"Good, just get out of here," Trump said, waving him off. Before I could even say it, Donald then added, "Frickin' politician, LEE!" Ha, EXACTLY.

The men then stepped into the elevator, and as the doors closed, we saw Sean do that fist-pumping / air-punching / mini-dance he's prone to doing. I don't know if he's named the move yet, but I personally call it "THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER."

The guys then returned to the suite, and surprise, surprise -- the whole gang was there; every fired candidate smiling and cheering (and secretly driving needles into their imaginary voodoo dolls). Lee and Sean were surprised to say the least, and as they hugged all their fallen comrades, Lee asked, "How did everyone get so good looking all of a sudden?" Well, not you Brent. Although, that four bagel diet has been working wonders... for the sales at the local bagel shop.

"Someone please save me from Brent. Please..."

Well, no reunion would be complete without Sean waxing romantically about all the great virtues of laptop bag impresario Tammy. It was all gushing, all the time from Sean, and I don't think I was the only one in America who yelled "SHUT UP" at the TV. Actually, I didn't yell that, but I thought it really hard. For me, the only love story I cared to watch was between Lee and Lenny. "I love you so much," The Russian told Lee at one point, adding, "I ride in blimp for you." Okay, he didn't say that last part (although, I totally believe he would).

The camera then panned over to Allie and Roxanne, who were still obviously bitter about their firing -- oh, about twenty minutes ago. Hey, weren't they supposed to be in a cab? Did they just take it for a ride around the block before coming back? Don't tell me this scene was filmed at a later date and time!

Anyway, after the commercial break, the two finalists began the dirty business of assembling their teams. Of course, Sean wanted Tammy (probably so he could address her as "Love" as many times as possible), but here's a little surprise: he also wanted Andrea too. Yes, the oft-maligned control-freak who's never afraid to boast about her sticker empire. I didn't think she would make Sean's team, but then again, it wasn't the worst choice out there either. But what of that last spot? Brent surely campaigned for it in his awkward, annoying way. Tarek did too, and remember Dan? He made quite the impassioned plea. "I want to be a king maker at this point," he said. Apparently he had given up on his previous dream of being The Freshmaker.

Oh, and no scene of ass-kissing could ever be complete without some grade-A bullshit courtesy of Allie. "Not that it matters," she said, "but I do want to be your lifelong friend. I do mean that." Yes, I'm sure she means that with all her heart. In other news, Allie has NO HEART.

Tarek then campaigned for himself some more, saying, "I think the best example of my work ethic is that I worked at McDonalds for two years starting out, and then I worked at a sewage treatment plant for three summers." Great. So if this final challenge has to do with McDonalds and a sewage treatment plant, you'll be perfect!

Believe it or not, it looked like this little speech may have won over Sean. It certainly worked wonders on Andrea, who believed she and Tarek were the smartest people there anyway. I'm not sure if that's saying much about this pool of candidates. Anyway, Sean redirected some gushiness away from Tammy for half a second to praise Orlando Bloom, er, Tarek. "I even admire the swagger that you have. That very cheeky charm," Sean said. Uh, was he hitting on him? Tammy might want to up her game a bit.

Meanwhile, when it came to Lee's team, I had a sense that no one really wanted to work for him. After all, who wants to slave away for a young kid who kisses ass at every corner? Of course, this didn't stop Allie from cooing about Lee's wonderful tie selection. Beware the living Cabbage Patch Doll! Anyway, Lee took Lenny aside first, which we knew could only lead to disaster. As the two settled down on a couch, Lenny said, "You know what? Nobody better than me. You know that." Oh Lenny. How we've missed you so. Lee then bounced some team member ideas off of Lenny, and in the end, who did The Russian officially endorse? Pepi. Wait, what? Pepi? You've got to be kidding me. For those of you who don't even remember who Pepi is, he was the guy who was fired after he was unable to contain the ever so scary Stacy/Brent flare up. I don't know why Lenny wanted the guy -- maybe he liked his high voice and funny accent -- but Lee didn't question it. He took on Pepi with the hopes that he'd be an intensely loyal and hard worker. And if Pepi tried to screw him over, don't worry. Lenny had Lee's back. "I wasn't born yesterday," Lenny warned Pepi. Great. Way to instill fear into the team. They'll love that.

Posted by B-side on May 31, 2006 12:36 AM