Ghetto Fabulous
Hooray for us! We made it... To the finale of The Cut. I'd like to thank both of you for completing this journey with me. Honestly, how many of you can say that you saw every minute of this show - through the five timeslot changes, through the month of NFL pre-emptions, through all the clichés and the silliness? We should definitely give out prizes to those of you who did. In lieu of that, I guess we'll just have to re-live the finale and discuss who and how the show's big prize was doled out. The show included another daunting task, two new hats on the head of finalist Chris, and a return of Crazy Jeff - quite possibly the most fascinating reality contestant of the summer. And that's not necessarily a good thing.
The finale began, as all derivative reality finales do, with a quick review of episodes gone by. I call this, "six minutes I don't have to recap." One thing they did do, which I appreciated, was to point out the times in the past when finalist Princess wasn't exactly at the top of her game. In fact, the review only solidified my "why is Princess still here?" sentiment. One other thing stood out - and it was pretty cool. In the premiere, HALfiger noted, "First impressions are very important." Back then he explained how people initially judge on how you look, first and foremost. In other words, ugly people need not apply with his company. The point here was, that way back when CBS thought this show would be good Thursday night primetime fare, the first three contestants who were selected for teams (on looks/clothes alone) were none other than Chris, Princess, and Liz. Hmmmm, I thought for a split second that HALfiger just cut people based on the premise that he'd want these three in the finals so he could be shown to be a genius prognosticator. I'd believe it, especially after some of the arbitrary and seemingly unfair cuts he's made throughout the season. (James? Wes? Deanna?)
Have I lured you in with my deliciously cryptic title? (Because I damn well know the majority of you didn't actually watch last Friday's show.) I have to admit, I'm a little behind in my recaps because, well, I'm human and took a little break from reality TV in deference to watching the news channels. One of these days, a horrible natural disaster will impact a reality show (Survivor: Tsunami or Real World: Key West) and I'll be interested to see how it plays out on TV. I'm disgusted that Big Brother hasn't (apparently) told the hamsters about Katrina. To watch Ivette and April kvetch and bitch about the rigors of their Big Brother lives just doesn't sit well with me these days. But enough proselytizing from me - that's not why you come to this site. You're reading this because you just can't stand the suspense of The Cut and just need to know who the final three are for the finale Wednesday night. That's right, CBS has moved The Cut again (not to mention the multiple times it's been pre-empted regionally for NFL preseason games) and the finale has very likely already aired by the time you're reading this. Funny thing is, you don't give a shit.
... And sweaty guys and squirts on shirts and bubble blowing and - you know what? Baseball is gay enough as it is, so no need to make it any gayer, Wes. What the hell am I talking about? In the latest episode of The Cut, Wes gave us his singular vision of what New York says to him: Hot guys with sweaty wieners and nice balls. And I say more power to him - it's about damn time we move past the 9/11 iconography and into a new age of homoeroticism. Transit cops, grow those mustaches and lose those shirts! Times Square, be the Pink Triangle you truly are! Homeless bums, pig piles on Fridays! Broadway shows, stay just the way you are, sister! But I digress... The show was about more than just Wes's gay fantasies as there were six others still competing for The Cut's crown. And the show is definitely picking up steam - Chelsea bath house steam, perhaps, but steam nonetheless.