Before the show ended, I was thinking -- maybe the producers will take pity on Dr. Allie and let her have her own show where the players would all have to want (or convicingly act like they want) babies ASAP. But then I guess the good Doc blew it by being so freaky at the end (never mind being TOO heavy on the eye make-up). Too bad ...and by the way, I thought women could have babies well past 33! But what do I know, I'm not a doctor. - c rock P.S. (One of Allie's comments sounded like she only goes after professionals. HINT to Allie: look for someone blue collar, or maybe an artist or something. You can pop out the kids and go to work, since we know how long and hard you studied yada, and yer guy will be a house hubby. Lower those standards, Doc!)

THEY HAVE GOT TO HAVE ALLIE AS THE NEXT BACHELORETTE!!!!!!

Sorry for the shouting but could you imagine a season of her and she's in the power seat? The possibilities are endless.

copygodd-this is the first recap of yours I have read, and it was very good. I loved the if Travis were an ob/gyn...I think Tara is more than capable of providing the psycho we need every season.
How would you like to have Allie as an oncologist and then be watching this? Now that is truly scary. Would you let this woman treat your cancer? No thank you.

I swore this show off after the Jesse Palmer fiasco of a season and now I'm sad I missed this one. Does this mean I have to start watching again?

Of the 13 women left, how many would you classify as "psycho?"

Copygodd, you are funny.

that first picture looks that chick has a friggin beard....LOL!

I don't watch the show and doubt if I ever will but the recap was great Copygodd, I'll just read those......

I gave this one 5 minutes and I had to bail. All those harpies screeching made my head hurt. I’ll have to wait until they thin them out some more. But now that I’ve read the recap I have to say I’m pissed I erased it off my TiVo and missed Allie’s frantic putrefying ovaries diatribe. What can be more charming than a woman demanding that she wants you to reproduce for her. If I was the bachelor and she started doing the whole “are my boobs too small?� rant, I would’ve just went for it and said “yes, you’re racks too small, you’re ugly and quite frankly I’m detecting what could only be described as runaway case of vaginosis.� I would be the best bachelor EVER.

I actually dated a social worker once. Big mistake. Their jobs make them trained in the art of manipulation. She could talk her way out of anything. She was nuts too, which to this day I find comically ironic.

Only chicks would gauge their perfect man by comparing them to celebrities. That’s so stupid. I bet that girl does nothing but read US and People all day. Do you ever see a guy say “I want a girl with the independence of Julia Roberts and the intelligence of Hillary Clinton!�. The closest I’ll get to that is by saying something like “She needs to crave kinky sex as much as porn star Britney Rears.� At least that’s what it says on my match.com profile. I don’t seem to get a lot of hits….

Dr. Stork looks a little like the legendary Stork from Animal House -- that alone may be enough reason to watch the show...

By the way, shouldn't Dr. Stork actually be an OB/GYN? That name is perfect for promotion (have your baby delivered by the Stork)...What a missed opportunity!

I only watched season 1 of the Bachelor + 2 or 3 episodes of the 2nd & 3rd season and I let myself get into the hype of this season in PARIS! THE MOST ROMANTIC 'BACHELOR' EVER! WATCH OR DIE!! and I am glad to have recorded it because then I would have missed Crazy Allie and her reproductive urges. Great recap copygodd... I snorted at the 'not an OB/GYN; can he handle 25 vaginas at once????'. Classic.

Go Canada! Hey, knock the Canuckian all you want, but she was by far my favourite coming out of the limo. Very laid back, charming and sexy (none of this "thank you, nice to meet you, thank you, thank you, ok, nice to meet you.") Plus, she actually looked like she might dress half-decently. She was dressed in formal attire, but managed to look low maintenance at the same time - huge plus! Simple but elegant dress, subtle makeup, flattering and not overly done hair. Was enough to make her really stand out from the rest (er, in a good way, not the psycho way).

Why the eff, do most of the women opt for overdressing like they think it's Oscar night, in some trashy sparkling full-length naval-plunging monstrosity. And women, please, lose the freakin TENDRILS. They look like poo. On everyone. Though Miss Virginia's c. 1984 junior-high hairdo, complete with shellac wall 'o' bangs clearly takes the cake.

OMG That was hilarious. You just can't stop watching this show. Ali was on the radio the next day complaining about being drunk and underfed. She held her own under tough questioning, but still came off as a whack job. Great recap.

All I could think of when seeing that snarl on Allie's face as the Bachelor was handing out roses - and she realized she wasn't going to get one - was Sam, the recently deceased "world's ugliest dog." Could we get a side by side comparison of that please?

Oh, and chronic pointed out something I forgot to comment about. I had no idea that they let Canadians on this show! Why can't CBS follow the lead for the Amazing Race? It probably has to do with taxes and prizes or something along those lines... no fair. But yeah, chronic, you are always on point :) funny funny.

I watch several reality shows - TAR, Apprentice, Project Runway - but I've never been into The Bachelor. (It's no Temptation Island, or even Bachelorettes in Alaska; now there's good "reality" dating).

However, I heard about the "rotting eggs" comment through several media outlets, and I knew I could count on TVGasm to deliver an informative and hilarious recap. Thanks!

Excellent work, copygodd. For a first-time recapper for this show, you have the perfect amount of attitude for the occasion. I'm with chronic...I wouldn't mind seeing a nice-looking girl step out of the limo in jeans and t-shirt and say that her interests were watching football and basketball on TV and drinking her birth weight in Miller Lite.

One more thing... (I'm sorry about all the posts, I keep getting interrupted by a bitch called work!), I thought Susan, the first girl from the limos, looked like America's Next Top Model cycle 5 Cassandra's twin, but with a cheekier face. Total Ashley/Mary-Kate Olsen effect.

I hated all of the "I love YOUR house", "Wow! YOU have a great house!" comments.

fabulous recap copygodd! laugh out loud material... will definitely be checking in every week... thanks!

(I believe she practices at Arkham Asylum.)

Stacyrocks - I thought the same exact thing about Susan resembling Cassandra. Susan was very pretty and my pick for the "win" if you call being chosen to be dumped three months later a "win".

Oops it cut of my comment - I guess I shouldn't use brackets

(I believe she practices at Arkham Asylum.) I found that to be the funniest comment of a VERY funny recap. Well done Copygodd - such an excellent start - gonna love reading your recaps of this season.

Come on, of course Tara is going to be a psycho..she is a ginger kid...she may look like a daywalker, but I bet there are freckles underneath all that make-up...

Susan looks like Cassandra's older (and less whiney) sister.

Those were the lamest first impressions ever! Chronic, I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice the "thank you thank you nice to meet you nice to meet you" model chick. The ladies were trying way too hard and Travis was very awkward. I hope that means he's more of a "real" person than the players and actors of earlier Bachelor seasons.

And holy god, I could not believe the stylists allowed those girls to get in front of the camera with those hideous dresses (Jaime) and hairdos (blue dress girl and Jaime).

EROSion, didn't you hear, he is the BEST BACHELOR YET!! and on the best "The Bachelor" ever no less. Don't doubt his realness.

Awesome recap, the show was so boring until the psycho doc! Will someone please tell me where jennifer the model was before? I have seen her somewhere, on another reality show somewhere, I know I have seen her...

Copygodd your are a god, fist recap I LOL LOL LOL If only Dr. Stork was an ob/gyn, he could check out my shenaynay any time.
To bad physco rotten eggs is gone that was some good t.v.
I was ready to give up on The Bachelor but this one sucked me back in. But enough with the Thank you's from these prom queens, thank you for what, making me compete with 24 other desperate physco's in a country where they hate American's.
Did anyone else think stork, travis stork was wasted during the speed dating!!!

I was wondering what the evening gowns said about each girl. Some were classy and tasteful, some were prommy, the NBA Dancer's was a bit racy, the heavy blonde's had no built in breast support (sorely needed), the red head's showed she was uncomfortable with strapless. The binding in a strapless gown is powerful, either let it do it's job or wear straps. Don't pull pull your dress up and slouch.

Dr. Allie had a point. She was just misdirecting her rage. A man in his 30s need not be ready to start a family. I'm 32 and not too interested in breeding. You can freeze eggs nowadays, if it's a real worry.

Allie did have a point about the clock ticking though. Women can have kids well past 33 but in the mid-30s birth defect risks make it generally high-risk. I know a woman in her late 30s who just had a baby with Down Syndrome and other serious problems. There was a recent report on how the frequency of this is on the rise.

I have never watched an episode of "The Bachelor" until now. If they're all like this one, I'm sorry I missed 'em. I'm guessing if she really is a doctor, Allie G. has to be pretty smart or at least reasonable. How could she flip out like that? She makes the outbursts on "The Gauntlet" seem relatively reasonable. I'm pretty sure men don't want to think of any part of a woman as "rotting."

Also, I'm really enjoying everyone's vagina euphemisms. Ah, they take me back... My fave will always be hooha diddy.

copygodd--fabulous call out to, "The Merchant of Venice."
(If you prick me, do I not breed?)
If you snark me, do I not laugh?
Excellent job!

I like how ABC finally got the hint when they always used to be like "coming up..." when they cut to commerical break! YAY! Also, wasn't it werid how the rejected girls were banished outside in the cold and given blanets while they waited for their transportation, you would think the limos would be on time!

PS, why is he picking all these young girls, lets be honest is a student whos 23 going to have enough in common with a doctor who is 33??? SaraH doesn't seem overly mature anyways...

He's picking those young girls because he CAN! His comment to the camera was "she just so cute". It just goes to show what's really important in making a first impression. Looks do matter.

Here's an article with our favorite psycho doc:

http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/eliminated-the-bachelor-paris-bachelorette-allie-garcia-serra-%22that-so-not-me%22-3903.php

So she's saying all the bachelorettes were basically drunk? It does seem plausible in hindsight.

Thanks for the great recap! That Allie did crack me up, though. I mean, I'm older than her, single, and no children. I would love to have children and I believe in complete honesty when looking to date someone; however, I have never and would never say: "I'm ready for the reproductive stage." WTF???

Also, did anyone catch the very begining of the episode where they were showing glimpses of previous shows - they showed Trista and Ryan married and the Bachelor who chose Mary (can't remember his name) and they said they're getting married in November. Has anyone heard what happend to Meredith and her guy (because last I knew, they were engaged)???

okay - sorry guys - nevermind...I answered my own question about Meredith.

they load that house up with liquor every season so the girls will get "loose", and bitchty/weepy and forget about the cameras on them.

Even better!

http://www.drallieg.com/

that was funny ruplub! I wonder what the T-shirt says. Do you think that she realizes (as a doctor) that she doesn't need a man to get pregnant? She could certainly afford artificial insemination.

Cool link. I actually tend to think crazyAllie might not be too bad in the context of an actual relationship, if she could ever get one. Obviously some people are better at this than others.

I often make a crap first impression, er, not that crap, and I could see how it might kinda drive you nuts in the end, especially with the clock thing (don't have one myself though), it really is a biological raw deal for women. We all know first impressions can often be misleading, but we still chuck people in a heartbeat if they fumble a bit at first. Or are not quite dreamy enough. It can be frustrating, because men I know through non-dating situations usually dig me, and yet I'm guilty of it myself.

Conversely, I have a sorta-friend who makes the most amazing first impression. Pretty much any man is ready to seriously commit to her after one or two dates, but she is positively bonkers in the end - miserable, passive/aggressive, manipulative, clingy, you name it, but it usually takes them a good couple of months to realize it. And then the poor bastards are in so deep, it's a freakin train wreck every time!

According to realityblurred.com, these will be the slogans:

"Still, she’s turning her new catchphrase into t-shirts that she plans to sell; they’ll say things such as “Let’s Reproduce� and “My Eggs are Rotting.�

She probably feels like a total ass and now is trying to save face. What a loser.

Okay, it's bad enough to talk about marriage and kids on the first date, but the fact that she kept referring to it as "reproducing"... First it reminded me of a science experiment; then, the catchy song from Grease 2 - "Reproduction (reproduction)",

Also, does anyone else think the show's hairdresser should be fired? What was with the awful pageant do's?

Thank you Lori for the first LOL of the day!
"Re-pro-duc-tion (reproduction) Baby, give it to me now..."

Copygod, superlative recap. You are clearly top notch at this and I will watch this show faithfully simply so I can enjoy the recaps more. I really laughed and Dear Lord, did I need that this morning! Drop your dignity at the door ladies, and entertain us this season, we can't wait!
Dizzy

"Re-pro-duc-tion, is that all you think about!?"

I prefer- "Rock-a-hula-rock-a-hula luau, luau, luau, luau A-wham-bamma-lamma
Shanga langa langa langa luau, luau, luau, luau"

how 'bout the:
"We're gonna sco-ooooo-re tonight..."
or the, "I'll be yours in winter, when the snow is on the grou-ound..."
or, Michelle Pheiffer at her finest, "Whooo, whooo, who's that guy..."
I heart Lizardqueen, Lori and Lady J!
("oh, someone tell me where the piston goes?")

Great post! Funnier than watching the actual episode which was quite boring until Dr. Allie's crazy rant. The rest of the season's episodes will not compare.

Moana is the smartest one there, in my humble opinion. First of all, she's taking her own sweet time to get acquainted with Travis, instead of gaping at him with starstruck, dollar(correction: BIG DOLLAR)-signed bug-eyes. Furthermore, Mo knows when a guy is interested and can afford to make a move when she feels like it. I'm learning some valuable insights from her as well... having experienced my own Kristen moments! I can't help getting a perverse kick out of the way a few of the other girls seethe at Mo's lack of desperation. They're threatened because there's no LESS THEY can do to impress Travis, who seems to like Mo's casual attitude about him. When I see Shiloh, Sarah Tennessee and Tara get so incensed about Mo's 'whatever' response to their needling (as if Moana is not entitled to participate unless she's drooling like they are), I am reminded to take better care of myself around men. Thanks Mo!