Tana Likes Rhinestones, Alex Likes Studs - 
by B-side
We then were treated to the obligatory reward scene as the two teammates went head to head in a really elaborate game of laser tag (seriously, what is up with The Apprentice sending winners into the sky this season?). In an interview, Craig proudly dissed Kendra with one of those put downs that sounds cool but actually makes no sense whatsoever. Basically, he boasted that he could take down Kendra in aerial combat, adding "I can do that without a plane." Uh, how? With thirty seagulls and a BB Gun? Actually, I would definitely want to see that. But unfortunately for Craig, after all his nonsensical trash talking, it was Kendra who shot him down. I didn't hear what his response was, but I'm sure it was something like "She can shoot me down, but can she do it with a shoe? I don't think so."
Meanwhile, Tana and Alex retreated to their separate corners of the apartment to prep for the Boardroom. Alex informed us why he'd emerge victoriously: "I'm smarter than Tana, and I'm harder than Tana." Oh really? Was Brad Pitt in the room? Rimshot! Too easy, Alex. Too easy. (You see, I was making an erection joke and-- oh I shouldn't explain? Never mind).
Anyway, the dynamic duo finally made their way to the Boardroom, and I instantly feared for Tana's future on the show as she bravely sported a leather miniskirt into Donald's lair. Things seemed to get worse for our plucky Mary Kay saleswoman as she talked entirely too much about the Bedazzler and rhinestones and beads. Alex appropriately bashed her for going to Staten Island and neglecting marketing. However, he lost some footing with a few of his arguments. First he claimed that Tana did a bad job of delegating. Delegating? On a two person team? Luckily, George had the same reaction. When Tana blamed Alex for failing with the marketing, he claimed that there was never a clear decision that he was responsible for that area. He then said his only duties were signs and flyers. You know, what we normally call MARKETING!
Eventually, it dwindled down to a he said/she said scenario about the marketing, and while there were holes in Alex's logic, I have to say, my woman Tana was simply falling apart in the Boardroom. She seemed to have all the wrong answers. As she and her teammate headed out to the lobby during the deliberations, Tana woefully stated, "They didn't like my beads." Good god, Tana! GET OVER THE BEADS. If she gets fired over a Bedazzler, that would be entirely too embarrassing for words.
Well, truth was she was right about the beads. Trump couldn't stand them, and in fact, he was furious that Tana went to Staten Island to get them. Furthermore, he feared that she simply was too nice for his organization. When the two candidates returned, Trump grilled Tana some more about the beads, and she tried to explain how valuable they were, but it only served to annoy the boss man even more. He eventually leveled with her that he wasn't sure how she could deal with the heavy hitters in the Trump organization when all she wanted to do was add rhinestones to t-shirts. Then suddenly, it was as if Tana realized it was time to get serious because out of nowhere, she transformed from sweet Mary Kay saleswoman to ruthless competitor, and I have to say, it was fairly exhilarating. I mean, anytime someone becomes a ruthless fighter (flashbacks to Sandy vs. Jen and Andy last season), it's oddly thrilling; so imagine my delight when one of my favorite contestants suddenly kicked into high gear.
Tana immediately enumerated several reasons why she wouldn't be intimidated by affluent, important business people. Then she clearly, calmly, and succinctly reiterated her track record in life, ultimately saying that she wanted to work for Trump. Oh, one more thing: "And my record is better than Alex's," she said, suddenly bringing the A-game SLAM out of nowhere. "I was a Project Manager three times, and I won two times, one of them was a defeat over Alex." OUCH! Tana with the finishing move!
Suddenly, it was as if Alex was completely thrown off his game. He became a stuttering mess, and when Trump asked him about his record, he fibbed and said he had only lost once as a Project Manager. When called out on his lie (he'd lost twice), Alex claimed that he had simply forgotten and then tried to act like he now remembered. Even worse, he tried to pull some lame comparison to the New Jersey Generals that really made no sense whatsoever. Trump finally woke up to what we'd been seeing all along and fired Alex's ass, saying that he seemed to be coasting along, letting other people screw up to make him look better. Wow, what a turn of events. I love the Boardroom.
Anyway, Alex made his walk of shame to the cab, and shockingly, Trump didn't even bother to make his usual remarks like "He's a good kid." Wow. He must HATE Alex! As for our latest fallen contestant, he seemed very happy as he climbed into his taxi (which nearly collided with a passing car). Alex claimed he had all sorts of entrepreneurial ideas in his head (hopefully none involving design), and now that he's been fired, he felt "released." Yes, one might say he's "free", or perhaps "liberated", or maybe "out of the closet".
Tonight we're down to the final three, and I'd be shocked if Craig makes it beyond the interview stage, what with his inability to speak English. Then again, you just never know what will happen. Poor Kevin last year got screwed over for being too qualified. Maybe Craig's marble mouth and bow tie will win over the execs.
What do you think? Should Alex have been fired? Who deserves to make it to the Final Two?
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Comments
I think its gonna be kendra that walks away with the job. I like tana but she only seems good at 'focus groups' - a skill that i doubt will be much use for a high flying exec. Kendra has consistently proven she can think outside the box and for that i think she will get the job.
p.s ace recap for a show thats being raped by TAR!
Posted by: empty | May 5, 2005 2:03 AM(#1 of 35)
haha, that was Kendra who's father is in the airforce. Craig's eyes just dilated in shock giving an extremely creepy bug-eyed stare. As for the metrosexual, It sounded like he seriously had to the bathroom when he proclaimed that he had all types of fire in his belly. Thank god he's finally gone.
I can't wait to see which firees come back for the finale. I heard that the final two (probably not craig) are going to hate who they are going to get for the final task. I'm betting they at least bring back Kristen, Danny, Chris, and Lazy Michael. They were all ratings boosters. I somehow think Tanas going to win, I don't know how, but I can see her turning things around.
Posted by: Robin | May 5, 2005 2:11 AM(#2 of 35)
Actually Robin, Kendra's father was in fact the top gun instructor. I had double checked with the ole tivo before writing that comment.
Anyway, I think if Michael Tarshi and Kristin return for the finale, that will be an enormous trainwreck. Can't wait!
Posted by: B-Side | May 5, 2005 3:01 AM(#3 of 35)
Craig and Tana...but only because I have no idea how Kendra's whiny ass made it this far. Talk about being under the radar....
Posted by: karsh | May 5, 2005 3:50 AM(#4 of 35)
I kind of would have liked one of the guys to have done an air snap like Agador Spartacus and yelled "You no the boss of me, Mr. big hair Trump man!" Hilarious, B-Side!
Did it bother anyone else that the flag on Net Worth's design was backwards?!
Posted by: Alli | May 5, 2005 4:54 AM(#5 of 35)
ah, nevermind my comment. I was too bedazzled to even notice that Craig was bragging about his dad too.
I would love to see Chris and Kristen get into a little heated argument about nothing on the final task. Now that would be entertainment.
B-Side, you should also create one of those little video clips containing all of Chris's outbursts. The one that you did you for Maria last season was hilarious :-)
Posted by: Robin | May 5, 2005 4:59 AM(#6 of 35)
WTF. The Apprentice came on last night!?!
Posted by: America's Next Top Fan | May 5, 2005 6:00 AM(#7 of 35)
Look at the extended taxicab confession by Alex on the yahoo site. Alex said he liked it when George "was pounding him".
Okay, he meant in boardroom bickering, but taken out of context, helloooooo!
Posted by: British | May 5, 2005 6:28 AM(#8 of 35)
I will give Tana credit for lookin' good in the black leather skirt at the boardroom. the MILF thing has clearly got to her head.
Posted by: British | May 5, 2005 6:42 AM(#9 of 35)
Karsh... I don't see how Kendra being "whiny" is even relevant. While it may be the case, she's a brilliant business woman. Since the mini golf episode where she cleverly thought up a great marketing scheme AND roadblocked the other team at the same time, she's been consistently better than the rest.
She may seem like she's under the radar because she's not being a camera whore, she's there to do the job.
Craig's a useless ass. I can't believe he's still there.
Kendra and Tana to the end, Kendra should take it, but Tana wouldn't be a disappointment either.
Great recap, and great screencaps of the staring contest!
Posted by: MischaCantAct | May 5, 2005 6:57 AM(#10 of 35)
Worth the wait, B-Side my man, worth the wait. So glad I am at home reading this and not in my office, snort-laughing.
Yeah, sadly, I don't think Craig will make it past the talking round of the competion, b/k/a: interviews. Another black man bites the dust at the top three. But unlike Kevin, Craig doesn't really cut it. I don't like Kendra any better, she's just way childish and annoying. I like Tana, but she just is not polished enough for corporate America-she's too homeroom mom-ish. Also, anybody who wears a LEATHER SUIT to a boardroom is just ghetto- I don't care if he or she is from Iowa. But if the job is a real estate sales position, like it has been in the past, Tana would be a good choice.
Posted by: joslyn | May 5, 2005 7:00 AM(#11 of 35)
karsh, Kendra hasn't been under the radar in terms of performance. She wasn't under the radar in figuring out the best marketing strategy for the golf task, in singlehandedly designing, writing, and pulling together the winning brochure for Pontiac, or in coming up with the great idea of contacting the artist's fans and galleries about the t-shirt.
Tana has been a favorite of mine, but between the cocky, lazy attitude she showed during the Pontiac task and the ridiculous, over-the-top obsession with rhinestones she showed this past week, I just can't see her doing a real-life corporate job without annoying everyone around her. Kendra isn't the best communicator, and she has shown some immaturity by playing Craig's passive aggressive, hateful, bs games, but she's got potential.
Posted by: Ashes | May 5, 2005 7:26 AM(#12 of 35)
If anyone has been under the radar it's Craig. If his team had lost any of the last three or four challenges he'd probably have been gone. He is clueless and useless. This week should be funny with his ability to talk himself into circles. Should be fun to watch him try to talk "grown up" talk in the interviews only to confuse not only himself but the interviewer as well. There was one clip from the previews that showed one of the interviewers with a perplexed look on their face, what do you want to bet they were talking with Craig? My pick for final two is Kendra and Tana.
Rick D.
Posted by: Rick D. | May 5, 2005 7:27 AM(#13 of 35)
I don't remember anything spectacular from Kelly(guy) last season. He was REALLY under the radar for all the tasks, letting everyone get the spotlight and eventually fired. Eerily quiet, yet he won, and the put it on his spreadsheet.
Posted by: British | May 5, 2005 7:57 AM(#14 of 35)
Trump has nearly admitted that he'll hire a woman this time around. Just last week he said that there's a "strong possibility" that the winner will be female. If the final two are both women, that would guarantee it even if he doesn't make his final decision until live on the air (not that I believe he actually waits to make it.) If Craig weren't a loser jerk with very little talent or ability, I wouldn't be so quick to believe Trump's hype, but there is no semi-decent male contender left.
Posted by: Ashes | May 5, 2005 8:05 AM(#15 of 35)
Though I find this season entertaining, I think these three are the least qualified people for the endgame I have ever seen. All three are just huge boneheads. But I think the pool was shallow this season, altogether.
Posted by: Kirby | May 5, 2005 8:11 AM(#16 of 35)
The staring contest pictures had me laughing for a long time.
Can he hire someone from the last two seasons? It seems to me that none of the three that are left, are really qualified.
Posted by: is | May 5, 2005 8:31 AM(#17 of 35)
You know it's going to be Kendra and Tana in the final because NBC is dying to beat their book smarts/street smarts gimmick to an endlessly repeated death.
STREET SMARTS!!! BOOK SMARTS!!! WHO WILL WIN???!!! BLAH BLAH BILLION DOLLAR BLAH!!!
Of course I have no proof.
Posted by: NB | May 5, 2005 9:35 AM(#18 of 35)
Funniest recap of all time.
Posted by: po | May 5, 2005 9:42 AM(#19 of 35)
little did all you bastards in my fraternity make jokes about me and the bedazzler know that it would take center stage in a prime time crown jewel of reality tv.
i am so forward thinking.
i was v v worried tana would be out since she CLEARLY deserves to remain (bedazzler infatuation notwithstanding) over lame ass loser Alex.
and seriously, at the start when he was packing--i dont know any straight OR gay men with that many belts.
Posted by: jash | May 5, 2005 9:54 AM(#20 of 35)
GO TANA! This woman has got the goods. She may have tripped up on this task but she has been the one shining star this season. She's got the personality, the business smarts (notwithstanding the Bedazzler debacle)and the focus. Craig is a blithering idiot who would be sure to be an embarassment to trump and Kendra is just too inexperienced. Tana is it!!
Posted by: graceintherace | May 5, 2005 9:55 AM(#21 of 35)
If Kendra and Tana make it to the final 2, this will of course make history as Trump will hire a woman for the first time since this show started.
But once again, a black person falls out. Now, I'm still waiting for a colored homosexual to make it on the show, ala polynesian bisexual with a drinking problem (Real World anyone?).
Posted by: tribecatexan | May 5, 2005 10:04 AM(#22 of 35)
b-side, thank you for referencing agador spartacus. thank you.
Posted by: swarn | May 5, 2005 10:51 AM(#23 of 35)
At the beginning of the season I wanted desperately for the winner to be female or of color. Here we sit at the end of the season with two women and a black man and I'm still disappointed. Apparantly I should have been clearer with my desire and made sure I noted that they needed to be qualified also.
Remember when Kwame and Kevin didn't get hired because they were TOO educated. Bet we're rethinking that one with Craig.
Posted by: Bill | May 5, 2005 10:55 AM(#24 of 35)
quotes from our boy Alex's interview with TV guide (http://tvguide.com/news/insider/050505a.asp)
Then Bren and Chris got in a cab and went home and slept for three hours. So I slept two hours less than they did. All three of us worked more hours than Kendra. I'm like, "Whatever, honey. Don't even talk about working late hours." Anytime we were on a task, we would send the girls home, Bren would smoke, I would drink coffee and we'd finish the job.
whatever honey!!
Posted by: Gaydar | May 5, 2005 11:42 AM(#25 of 35)
Gaydar, I also liked how Alex talked about the "old Alex" showing up occasionally. He said that the old Alex had long hair and was a ski dude who said things like "hella long," as in Tana's trip to get the beads was hella long. What a dork (old and new versions.)
Posted by: Ashes | May 5, 2005 2:10 PM(#26 of 35)
Ahhh Kendra. She is defintely the hardest worker left on the show & quite brillant when it comes to ideas. I feel that the intewrview process may kill her in the end, although I'd like to see an underdog take the big prize!
Good luck to ya K!
Posted by: D.Erb | May 5, 2005 2:13 PM(#27 of 35)
I'm rooting for Tana but do think Kendra has some smarts .... if only she could reconcile her two year old child expressions with her adult brain ....can't honestly seen Kendra "managing" anybody at Trump since they've seen her at her childish worst
Posted by: Retroqueen | May 5, 2005 4:57 PM(#28 of 35)
i think Trump should fire all the contestants and revert to "none of these canidates are qualified" clause in the legal contracts i'm sure they signed. As for Tana, she's more of a MILTTOAW (mom i'd like to throw out a window).
Posted by: matt | May 5, 2005 7:48 PM(#29 of 35)
I was thinking of killing myself earlier this evening until your Re-Cap cheered me up! Thanks B-Side!!!
btw...don't wory about not knowing who Romero Britto is. His stuff is crap! The sure sign of a true "art poseur" is someone who owns anything by Britto.
Posted by: Stevo | May 5, 2005 9:27 PM(#30 of 35)
Okay, after tonights episode, they are really out to sabotage Tana, or they are trying to make her prove her (net)worth.
Chris is back! Kristen is back! I can't wait for them to fight. You know they will. AND THAT IS A FFFFACT!
Posted by: British | May 5, 2005 9:34 PM(#31 of 35)
Stevo - would it be safe to say that TVgasm saved your life?
Posted by: B-Side | May 5, 2005 11:42 PM(#32 of 35)
At least Craig is gone now. He thinks he was fired because he sucked at the interviews, but he's sucked all along. In the early stages when his team lost a few times, he hadn't done anything and so wasn't noticed to get fired. After the numbers dwindled and he was forced to actually do something, it became apparent that he sucks, but by that point his team kept winning, although never because of him. Had Craig's team lost even once in the past several weeks, he wouldn't have made top 3 and wouldn't have been able to deceive himself into believing he's the cream of the crop (not a good crop overall, but he wasn't even cream in the bad crop!)
Posted by: Ashes | May 6, 2005 7:11 AM(#33 of 35)
tribecatexan - Did you seriously just use the word "colored"? Wow!
Posted by: RealityTV4Me | May 6, 2005 7:35 AM(#34 of 35)
As I watched Alex's "taxicab confessional" last week, I couldn't help but think that he was on something... Was it ever confirmed who was the person caught doing coke in the suite? Me thinks our boy Alex got some on his way between the boardroom and the street. He was just a little too erratic and unfocused.
Posted by: mike | May 6, 2005 9:33 PM(#35 of 35)