Pimp My Antelope Hide - 
by
The next morning the Blue team couldn’t do a thing because someone had misplaced the keys to the car. A locksmith was called in to save the day while the Oranginas were off buying fabric for their vehicle. Princess, completely unaware as to how annoying she was the night before, continued her ways by referring to herself in the 3rd person. I guess if you name your kid Princess, you should expect her to turn out like that though.
Oh yeah, that's right, Shauna and Tommy were out at the People’s Choice Awards doing fake celebrity interviews. Honestly, I had no idea Hilfiger spent his days installing TV’s in his headrests while interviewing Peter Scolari about his next project. Did you? Anyway, it turned out Shauna did a decent job and at least knew who most of the stars were. Tommy, on the other hand, didn’t know a soul and it showed. He did, however, more than make up for it by wearing his Paul Revere and the Raiders tuxedo.
FaaaaabUlous
In NY, the teams were scrambling to finish up their Navigators. Chris was running a tight ship over on the Blue side, admonishing Jeff for being sloppy and for being a general screw-up. On the Orange team, Vlada was sitting in the backseat flirting with one of the guys from the shop. “I picked the color of that to match the interior all y’all bitches.” Wow, it was like Jeff, Vlada, and Princess had a secret side bet to see who could say the stupidest thing possible. We got our first view of the Orange team’s Navigator and they had this one in the bag – if only Fabolous were a trapper and not a rapper. Somewhere along the way, this team misheard Hilfiger and outfitted the interior like a taxidermist’s showroom. There were dead exotic animal skins all over the place. The only thing missing was a moose head over the center console. But who knows, maybe Vienna Fingers go well with antelope skin and Lynx fur.
It was time to get down to the important business of judging. Hilfiger arrived with car tuning aficionado Funkmaster Flex and, of course, Fabolous. They checked out both cars, mentioned a few likes and a few dislikes and were on their merry ways. Time for a Jeff platitude: “If I don’t win this, the world suffers for it. This is where God put me and I’m here to win. I truly believe that.” And I truly believe that if Team Orange built the giant Vienna Fingermobile, God would have seen it fit to run you over with it. Twice.
At Style Forum, Hilfiger talked with Tommy and Shauna about their red carpet experience. When asked to talk about some of the stars he had interviewed, Tommy stammered about how he’d met so many and couldn’t think of just one. What flamboyant queen worth his stole doesn’t know ANY glamorous Hollywood stars? Sigh, Tommy, don’t tell me you’re just putting on a show for the cameras! I’d be crestfallen. Shauna “won” that red carpet “competition” which meant absolutely nothing to the show, to those on it, or to the viewers watching it. It simply made no sense whatsoever.
On to the real decision with Fabolous and the Navigators. It turned out that he is indeed a rapper (not a fur trapper) and hated the random furs hanging all around. Hilfiger pressed a few of the gang on what they did for the task. Jeff proudly described how he came up with the license plate that said, “The Fab.” “Is that all?” Hilfiger asked.
“No, when we needed a locksmith I snatched a yellow pages.” 3 days and this tool’s biggest contribution was getting a free phonebook. Unfortunately, he’ll be around next week as the Orange team was the losing team and the two women who had met with the hip hop star and learned nothing were on the chopping block: Vlada and Princess. To no one’s surprise, useless Vlada was declared, “out of style” at which point she had to “take the runway.” To be fair, there were about 6 people this episode who didn’t say a single word or do anything productive on camera.
What do you think? What show should they rip-off next week?
Previous page | 1 | 2 ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums
Comments
What is up with Shauna's teeth....those things look like they died years ago.
Posted by: ad | June 17, 2005 6:06 AM(#1 of 16)
HIlfigger is so goddamned boring it makes me pine for his daughters show. Only he could have an anecdote about Mick Jagger, and make it dull.
And he dresses like an idiot. Does he realize hes like 60? When he showed up in that leather jacket jean combo, he looked like he was starring in the sequel to freaky friday.
Shauna's teeth are gray. Its freaky.
When Jeff said the whole "the world suffers if I dont win" line, it finally hit me. He's the serial killer from Seven. Pretty soon he'll have Princess nice little head in a box. Because you see, HE is envy.
Posted by: Eddiebosox | June 17, 2005 6:25 AM(#2 of 16)
Cool recap, sounds like a ridiculous show & one that I sure don't want to waste my time watching.
Besides, I hate people who wear fur, I'm not crazy about watching rich & stupid white guys & what kind of name is Princess for someone who isn't a poodle?
Posted by: Genevieve | June 17, 2005 8:09 AM(#3 of 16)
I noticed he pronounces design "DEE-sign". Like, overly pronounced. Not the "d-zine" we all say. And I could barely contain my laughter at this week's "you're out of style"--but I had to, cuz I was at the gym, in public. Oh, I love this madcap, nonsensical, derivative show!
Posted by: Jess | June 17, 2005 8:56 AM(#4 of 16)
(sigh)..this show is so boring I can't even handle one more episode. I'll have to just tune in for recaps from now on.
And why do rich, white, men have such bad hair?
Posted by: shelley | June 17, 2005 9:31 AM(#5 of 16)
Your opening comments regarding the true reason behind Hilfiger's fortuitous success should be taught in all MBA programs. Brilliant insight. This business model can also be parlayed into the niche brands, "Hilrican, Hilfink, and Hifuido," although, as you mentioned, they would not benefit from all of the free Grand Puba and Q-tip advertising. Maybe JLo and will hung. As a big fan of Rich Girls, I find the Cut to be a huge disappointment. I only watch in the hopes that we can see a repeat performance of Tommy doing the white man's overbite. He is a turtle. Great recap--if only the show was as good.
Posted by: Caroline | June 17, 2005 10:21 AM(#6 of 16)
I was hoping Shauna would leave because I thought she was being very whiny, plus I never really liked her very much in the first place. I actually enjoy this show a lot. I hate the catch phrase, though. I half-expected Vlada to say "but I'm sexy! Sexy people can never be out of style." lol
btw: Is this your first time recapping sg-dub or have I not paid close enough attention?
Posted by: tv freak | June 17, 2005 12:20 PM(#7 of 16)
btw:good recap
Posted by: tv freak | June 17, 2005 12:22 PM(#8 of 16)
sg-dub is going to be seen more and more on TVgasm, I have just been too lazy with an official announcement. We also have an editor who has been anonymously fixing most of the egregious grammar errors in most of our posts for almost a month now. I have yet to acknowledge her, but she's been great.
Posted by: J-Unit | June 17, 2005 12:26 PM(#9 of 16)
The only thing blacker than Shauna's teeth is her heart.
Posted by: GNARKILL | June 17, 2005 1:32 PM(#10 of 16)
Hey J-Unit there will now be reality on Wednesday as CBS is moving "The Cut" to Wednesday starting the 6th. Did you happen to wish for a wednesday reality show on a monkey paw?
Posted by: GNARKILL | June 17, 2005 2:08 PM(#11 of 16)
Tommy H. needs to go to a training class on being a reality show host. So does Trump for that matter. 2 rich men with no TV charisma. They are both dull as dirt!
Posted by: KatiesHole | June 18, 2005 5:53 AM(#12 of 16)
Thanks for telling me J-Unit.
Posted by: tv freak | June 18, 2005 8:46 AM(#13 of 16)
Hey J-Unit, can you have your editor correct our posts too? I have seen one too many "rediculous" on here. Thanks! Fair enough though, I think it may have been from a girl commenting on Beauty and the Geek.
Posted by: jayneatomic | June 18, 2005 9:58 PM(#14 of 16)
why doesn't Tommy just say "You're Cut"...
this show bites
Posted by: chris | June 20, 2005 7:41 AM(#15 of 16)
As a long time design consultant, I was looking forward to the show, but I had no idea it would be this boring and underwhelming. These "wannabe" designers are the best they could find ? Seems every show thus far Mr Hilfiger is choosing the lesser of two evils, or in this case it seems a choice between bad taste and no taste at all...plain horrible.
I'm not sure I'll continue to watch it, but like a deer caught in headlights or an accident, you gotta look ! It's just that bad !
Posted by: Krissa | June 24, 2005 12:14 PM(#16 of 16)