Actually, Martha even asked him what he was smiling about (I think she was scared) but he simply shrugged it off and attributed it to the "fun challenge." This was this week's one MarthEnunciation moment I've come to expect and enjoy, as she compared David to the "Shehshure" (as in Cheshire) Cat - oh Martha, how you confound and fascinate me. She then tasted each dressing and gave them both her stamp of approval - the raised MarthaBrow. The sales results? The new Primaretardos sold $1560.09 worth of dressing at $3.99 a pop whereas the new Matchstickers came correct with $1580.97 after selling more bottles at $3.49. A $20 victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Time for a commercial break - a truly horrible commercial break. We've come to learn that poor Alexis Stewart apparently hates being on camera, and has absolutely no stage presence. Unfortunately, the Wishbone Company missed that memo and thought it would be fun to feature her and Charles in a show tie-in spot for their limited edition salad dressings. I wouldn't call Alexis ugly, but for some reason, make-up and hair simply does not work for her. Now I know why she appears so plain and dour on the show. Anyway, here's the commercial - for those of you who don't watch the show, Alexis is the one with the darker hair.

At least the winners got sort of a reward this week. I'm sure the bitter taste of victory was still in the old Primarimariquitecontraryius's minds after last week's "sit around and stare at the walls" non-reward reward. This week, the winners got to sail around Ellis Island on an old 1893 schooner. Martha saw them off on their journey saying, "I just wanted to make sure the boat was in order and it is." Sure. The funny part was when one of the nondescript women yelped, "Thank you so much," as if Martha performed a rigorous inspection on the ship. She bid them farewell with a mournful look which said, "I'd love to join you but a) it's actually quite cold and miserable, b) you actually have to work to sail that damn thing, and c) my parole officer is calling." The winners sailed around and spouted a bunch of clichés about teamwork and getting wind in their sails. Ho-hum.

The real action was up in the loft where Jim was once again aggressively fighting for his MarthApprentice life. He saw the writing on the wall that his new teammates were in agreement about getting rid of him. His strategy was to go after Jennifer, the Project Manager, pointing out that she "did nothing." It would be a tough sell, as one of his female teammates said, "At least I know Jen isn't going to kill me in my sleep." That's a pretty reasonable argument, but I feared it may not work on Martha. After all, she lived several months in jail where getting killed in her sleep was a nightly expectation.

Jim moved on to a strategy discussion with Howie and Carrie. It was going well until Jim made the mistake of mentioning that the dreading "F word" gaffe was also equally the fault of Howie. Whoa! While not quite Hurricane Howie, this Howie certainly did become Tropical Depression Howie and started screaming at weasely Jim. Out of nowhere he yelled, "I'm the dragonslayer, bro, bring it on motherf*cker! Don't even try to slay this dragon motherf*cker because you will go down!" Wow, can't wait til Martha sends him packing. Jim backed down a bit and said he was simply "warning" Howie to watch out. This, of course, caused Howe’s neck veins to pop out even further and warn Jim not to warn him. Because that makes sense in meathead world - a world I avoid at all costs.

Finally, it was time for the conference room and of course it was finally time for that jackass Jim to go. He was completely unprofessional and inappropriate during the challenge, he's insane, and everyone hates him. Bethenny showed up in what appeared to be a negligee top and Martha told a little story about shopping at Stew Leonard's herself back when she lived in my fair state of Connecticut. Like Trump, the whole conference room discussion seemed like the New Primarats got crushed in the competition. I hate that - they lost by a measly twenty bucks, and really, maybe the foot traffic at the Yonkers store was substantially greater than in Connecticut? These things bother the shit out of me.

Then the most annoying conference room session thus far got going with Charles calling out Jim for his annoying snake oil salesman tactics. They discussed the "good for your bunions" lines and then Charles made another funny. The problem was, it was too cryptic for most viewers - Jim said he thought he was being "witty" and Charles said, sarcastically, "Well, you were half right." In other words, he was calling Jim, "Shitty." At least I think that's what he meant. Then, for some reason, Charles turned his wrath toward Jennifer, blasting her for not controlling Jim more. Jim, currently the most annoying person on reality TV, then agreed with Charles. So yeah, Jim was agreeing that Jen did a poor job of stopping Jim from being a total jackoff.

Posted by on October 22, 2005 5:24 PM