Such a dork.

The night is finally here! The Bachelor - all the way from London, England - is finally going to make up his mind and propose to his one and only true love. Who will it be? Well, first the two lucky finalists have to try and prove themselves to Matt's British family and then take one last nose dive away from dignity in a final lunge for a rose/ring back in Barbados. Let's get to it!

Continue reading "The Bachelor: The Bachelor: Absurdity Calling" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 12:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Quick! The women are telling all!

So I tried, I really tried to come up with anything to say about The Bachelor: The Women Tell All, but seriously, there was nothing new. Stacey was back to explain how embarrassed she was about being such a drunken freak show on the first episode and then as an apology gift she gave Matt a pair of granny panties. Marshana showed up in something other than a sari and claimed to be misunderstood, and Robin showed up in a top pretending it was a dress and said it's been fun to watch Matt in the last couple of episodes and see him look so happy. Nice try, Robin.

Continue reading "The Bachelor: The Bachelor: Honey Gangsta Takes a Nap" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

"Look at all these pine trees!"

Tonight on The Bachelor we head for Barbados to watch three lucky girls give it up in the hopes of being The Chosen One. Poor Matt. He is just so confused because he has such a brilliant connection with three different women and he has no idea how he's going to be able to send one of them away brokenhearted. But you'd better believe he's going to do it! Here we go!

Continue reading "The Bachelor: The Bachelor: The Island of Lost Dignity" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

"I'm so near to fame I can smell it!"

Tonight on The Bachelor Matt goes on his hometown dates! For the first time in Bachelor history, we meet a celebrity father. Okay, maybe not really a celebrity, but at least someone who was on the show "Are You Hot?" No, come to think of it, I've heard the name Lorenzo Lamas many times, but I have to admit, I wouldn't know him even if I ran over him with my car. But I digress. Let's do this!

Continue reading "The Bachelor: The Bachelor: Matt's Greatest Day EVER" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

"Lovely weather we're having!"

This week is a big one on The Bachelor. Matt has to decide which girls he will be joining in their own hometowns to meet their families! There's really no way of knowing who his favorites are because he's played tonsil hockey with everyone and thinks they're all "brilliant." Maybe a rousing trip down the ski slopes will provide us with the answers we're looking for. Let's see, shall we?

Continue reading "The Bachelor: The Bachelor: All Downhill From Here" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Big news. Jerry from The Bachelorette 3 has been spotted... again. This time his smoldering visage graces a banner advertising the opening of Lily's Hair Studio, an establishment that promises a Supercuts-worthy variety of 'dos for kids AND guys! Surely this plum spokesmodel position might be considered "lame" or "laughable", but it's pretty obvious from the pic that Lily most likely poached a headshot from the mid 90s. Still, after a post-Bachelorette career that's had him chilling out with Danny Bonaduce, it might be safe to say that Lily's could very well be a high point on Jerry's resume. Hey, and work is work. Rumor has it he'll be lending his image to Madeleine Ippolito's Garage Sale in South Salem, NY. Come for Jerry, stay for the Fiestaware!

Thanks to TVgasm reader Cara for not only having eagle eyes but snapping a photo too. And big ups to her for interrupting her St. Patrick's Day celebration to get the shot. For all those wishing to see the banner in person, check out Lily's Hair Studio, located at 300 E. 88th Street, NYC. TVgasm also welcomes any photos readers wish to take of themselves with the Bachelor banner. Perhaps a photo contest? Email all entries to bside@tvgasm.com...

Posted by B-Side at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I used to be a big Scrubs fan. In fact, I still am. The thing is, it's always been on against other shows I like more: 24, Survivor, Amazing Race, etc. For three years, I was kept away from my beloved Scrubs (okay, I don't like it that much. I'm trying to be dramatic here though). Luckily, with TVgasm's lovely dual-tuner Tivo, conflicts are for the most part a thing of the past. So it was with great joy that I sat down to take in my first episode of Scrubs since mid 2002. Yes, finally I could sink my teeth into a funny, scripted show and not think of all that other trash I watch or observe.

So what should happen on the one time I tune in? My favorite of occurrences: a reality star extra. Yes, in last night's repeat episode of Scrubs, none other than Bachelorette contestant Ryan Sheaffer popped up as one of Turk's buddies.

"But wait!" you may say (if you are so inclined to be drawn into such stupid scandals). "Isn't Ryan a teacher?"

According to his ABC Bio, yes. But seeing him on screen once again proves that these dating shows are nothing but staged circuses filled with aspiring actors, recycled reality stars, and the occasional gay man. Hmmm... I guess that's really not that earth-shattering. Even so, can ABC even TRY to screen their bachelors? This is getting ridiculous.

Continue reading "The Bachelorette: A Bachelorette Contestant Who's Really An Actor? Why I NEVER!" »

Posted by B-Side at 2:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Looks like our old friend Jerry from The Bachelorette (and Real World: Back to NY) is back again. After receiving the royal snub from fellow reality whore Jen Schefft last week on live TV, Jerry has peddled his sob story into a meet-and-greet with local Los Angeles radio station Star 98.7. The jilted lover will appear at the House of Blues with morning squawkers Jamie & Danny who undoubtedly will bring their unique brand of yelling cacophonous, idiotic statements to the Sunset Strip.

I feel kind of badly for Jerry, and no, not because he's resorted to hanging out with Celebrity Boxing vet Danny Bonaduce. I feel badly because he's clearly trying so hard to elicit the Bachelor Bob like sympathy of women nationwide (as evidenced by the moniker "The Wounded Bachelor"). I'm sorry Jerry. You may be a standup guy, but The Bachelor franchise is over —  especially now that greasy Charlie O'Connell seems poised hammer the final nail into its coffin.

For more information on Jerry's 16th minute of fame, visit the Wounded Bachelor page on Star 98.7's website. Don't click around too much. You might find a rather disturbing photo:

Continue reading "The Bachelorette: From The "Please Extend My Fame" Department:" »

Posted by B-Side at 7:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

[by Jaded Bitch]

Sorry for the late recap, but the show was friggin' three hours long!! OY VA VOY!! Enough foreplay, let's get to the action! (Or, lack thereof...)

Our final episode starts off in Jen's hometown of Cleveland, where she first meets up with John Paul, aka Dirty Sanchez. (If that ain't JP laying on that couch, then tie me up and call me Susie!) Anyhow, Dirty Sanchez bribes Jen with a pair of earrings at the get-go. Okay, so you've got money. We Get It. Meanwhile, Jen bathed in the thought of "being treated like a princess" for the rest of her life. John Paul looked sleepy and horny as they talked about what their lives would be like together if she were to pick him. Hmm, my guess is it would entail bad wardrobe, multiple named children, and lots o' hairy lip action!

Continue reading "The Bachelorette: The Bachelorette: A Not So Lucky Boy and a Drama Queen" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 6:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

[by Jaded Bitch]
Well I for one was all set for a night of good television as I snuggled in on my couch, bundled up in blankets, comfort food laid out in front. I should've known better.

Oh well, at least host Chris Harrison finally got some airtime after a season of popping in and out of rose ceremonies and mindless dates. It was his turn to actually act as, The Host! He went on to introduce all the ejected bachelors, who all looked like they were on a rerun of the game show Studs.

ABC managed to stretch this supposed "tell-all" into a full hour by using numerous clips from the show, a million commercials, and audience questions.

Continue reading "The Bachelorette: The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All...Except for Fabrice" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 11:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)