Make It Work! - 
by B-side
We've had the song-writing episode. We've had the filmmaking episode. We've even had the real estate makeover episode. But one thing we hadn't had this season on The Apprentice was the always enjoyable fashion episode. Well, fear not. Just when you thought this season might pass without a casual nod to Project Runway, the producers pulled out a sartorial mission that would have had Diana Eng running to the magnet store. Yes, the teams had to design uniforms for the employees of Embassy Suites, and not only that, they had to stage a fashion show too. I could not have been more excited. There's nothing quite as wonderful as watching buttoned-up, corporate types attempting creativity. On the downside, Carolyn and George were replaced once again by Ivanka and Donald Jr. But on the upside, I discovered that suddenly I LOVE IVANKA AND DONALD JR.! Talk about a twist!
This week's episode began in the Boardroom with Roxanne and Allie viciously ganging up on poor Tammy. Hold on -- must pause for a second. There are baby penguins on TV. Must observe and have my heart warmed. Okay, now Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are on -- my heart has now returned to a sub-zero temperature. Anyhoo, while the girls clawed out their eyes downstairs, Sean prepared a lovely salad for them upstairs. I hope it tasted good. Wouldn't want to face a chorus of rolling eyes -- I mean, raised eyebrows.
Sean then told us that he was rooting for Tammy to return (ha, sucker). "If Tammy comes back, I'm gonna be over the moon. I'll probably just want to like grab her, take her into the bedroom, and just give her a big hug," he said. Technically, he didn't have to take Tammy into the bedroom just to give her a hug. He could do it in the foyer. Or the living room. Or anywhere really. Of course, "give her a big hug" could just be British for "bone her." But that wouldn't make much sense, on behalf of Sean being a foppish dandy and whatnot. Tally ho!
Nevertheless, he continued his annoying speech, saying, "My heart is telling me that Tammy will come. My head is telling me that she's gonna be fired." He then added, "And my British Sense tells me that she's a bloody good chum, guv'nah! Top of the mornin' to ya!"
Okay, Sean didn't launch into random British-isms. Instead, we saw Tammy get fired all over again, and then we watched as Allie and Roxanne triumphantly returned to the suite. Sean was understandably upset. His little moppet was off in a cab somewhere, recording her goodbyes to America. Even worse, he now had to deal with the double-headed monster of Roxanne and Allie, or as I now call them, Roxallie. Sean complained that he didn't want to hear their voice for another week, which is kind of the same way we feel about Sean. So you see, we all lose!
Anyway, everyone sat down for dinner, and while Sean sawed away at his slab of beef, Roxanne and Allie talked about the Boardroom. Roxy mentioned how Tammy had ganged up on her for things she could have easily ganged up on Allie for too. Oh, Allie wasn't going to like that. I thought she'd spew fire at her "friend" for suggesting that she was just as culpable in the task's failure, but instead, she just decided to engage in her weekly dose of self-delusional observations. Allie claimed that in the Boardroom, she wasn't trying to gang up on Tammy. She was instead trying to mediate between her and Roxanne. Memo to Allie: rolling your eyes does not count as "mediating."
Ultimately, Allie announced, "There was no ganging up." No. Of course not! And there never has been, despite all those weeks when you, you know, GANGED UP ON TEAMMATES AND RAILROADED THEM OUT OF THE BOARDROOM.
Well, the opening credits rolled, and then suddenly it was morning in Manhattan. And what a beautiful morning it was! The sun rose like a giant orange in the sky, birds tweeted, and somewhere in the city, Melania emerged from her oxygen chamber to commence her day's activities of staring at things. Meanwhile, over in the suite, Rhone-Rhone called up, and who was the lucky person to answer the phone? Why, it was Sean, wearing what looked to be skivvies from 1905. Rhona told him that Trump was meeting with an Esté Lauder executive, which was all well and good, but one question: Rhona, why are you whispering? Is this a secret meeting? You can speak up!
'Allo!
We then cut to the four remaining candidates marching into the Esté Lauder building, and conveniently, the cameras zoomed in all nice and close to everyone's HP Laptop Bags. They were cool, but they had nothing on Tammy Trenta's line:
While the kiddos entered the building, Trump was upstairs babbling to a girl named Robin (no relationship to the receptionist) about Trump Fragrance. I don't know who in their right mind would want to wear Trump Fragrance, but then again, SMELLING LIKE DONALD TRUMP IS A THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY! All of a sudden, a spritely young woman named Jen let the teams in. And hey! Ivanka and Donald Jr. were back with us. How delightful. Can't wait for DJ's monosyllabic observations. I wonder if he and his sister wear Trump Fragrance, or as they call it, Fragrance.
Well, before we dove into this week's task, Trump talked to Allie and Roxanne about their previous Boardroom experience with Tammy. "You two were a tough team. What you did to her was not nice, but it's called business, isn't it?" he said, adding, "CALLING IT BUSINESS IS A THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!!"
Trump then babbled about his fragrance, and then Esté Lauder Robin revealed that the cologne was presented in a bottle the shape of Trump Tower. Interesting. I can't even imagine what Frank Gehry's fragrance bottle looks like.
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