Zathura! - 
by B-side
It's Friday morning. 3:17 AM to be exact, and I'm now finally sitting down to watch The Apprentice. In the interest of saving a little time and getting this post up on a Friday for once, I've decided to change things up a bit and liveblog the hour. It's bound to be a good one. After all, this is the episode that shamefully promotes Zenthura. I haven't even seen the show, and I've already spent the past six hours saying, "ZENTHURA!" It's almost as good as Steve Wynn's "LE RÊVE!" (I can't explain it. Just go to his website and hunt down "Le Rêve" in the shows category). One question: it is Zenthura, right? Right??
3:29 AM
Ah, reliving the last stand of Toral. So sad to see her go.
3:30 AM
Up in the suite, the guys expect Felisha to be fired. I think Felisha should have been fired -- for not being able to spell HER OWN NAME.
3:33 AM
You know, Marshawn is really strong and articulate. She basically tells the women to stop talking behind each other's backs. All the women agree. Cut to five minutes later: "OMG, did you see what Marshawn was wearing? What a bitch!"
3:34 AM
Ah, the early morning Rhona call. Alla steps out of the bedroom looking like an old woman in her layers of bathrobes and such. She picks up the banana phone and learns that Trump is very busy that morning, but he wants to meet everyone at 7:30 AM. ZENTHURA! Sorry, that was premature.
3:36 AM
Trump meets everyone at a park. No George this week, but we get Bill Rancic, who still looks like he just won his job about three hours earlier. Why don't Kelley or Kendra ever show up?
3:38 AM
Trump tells the women that they have the option to take someone from Excel. They get a minute to confer, but they already know who they want. Squidward! a.k.a. Randal a.k.a. Not Happy. "Shit!" mouths a frustrated Josh.
3:40 AM
Felisha says: "Capital Edge picked Randal for two reasons. 1) We thought he would be an asset to our team, and 2) we thought it would hurt the men's team to lose him." And of course reason number three: once you black, you never go back.
3:42 AM
Trump says that teams will be designing floats and working with Sony Pictures. On top of that, he adds that Sony Pictures is "one of the great movie pictures companies in the world." I'm sure the suits at NBC UNIVERSAL really liked that plug.
3:44 AM
Trump says that the movie is called "ZATHURA!" Wait? I've been calling it "Zenthura?" I've been pulling a Jen all this time? That's just embarrassing.
3:45 AM
Okay, this task is dumb. Build a float to "incorporate the spirit of the movie?" What's next? Gratuitous celebrity cameos from the stars?
3:47 AM
The answer to that last question: yes. Trump: "You'll meet with the director of the movie, John Favreau." Man, remember when that guy had cred? Daredevil and then Zathura? He's done.
3:49 AM
Josh is concerned that the women stole Randal. "Randal has our secret sauce," he says. Literally. They were planning on making Big Macs that afternoon.
3:53 AM
MONEY MATTERS! It's the big lesson of the week. And to demonstrate that point, we see Trump talking on the phone with Miss Universe sitting nearby. So you see, money does matter. Because without money, Miss Universe would never be sitting next to The Donald.
3:55 AM
Project Manager Brian says, "It was time for me to step up." Well, with the assistance of a small crate.
3:56 AM
Hey John Favreau: stop trying to be like your friend Ben Affleck. LOSE THE FACIAL HAIR.
Za-shave-that!
3:56 AM
Remember when John Favreau had cameos in cool shows like The Sopranos? How did he wind up in reality TV?
3:57 AM
"Can you tell us a little bit about the story of Zarutha?" Brian asks. Jon Favreau gives him a look like "WTF???" and says "Uh, Zarutha?" Yeah, Brian. What sort of a douchebag messes up the word "Zathura?" It just rolls off the tongue!
3:57 AM
ZENTHURA!
3:57 AM
I mean, ZARUTHA!
3:57 AM
Um, zathura.
4:00 AM
John Favreau explains to us, "The elephant in the living room on this project is it's a name that once you learn it, it's easy. But if you only hear it once, you're not going to remember the title." Actually, the elephant in the living room is how fat you've gotten. No offense.
4:01 AM
Favreau adds, "And a big part of why we're doing this is to teach people what the name of the film is." You don't have to teach us. We know what it is: ZENTHURA! Shit. Zathura.
4:02 AM
Tim Robbins is in Zenurethra? So much for his Za-Oscar.
4:03 AM
Josh explains the movie: "Zathura's a children's book about two brothers who find this board game. As soon as they open the board game, their house is actually uprooted from earth and becomes their spaceship, and they go on this wild adventure throughout the galaxy." Sounds like it's right up Meryl Streep's alley. What? She's not in this movie. Somebody fire her agent.
4:11 AM
Jennifer M. announces she'll be Project Manager. Just thought I'd share.
4:12 AM
Brian says he wants the audio on the float to say "Zathura" over and over and over again. Kind of like this episode?
4:14 AM
Uh oh. Markus not doing anything. Not being effective! Time to hate on him again! Brian has Markus fetch dinner. Markus tells us he's the "Teflon Player." I think he's dumb.
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