As for the Synergy banner, well, there were some problems. Off the bat, Trump could not believe that the guy was supposed to be the girl's father. He assumed boyfriend. Then again, unless there's an age difference of about forty-five years, he'll always think it's the boyfriend (right, Melania?). But in all fairness to The Donald, he was right on this one. The guy definitely looked like the girl's suitor, which obviously muddied Allie's all-important Daddy story. On top of this, the banner was cluttered with words and slogans (way to go, ANDREA), and the final nail in the coffin -- Sean's awful powerpoint presentation. Why there was a Powerpoint presentation is beyond me. All I know is that Sean stammered and stuttered through his notes until Trump finally put him and us out of our misery and stopped it.

Now it was time for the execs to deliberate. They had many issues with the Synergy banner for all the reasons listed above. Gold Rush, on the other hand, they labeled as "brilliant." It was so good that the male exec couldn't even resist a little dash of freestyle: "She says nutritious; the cereal says delicious!" To which I say, "The comment says rehearsed; the dumb grin says the worst." Man, rhyming is tricky. That Post exec really deserves more credit.

Well, for Gold Rush's reward, the team got to spend an afternoon cooking with world renowned chef, Jean Georges. Yay! This meant watching the teammates as they watched the chef toil around his kitchen, probably none too happy to have these outsiders in his domain. At one point, Jean added some vodka to a bowl, causing Lenny to predictably insist, "More! More! Don't stop!" He then added, "I'm Russian! And I'm stereotypical!"

Later, when Jean Georges had finished a plate, Lenny (oh Lenny) stopped the chef and insisted that he put on his own "finishing touches" to the plate. The surly Russian then dipped his finger in a bowl of cayenne pepper and sprinkled it around the plate. Yes, he garnished Jean Georges creation. It was fairly disrespectful and idiotic, buuuuttt... you gotta love Lenny for it.

"Theeese eees simple recipe. I learned when I was riding blimp!"

Meanwhile, back at the suite, we found Sean lying on his bed with Allie and Roxanne inexplicably draped over him. It was like the lamest ménage à trois of all time. They all mumbled about what would happen in the Boardroom, and Sean noted that they couldn't blame Brent for the team's failure because he'd been given nothing to do. In another room, however, Andrea was having absolutely no problem bending her logic to blame Brent for everything. According to her, the whole task was a team failure, and therefore, the weakest member of the team should be dropped. Why, that's a fine rationalization. We'll just overlook the terrible job you did with the graphics.

The passive aggressive battle for the bed continues...

Over course, Tammy completely agreed with Andrea, saying that Brent was rude and overbearing. It's true. He really is rude. He's always going around and putting people down based on how much money they earn. Oh wait, that was Andrea who did that. Hmmm... I know Brent did something rude recently. Oh yes. He ate four bagels at once! There are starving people in Africa. His brazen disregard for them was totally uncalled for. RUDE!

With everyone gunning for him, Brent wasn't concerned. He knew he'd survive. "I will be back -- stronger, more powerful than ever," he announced. And by "stronger, more powerful than ever" he meant "sweaty."

In the Boardroom, Brent was actually kept out of the fray. Trump, George, and Ivanka preyed on the various things that went wrong, like the graphics. George was particularly mad about all the clutter on the banner. "There were words all over it. Different texts. Different fonts... Who DID that??" He HATES lots of fonts. I'm surprised he didn't yell, "Back in my day, there was only one font, and you USED it! And if you didn't like it, tough luck! That's how WE ran a soda jerk!"

As for the slogan, Tammy said it was a good one, but then took about five minutes to recite it, possibly forgetting it along the way. Ivanka, meanwhile, seemed swept away by the other team's billboard. "It was... it was exciting," she said, her mind perhaps wandering off to some daydream where she's lying on a beach in Curacao, sipping Piña Coladas with the banner.

I thought Tammy might get some heat for her job as Project Manager, but in fact, everyone seemed to like her, even Roxanne, who I like to think of as the "normal" person on the team. Roxanne went so far as to say that Tammy's great sincerity kept the team together. That's a big endorsement coming from Roxanne. Trump then focused on Sean and his terrible presentation. He thrashed the Brit's performance, and just as it seemed like he was ready to tear into someone else, Andrea perhaps, Brent committed the most common error of fired candidates: he opened his big, fat mouth.

Brent piped up and said that if he were doing the presentation, he wouldn't have choked. But alas, he couldn't do the presentation because he wasn't allowed to. Well, once Brent began talking, it was all downhill from him. When Trump asked him what he thought of Tammy, he harshly responded, "I thought Tammy stank as a Project Manager, and it smells right over here, Mr. Trump." Unfortunately, Trump didn't think Tammy stunk. He thought she was okay, and now he wanted Brent to back up his claims that she "stunk." Well, sensing that Brent was now in The Donald's cross-hairs, the teammates immediately pounced.

Posted by B-side on March 21, 2006 1:54 PM