Dr. McRottenEggs, I Presume? - 
by copygodd
Travis is really gunning to get in to the ongoing party, but before he goes in Host/Wingman Chris Harrison tells him he can hand out one Immunity Rose during the party to the woman he wants to stay. He also calls dibs on Travis' sloppies.
Once Travis finally enters the room, the girls go silent. (I know, I couldn't believe it either!) Jennifer tells us she thinks he's ridiculously gorgeous, and that they'd make "hot little babies". (Maybe EdHill should call Children's Services on her.) Travis starts making his rounds (ah, doctor humor), telling one group of women it must get boring talking about at him at some point. For me, that point is long past.
After he reveals he's a doctor, however, things start to get a bit more interesting. And by interesting, I mean we see the first crack in Allie's thin veneer of sanity. See, she thinks she's a shoo-in because she's also a doctor. (I believe she practices at Arkham Asylum.) Unfortunately, she fails to see the one fatal flaw in her plan: she's certifiably insane. "I'm here to meet a husband," she tells us. "And hopefully, the bachelor will be that guy. Because quite frankly, my eggs are rotting." Great. Now every time I visit Yellowstone Park I'm going to think of Allie's rotten cooter.
One of the harpies says Travis has doctor's hands. Which as we all know means he also has a really big scalpel. Outside, some of the women visit with Travis on the balcony. SaraH asks why he's still single. "The easy answer," he tells her, "is that I just haven't met the one." The hard answer, of course, is "E=MC2."
Not-crazy-Ali tells Travis she's looking for a manly man who can chop wood. Coincidentally, Travis tells her he has some wood that's in need of chopping. In his pants!
Kristin spends her alone time with Travis giving him a shot glass from her hometown. She's also written a bit of verse: "Dear Travis, I hope you and I get a 'shot' at getting to know each other." You know, cuz it's a shot glass? Too bad she didn't give him a Bible, cuz then she could've said she hopes to get to know him in the Biblical sense.
Moana and Travis are seen talking outside. Later, Moana tells us "he asked me a question, and he seemed actually interested in the answer. That's kind of a first for a man." Evidently Moana's never been propositioned at last call before.
Meanwhile, some random man brings the Immunity Rose into the room. And just like that, the competition is on. When Travis comes back in, he tells the women the secret of the Immunity Rose, which gets Yvonne all fired up. When Allie tries to talk to Travis about their medical backgrounds, Yvonne interrupts and then just sits there. From the strained look on Allie's face, I think she was trying to give Yvonne head cancer. Allie then tells Travis she's ready to move on to the "reproductive stage" of her life. "So, if that seems to match your goals, then I'm here," she finishes, delivering what has to be the "Most Romantic Bachelor Pickup Line Ever!"
Back outside, SaraH-eh? tells Travis she loves camping. This is good, because Travis loves women who love camping, which SaraH-eh? thinks is "wicked". Other things SaraH-eh? thinks are wicked: witches.
Finally, Travis spends a few moments with Susan, who was the first to arrive. She instantly hits it off with the good doc, which of course makes the other women start sharpening their claws. I hope the producers didn't spend a lot of money on drapery for this show.
Afterward, Travis picks up the Immunity Rose. Instead of handing it to Susan, however, he goes outside and gives it to SaraH-eh? SolidGold-Ali spies on them through the window and tells the other women he's giving the rose to SaraH-eh?. Judging by the looks on the other bachelorettes' faces, I don't think SaraH-eh? will live to see the morning.
Oh look, it's Host Chris Harrison, who comes in glass a'tinklin' and nose a'twichin'. Must be time for the real Rose Ceremony. But wait, there's a twist! For the first time in the show's history, more than half of the bachelorettes will be eliminated tonight. Snap!
Travis gives a nice speech to cheer up the potential losers. "Tonight has been beyond my wildest imagination," he says. "But at the same time, it's been very difficult, because 13 of you aren't going to get roses." Or the chance to play doctor with Stork, Travis Stork.
The Rose Ceremony is next, where Travis asks the women he'd like to stay if they'll accept his rose. Personally, I liked the Pearl Necklace Ceremony on Joe Schmoe better, but that's just because I'm an incurable romantic at heart.
In addition to SaraH-eh?, who got the first Immunity Rose, Travis also gives roses to Cole, Moana, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Shiloh, Yvonne, Jihad, Susan, Tara, Sara and Kristin.
"I wore a girdle for this?"
But what about Allie, she of the decomposing ovaries and stanky hooha? She's as shocked as I am that she didn't get picked. Although not for the same reasons. She thought Travis would keep her for her breeding stock; I thought the producers would make Travis keep her for the ratings. Fortunately, we still have Crazy-Eyes Killah Tara.
While the rest of the women start hugging goodbye, LunaticFringe-Allie puts on the type of display that TVgasm was made for. "I cannot believe he chose some of those women over me," she tells the camera. So I guess she can believe he picked some of the others. "I dedicated my life toward my career, and he doesn't choose that. Just like every other man I know. It's a double-edged sword." In her case, I think it's more of a rusty spoon, but whatever.
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