the boardroom scenes when they clearly dub in new words from him over the footage so that the contestants' facial expressions aren't even in reaction to what he actually said to them. That bothers me--surely they have the sound budget to at least even that out so that it's not so painfully obvious that his voice is dubbed in later!
Posted by: SusieQ | March 28, 2005 11:10 AM(#23 of 36)
Chris swallows!
Posted by: jaded | March 28, 2005 11:12 AM(#24 of 36)
Love how Erin left the boardroom in white shoes and left the building in black shoes.
Posted by: Lady J | March 28, 2005 1:31 PM(#25 of 36)
"IIRC there's no multi-floor setup between the suite/boardroom etc, so it's probably just a quick jaunt to the suite to get the coat."
You need to take into consideration that if they did go back to the suite to get their coats, why would the other people who didn't go to the boardroom be so surprised when the others who were not fired came back? Think about it.
But who knows, maybe the Trumpster has a coat rack next to the door in all of his buildings.
Posted by: Lisa | March 28, 2005 6:57 PM(#26 of 36)
Angie should get extra points just for putting up
with her team. Everyone seems to like Bren,but he
doesn't seem to contribute much except for humor
for us. I'd hire Kendra to my marketing in a flash,but I hope Tana wins it. The best of all would be an Apprentice behind the scenes show unedited. What really goes on in the suite? Shots of them all hammered being blithering idiots. Is the suite still divided by teams? Is anyone else getting sick of the tasks just promoting big name
companies that don't need the exposure and have
big budgets anyway? I'd love to see them each
promote a really unusual small business owned by
some eccentric person and see how it all panned
out. Great recaps here-thanks for the laughs!
Posted by: Liz | March 28, 2005 9:27 PM(#27 of 36)
"NOW WE BE FLYIN'!" -----I am laughing like shit now!!!
Posted by: Sam | March 29, 2005 1:34 AM(#28 of 36)
Liz, I agree about the tasks. The ratings are down a lot this season, in part because the show has gotten to be same old, same old. They do similar tasks each season.
As to the question of if the suite is divided by teams, we saw a bit about that last week with the discussions over moving rooms and Tana talking about wanting to stay near Craig in the suite. It would be interesting to know who rooms with who and so forth.
Posted by: SusieQ | March 29, 2005 7:31 AM(#29 of 36)
That pic posted of Erin is both priceless and scary!
Posted by: couchpotato | March 29, 2005 12:17 PM(#30 of 36)
Who is more BEAUTIFUL?
ERIN:
A former beauty queen who created some sort of "electricity" with Trump
AUDREY:
She was hated by everybody because she was sooooooo "beautiful". She even wanted to scar her face so that nobody hates her....
Posted by: Beauty Queen | March 30, 2005 1:17 AM(#31 of 36)
Who is more BEAUTIFUL?
ERIN:
A former beauty queen who created some sort of "electricity" with Trump
AUDREY:
She was hated by everybody because she was sooooooo "beautiful". She even wanted to scar her face so that nobody hates her....
Posted by: Beauty Queen | March 30, 2005 1:18 AM(#32 of 36)
Angie is so sexy!
She's really the "MILF"!
Tana, please return your title to Angie!
Posted by: MILF | March 30, 2005 3:16 AM(#33 of 36)
I don't know if anyone mentioned this yet, but I couldn't believe Erin referred to herself as a "26-year-old POWERHOUSE corporate attorney"...She even winced as she was saying it...
Posted by: 00spark00 | March 31, 2005 1:24 PM(#34 of 36)
I don't know if anyone mentioned this yet, but I couldn't believe Erin referred to herself as a "26-year-old POWERHOUSE corporate attorney"...She even winced as she was saying it...Carolyn RULES!
Posted by: 00spark00 | March 31, 2005 1:25 PM(#35 of 36)
And do you notice how the UP elevator always comes first, so that the fired one has that uncomfortable moment of watching the other two go up, and then just standing there waiting...
Posted by: 00spark00 | March 31, 2005 1:34 PM(#36 of 36)