PlainSaraH goes outside to pick up the first Date Basket. It's for Jihad, who gets the first one-on-one date with Travis. The card invites her to experience Paris from the bottom to the top. Great. Another visit to the Eiffel Tower. Can't they go to the World's Biggest Piece of Stanky Cheese or something? In Paris, Travis and Jihad go food shopping, loading up on cheese, fruit and bread for their picnic. At the bakery, Travis tells her not to be shy. "Go ahead, get two different kinds of bread," he says. Two kinds of bread?! Be still my beating heart! This man is an amazing catch indeed. While Jihad is busy trying to decide on a second type of bread, Travis sneaks off to a nearby "Things Remembered" kiosk and asks if they have any Eiffel Tower jewelry. The French shop-girl, who you know stinks of Santino and onions, says something in French to Travis, who blankly agrees. My French is a little rusty, but I think he just agreed to get Jihad an Eiffel Tower gold tooth. Nope, it's just a necklace.

During their candlelit dinner by the Tower, Travis surprises Jihad with his little bauble. Then he gives her the necklace. He tells her he bought it because he wants to give her something to remember their time in Paris. And since she already has genital herpes, he decided on jewelry. Wanting to get to know her better, Travis asks about her past relationships. Time for the big secret the producers have been teasing us with all week: Jihad used to be a man! Well, I must say I didn't see that one coming. Actually, she just used to be married. Big deal. It's not she like used to date Fabio or anything. Despite the unsurprising nature of her surprise, Travis is still pretty taken aback, and Jihad is worried her revelation will hurt her chances in the game. Looks like she may have to go bareback tonight after all.

Back at the house, the next Date Box arrives. This one contains bike horns, water bottles and a note from Travis inviting SaraH-eh?, DrunkTara, Susan and Moanica on a bike ride. Too bad he didn't send a singing telegram with this basket: When you take a bike ride through the French countryside, that's amore…" This also means PlainSaraH will be getting the last one-on-one date of this round.

Meanwhile, back at the Tower, Travis and Jihad are up top enjoying the view. Travis says it's "definitely a five-deep-breath moment." I have no idea what the hell he's talking about. Maybe the altitude is getting to him. He admits he'd always thought he'd marry a girl who hadn't been married before. And, at the very least, was a solid second virgin. He says it doesn't change how amazing (drink!) he thinks she is, however, or how beautiful. Unfortunately, he can't give her a rose tonight. But that doesn't mean he wants her to go home. Instead, he asks if she'll stick around until the Rose Ceremony, when he's had a chance to spend some time with the other ho-pefuls. For some strange reason, Jihad agrees. Later, she tells us that "Travis was amazing (drink!), but the evening was bittersweet, because I got to spend time with this amazing (drink!) man and blahblahblah rose."

Time for the group date, which Travis describes as a "sort of 'Tour de France' type date." But he pronounces France as it should be, and not like it's pronounced in 'Tour de France'. Eh, I guess you had to hear it. From now on, he tells us he's going to base his decisions in the Rose Ceremony on what he's feeling, because at this point, feelings are the most important thing. Which begs the question, what has he been basing his decisions on up to this point? Relative humidity?

Travis arrives at the house to pick up the girls, who are dressed in head-to-toe spandex. "They looked fantastic," he says, "and ready to get on their bikes." Barring that, at least ready to get it on. Susan and DrunkTara are both concerned about being on a group date with Moanica, as she's "a very intense girl, and when she goes after something, it kind of overwhelms everything else." What I wouldn't give to see Moanica try to get the last beer from DrunkTara.

Posted by copygodd on February 2, 2006 8:45 AM